Happy Bloggiversary!

Today is the eighteenth anniversary of this blog. Considering how little I’ve posted during the past couple of years, perhaps I should rephrase that and say that I started this blog eighteen years ago. The two sentences mean basically the same thing, yet the first seems to indicate an ongoing proposition, while the second acknowledges the truth of my inactivity.

Over the years, I’ve used this blog as a place to dump all the thoughts and feelings that didn’t otherwise leave me alone, and luckily, nowadays I’m seldom haunted or taunted by those tenacious circular thoughts (thought loops that continue to swirl ever tighter as one’s mind tries to cope with stress and negativity).

I can’t take credit for the lessening of those thought loops since I’ve never really learned to turn them off; it’s more that I’ve landed in a situation where I can control what goes on in my life. Mostly, of course, that situation lets me spend my time alone, away from anyone or anything that causes me unnecessary distress. And I have pleasant means of occupying my mind — there’s always reading (and I do mean always — it’s no secret why the library staff knows me well) and gardening, of course.

I started the gardening season with a sense of detachment — it seemed foolish, in a way, to care so much for something about which I have little control. No matter what I do, plants die, the sun sears, winds desiccate, unsightly weeds flourish. And yet, despite my sense of detachment, I did what I could, and this fall, I’m reaping the benefits of a beautiful yard.

I have learned, over the years of living here in this sometimes harsh and unpredictable climate, that the promise of spring dies in the heat of summer, so I’ve been spending more attention to fall plants. By autumn, the winds have lessened, the sun has moderated its intensity, pulled weeds stay gone, and flowers flourish.

And I find my mind calm, with seldom anything to write about. Except, of course, to mention that there isn’t anything to blog about on this eighteenth anniversary. I could, of course, talk about all the changes that have gone on during those eighteen years, both in my life and in the world, but thinking of all that tumult would put me back where I don’t want to be.

Still, I survived those years, and through it all, this blog was there for me. And for you.

Happy bloggiversary to us!

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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.

We Know Everything

We all think we know everything because we know everything we know. The corollary to that statement, of course, is that we don’t know what we don’t know, and often we don’t even know we don’t know what we don’t know.

Whew! That’s a convoluted thought! But I come by it honestly. Honestly, I do.

I happened to fall down a dark hole of baby boomer hatred, not in real life, but on the internet. It astonished me that so many people hate “boomers,” even though their reasons don’t apply to any boomer I know. I was going to enumerate each of those reasons with a rebuttal, but decided that was a waste of my time and yours. No one can know a generation. Despite the names so arbitrarily given to the alleged generations, generations are made up of individuals, not generic beings. In fact, I have a hunch most of those who dislike certain older generations have no idea what years truly comprised those generations; the epithet “boomer” seems to be a derogatory term used to describe a mindset that younger people ascribe to any older person who doesn’t see life the way they do. (Generation gap, anyone?)

Much of what is attributed to “boomers” is really a leftover from the so-called greatest generation. When the boomers came of age, that generation was still in control. It wasn’t the boomers who destroyed the economy, but those older folks. (And it wasn’t even them. They just lived their lives. It was the politicians and global corporations who did and are still doing the damage.) The boomers got caught in a vise — although they were raised in a time of unprecedented economic stability, by the time they were raising families themselves, everything had changed. It was no longer economically feasible for a single salary to support a family. Two-incomes were suddenly necessary. And despite what people believe about the boomer economic well-being, millennials have a higher net worth than baby boomers at the same age. Although the millennials bought their first house later than boomers, and paid more, finances weren’t always the reason for the delay — many prioritized other life experiences over owning a home and starting a family.

Also, I was surprised to find that boomers are no longer the largest generation; millennials are. And the alpha generation is forecast to be the largest generation in history.

But all of that is beside the point, which is that we don’t know what we don’t know. What some people don’t like about boomers is that they aren’t grateful for the unprecedented economic and educational time they lived in, but how can they be grateful for something they didn’t know was something to be grateful for, especially since each of them was struggling in their own way? As I said, generations are made up of individuals, and each individual, no matter what generation they belong to (or don’t belong to: the generations, after all, are just marketing designations) lives their life as best as they can under the conditions they are given.

I have a hunch that, since “generation” isn’t really an intrinsic thing (we aren’t born with the name of our generation tattooed on our foreheads), most people who dislike a particular generation simply dislike certain people they have met from that generation (and if the disliked generations are older, those people are most often parents, grandparents, teachers, and other authority figures.)

But whatever the reason, “boomer” hatred does seem to be a thing. Luckily, I don’t know any generations, only people. I have never blamed younger people for the hardships they find themselves dealing with. And I don’t blame older people for the hardships they find themselves dealing with. All any of us can do is deal with is what we know, not what we don’t know.

Still, I am utterly grateful to be on the downward slope of my life. I wouldn’t want to live in the world that is shaping up around the younger generations.

(Just out of curiosity, since I’ve been thinking about all of this: has any other generation had to deal with so much change as the boomers? Especially technological change. To young boomers, television was a brand-new thing. Phones were wired into the wall. Vinyl records and radio were the sole sources for listening to music. Only girls learned typing — on manual typewriters, no less. And yet look at those people today: most are proficient on their various electronics. Those still working are as proficient as anyone.)

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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.