Writing Dialogue Isn’t an Exact Science

My guest blogger today is John Evans, author of The Fallen. Evans says:

From the first moment we enter the public education system, we are berated for a number of things. Whether it’s the hard slap of the ruler across our desk, followed by a stern, “Pay attention!” or the ever familiar punishment of writing, “I will not throw spit wads at the teacher during class” on the blackboard, our student lives are constantly inundated with rules of conduct. This is no different when writing in the English language. We are taught from a young age that there is a right way, and there is a wrong way to write. This, above every rule set forth by the education system, is the greatest pitfall a writer can face. 

By the rules and standards of the so-called “experts” of the English world, grammar must be perfect for a piece to effectively convey a thought or idea. At best, this may be true in expository writing, but on the whole “perfect” grammar is the final nail in the coffin of would be authors. The reason? Dialogue. 

Dialogue composition is a particularly difficult craft to master because unlike traditional writing, there are no concrete guidelines on how to go about teaching one’s characters to speak. The aspiring writer should know that dialogue is surrounded by quotation marks, followed by, so-in-so said. Simple enough, but what is typically overlooked is that humans don’t all speak in one set way. For example, Joe may have a Southern accent that needs the use of “yall”, yet the writer may instinctively write, “You all” because the mechanics of grammar demand it. Unfortunately, the act of doing so causes poor Joe to lose that quality that makes him a proud Southerner, and relegates him to a generic manner of speech. This in turn takes away from the overall quality of the story, and may even discourage the reader from going any further if Joe speaks in exactly the same fashion as somebody who is supposed to be from a completely different part of the world.  

My first novel, The Fallen, serves as living testament to my own struggles with the demons wrought forth by perfect grammar. I, like many aspiring writers who have come before me, fell into the trap of perfect grammar. This was especially apparent in the character of Aaron Yardovich. As his last name implies, he is supposed to be a Russian. Yet, in the first draft of the manuscript, he came off speaking like an automaton. There was no life in the character’s speech, and thus no life in the character. He was bland, boring, and otherwise insignificant. 

Which begs to question, how does one escape this dire pitfall when composing dialogue?  In a word, research. Most great authors will tell you to, “Write what you know.” This is horrible advice, unless one is willing to expand what he or she knows. To refine Aaron’s dialect, I had to enter the mindset of a Russian. To do this, I simply listened to my Russian physics lab instructor during my first year of college. In no time I turned the doldrums of Aaron’s computerized voice, to that of a stern talking Russian remnant of a Second Cold War.  

Of course this practice applies to writing in regional dialects as well. If one is to write in a character that is from Maine , then that character must be in possession of a Maine accent. This means that words like “compartment” could be written as “compautment”, as this is the nature of the Maine dialect. Moreover, it is necessary to take certain idiosyncrasies take into account.  For instance, what many of us call “dinner” is actually “supper” in certain parts of a country. Taking such minute details into account help to contribute to the overall believability of the character; however, this is not to say that one must butcher the English language to get the point across that a character is from a certain part of the world. There are other ways to emphasize this, and methods vary from writer to writer. The important thing is to make the reader believe that the character in question is indeed from a specific part of the world. 

Finally, the nature of sex in dialogue. Too often, a man’s way of speaking shows little difference from a woman’s in writing, and vice versa. A female character must possess a feminine quality about her speech for us to acknowledge she is a woman, just as a man must possess masculine qualities, but many writers fall short of this. A writer is either a man or a woman, and as such either writes as a man or a woman. 

The bottom line here is that dialogue isn’t an exact science. It is the art of giving one’s writing a soul, and thus giving it meaning. Mastering this truly challenging art form takes hard work, and years of perfection. But when it is mastered, it will serve the writer well, and take his or her craft to a level far greater than he or she ever thought possible.

Style: The Search for a Voice — NWJC Writing Discussion #44

My writing group on Gather.com — No Whine, Just Champagne — meets every Thursday at 9:00pm ET for a live discussion, and you are all invited. Tonight’s host is Suzanne Francis, author of the Song of the Arkafina series from Mushroom Books, and her topic is Style: The Search for a Voice. Suzanne writes:

Where do you find it? Is it lurking in the keyboard, in the classroom, or in the back of your mind? How do you know when you have a voice to call your own?

Today’s discussion will focus on how we, as authors, find authentic style.

Style begins with competence. (Unless you want to be known as one of those writers for whom ineptitude seems to be a defining trait. I won’t name names…)

One of my friends, a teacher, once told me that competence has four levels.

They are:

1. Unconscious Incompetence–This is where I started. I wrote and wrote, thousands of words a day, and I thought every one of them was pure gold. I was surprised and offended when my critiquers pointed out that there were flaws, inconsistencies, poorly constructed sentences, flabby paragraphs etc. etc. Sadly, many writers these days seem to be published while they are still in this stage.

2. Conscious Incompetence–The great eye opener. You realize that your work is mostly crap. Some people quit here, because they don’t want to do the work of objectively editing their work down into something readable. But if you keep at it, you’ll eventually graduate to…

3. Conscious Competence–I like to think that I am here, on a good day. I can see when the pace drags, when I am telling instead of showing. I work hard, examine my prose, recognize the flaws and fix them! I don’t get them all, but when my writing buddy finds something else I fix that too.

4. Unconscious Competence–Sometimes, very rarely, I get to visit this place, but I don’t live here. I’m sure you have had those moments when the words just pour from your fingers. Perfect fully formed sentences spring forth like Athene from the forehead of Zeus. I imagine there might be some writers who are able to keep this up long term, but I am not one of them. 

So once you have achieved level 3, or level 4 if you are very talented, do you have a style?

Nope.

Now you have to do a little detective work–look at your writing and listen to your instincts. Which words sing out from the page? Where do the characters say just what they need to? What settings add heft and bedrock to the action, or transcendent beauty?

That is where your style is hiding. Read those passages again and again. Zero in on what makes them tick; why they are so successful. Then, slowly, carefully, begin to put those discoveries to use in other places. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And eventually you find your style, a distillation of your very best writing, enriching every page.

Let me make one thing clear…

Style isn’t about following rules, despite what I said about competence earlier. We have all read things that were grammatically correct and well-structured, but still left us cold. The warmth in writing comes from our ability to know when to break a convention in order to add impact. It takes time, and the patience to write and read many, many thousands of words. There is no substitute for the hard work involved. But the moment we realize that we have written something that is recognizably ours and ours alone, can be very rewarding.

So–how and when did you discover your own style?  Do you think style should be dictated by genre, ie hard boiled for mystery, flowery for romance?  Are there any authors whose style you particularly admire?  Is your style evolving and if so, in which direction?


The group No Whine, Just Champagne will discuss these questions and more during our Live Discussion on Thursday, December 4th at 9:00pm ET. Hope to see you there! (A reminder: to participate, you need to be a member of gather, but it’s free. And to see the discussion, you will have to keep refreshing the page. It’s not like IM.)

Sneak Preview of My Book Covers.

Front and Back Covers of More Deaths Than One

Front and Back Covers of More Deaths Than One

Front and Back Covers of A Spark of Heavenly Fire

Front and Back Covers of A Spark of Heavenly Fire

Heart of Diamonds

My guest blogger today is Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds, a romantic thriller with roots in reality. Donelson says: 

There has been a great deal of discussion about reality versus imagination in memoir, but something that’s often overlooked is the role real events and people can play in fiction. 

That is especially true in a novel like Heart of Diamonds, my high-concept romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo. The plot concerns the White House, the President of the Democratic Republic of Congo, and an American televangelist in a diamond smuggling scheme that is uncovered by an enterprising TV reporter, Valerie Grey.

One of the main characters in Heart of Diamonds is Gary Peterson, the American televangelist who owns the diamond mine. He’s a fabulously successful man of God, a close pal of the President of the United States, and utterly devoted to making a quick buck or two if the opportunity presents itself. He also has a right hand man, missionary Thomas Alben, who runs the diamond mine for him and does most of the dirty work in the operation.

All of these characters are fictional, of course, but they had their genesis in the real world. The whole concept for Heart of Diamonds sprang from an article I read in Time Magazine about the cozy relationship between Pat Robertson, the famous American televangelist, and Mobutu Sese-Seko, the dictator who raped the Congo for thirty years. When I found out Robertson owned diamond mines and timber concessions in the Congo-making profits from slave labor, no less –I  simply had to write a book about it.

The Robertson-Mobutu connection is fascinating. Mobutu was essentially put in office by the CIA. He ran the country for three decades and stole literally billions of dollars. During that time, he had one of the worst human rights records in Africa.

The other member of the tag team is Pat Robertson, one of the most successful evangelical preachers of all time. He founded the 700 Club, ran for President of the United States, and has millions of followers around the world who subscribe to his version of Christianity. You wouldn’t think these two men would be buddies, but they were.

Robertson had many business interests in the Congo-and it just wasn’t possible to operate there at the time without the direct approval of Mobutu. It was also well-known that you didn’t get that approval for free. Apparently, Robertson and Mobutu got along famously. The Time article reported that one time, Robertson and his wife and their entourage were flown from Paris to Kinshasa on one of Mobutu’s personal Boeing 707s. In Zaire, Mobutu himself took them on the presidential yacht on a ride up the Congo River to visit one of his estates.

Robertson had a relief program in the Congo that is still functioning, Operation Blessing, as well as a private concern called the African Development Company, which made investments in mining, lumber, agriculture, transportation and power generation, supposedly with an eye to plowing the profits back into humanitarian efforts. One of those investments was a diamond mine in a small town south of Tshikapa near the Congo’s border with Angola. That’s the site of the diamond mine in Heart of Diamonds.

One of the men who ran ADC for Robertson was Bill Lovick, a former minister of the Assemblies of God who was dismissed by the church in 1985 for questionable fund-raising practices. Readers of Heart of Diamonds may find some interesting similarities between these men and some of the characters in the novel, notably televangelist Gary Peterson, the missionary Thomas Alben who runs the diamond mine, and Moise Messime, the President of the Congo.

The more I learned about these guys and the things they were doing in the Congo in the name of Jesus Christ, the more intrigued I became. Heart of Diamonds isn’t their story-the smuggling scheme, the connection to the White House, the U.S. military involvement, and many other elements are completely fictional. The characters are figments of my imagination, too, although they certainly have personality traits similar to some real individuals.

What is very real in Heart of Diamonds is my portrayal of the terrible plight of the people of the Democratic Republic of Congo, which is the direct result of the unadulterated greed of people trying to control the vast natural resources of the country. Mobutu may be long gone and Pat Robertson’s business interests gone with him, but the brutality continues.

Interview with C.A. Milson, author of The Chosen

Interview with C.A Milson, author of The Chosen, available from Amira Press:

Bertram: What inspired you to write The Chosen?

CM:  The first inspiration for writing this particular story came to me in 1989, when I was living in Melbourne, Australia. The original story was titled “Shack of Evil”, a 9-page story based on the character of Jamiesonn. The story idea came from a Hobbytex picture my mother had on the wall of her apartment. After writing “Shack of Evil”, I went on to write an additional 25 short stories, all of different genres, including a children’s story. “Shack of Evil” would later become the base for what is now the trilogy of The Chosen, Bloodline of Darkness, and Prophecy’s End.

Bertram: What was the hardest part of writing your novel?

CM: The hardest part is the re-writing of chapters and scenarios. No part of writing is perfect from the first sentence, as I will have an idea for a chapter, then when I have reviewed it I am likely to scratch that whole scene and go in a completely different direction. The other hard part is coming up with new ideas and concepts. There are times when I can sit in front of the computer for hours with no inspiration at all.

Bertram: What is your favorite scene?

CM: One of my favorite scenes in The Chosen is when Alex faces his nemesis for the last time. Alex has been anointed with supernatural power that even the forces of darkness sit back in awe. There is a scene where he is thrown into the sea of fire, and . . . well, I won’t say too much as that will give the plot away.

Bertram: What do you hope readers will say about your book?

CM: I hope my readers will say that they loved my novel and await the second one to come out!

Bertram: What’s next for you?

CM: Next for me is writing Bloodline of Darkness, which is the second in the trilogy in the life of Alex Manning — a man who is put in the middle of a spiritual conflict he otherwise wants no part of. Bloodline of Darkness is set seven years after The Chosen. Alex has forsaken his powers to live a “normal” life, and the forces of Tartarus have arisen to harvest the souls of humans and plunge the world into darkness. Alex once again must stand and save humanity but can he overcome the ever-present darkness that also reigns in his own heart?

Drabbles and Dribbles

My guest blogger today is Sheila Deeth, author of Christmas! Genesis to Revelation in 100 Words a Day and Easter! Creation to Salvation in 100 Words a Day. Shiela writes: 

I drabble. Technically, since drabble’s a noun, I should say I write drabbles. They’re defined in Wikipedia as “extremely short” works of fiction “exactly one hundred words in length.” But however short, they’re still stories, with beginning, middle and end; and they might even be fun to read, like haiku supersized. 

Dribbles are drabbles with fifty words. And double-drabbles have two hundred. 

It doesn’t take much to write a drabble; just a paragraph or two. And once I’ve typed my mini-masterpiece I can edit something that needs only moments to read. I learn to check, where’s this going? Has anything changed? Did I repeat myself when I should’ve found a synonym? And what can I delete-adjectives, adverbs? 

I learn to choose between showing and telling with only words for one scene, selecting details to draw in the reader, and exercising the gentle art of leaving some things out. 

With a novel, I’ll want readers to keep turning the pages. With a drabble, I hope to keep their thoughts churning. And maybe some small idea will stick, till one day my book hits the stores and glues itself to their questing hands. 

I drabble, and this article is double-drabble sized. 

The drabble below is one of a series I’m posting on gather.com for Thanksgiving (though it’s probably got more to do with Hanukah). There’s a dribbled version underneath.

How do you rebuild what is broken and dirtied and destroyed? Where do you begin? 

They ripped out the altar and built it new. They set new stones to reform the walls and cleansed the undergrowth that had wrecked the pavement. They brought back the lamp and the incense and table and arranged them in their place. And they prepared the sacrifice. 

But all their labors were in vain; there was scarcely oil even to light the lamp. 

How do you rebuild? You pray to God. Then the teaspoon of oil lasted eight days long and the Temple was restored. 

…and a dribble? 

They ripped out the altar, reset the stones, and cleansed the undergrowth that had wrecked the floor. They relit lamps, burned incense, and prepared the sacrifice. But light faded, the oil was gone, the lantern burning dry. 

They prayed and the oil held out, restored, eight glorious days and nights.

Waiting for the Ball

Originally, my first book was going to be released in September and the second in October, then both were going to be released at the beginning of November, now I’m looking at December.

I understand about publishing delays, but my publishing date always seems to be just out of reach. It makes me feel as if I’m in a strange game where the quarterback told me to go long and he’d pass me the ball. So there I am out in left field, waiting to dunk the ball or perhaps dropkick it home. Play after play, down after down, inning after inning I stand there, bouncing on the balls of my feet, hands in the air, planning my victory dance. But I never get the ball.

I can see everyone else on the team running around the bases, throwing passes, making baskets. Empty-handed, I wait. And wait. Eventually, I know, I will get the ball. But will I remember what I’m supposed to do with it?

The Story Behind “Stalking Susan” by Julie Kramer

Julie Kramer, author of Stalking Susan is here as my guest to to tell us the story behind the Susans:

Because the plot in my debut thriller involves a serial killer targeting women named Susan, people want to know if I have a special enemy by that name. I don’t. STALKING SUSAN is not a personal tale of revenge.

But some stories stay with journalists long after the newscast wraps. A decade ago, as a television news producer, I covered two cold case homicides that inspired me to write STALKING SUSAN. The cases involved two women, both named Susan, murdered exactly two years apart in St. Paul, MN.

My debut story is not their story. That’s why I use the word ‘inspired,’ rather than ‘based on.’ Their cases remain unsolved. But in the world of fiction I was free to ask myself, what if?

Being a career journalist it’s no surprise I’m a rip-it-from-the-headlines writer. But transitioning from writing news to writing fiction did come naturally. It felt like cheating. And it was work to overcome that feeling. Apparently though, I do have an imagination – a vivid one – and it kicks in for the conclusion, if not the set up.

When I wrote STALKING SUSAN, I changed the victims’ appearances, occupations, and the times and locations of their deaths. I also added more victims. I changed their last names and almost changed their first name. But I decided to keep Susan because I never forgot them and I wanted others to remember them, too.

I don’t recommend other authors give their characters the same name — I ended up with five Susans — it complicates storytelling and character development. But if I’d changed their names to Mary, I’d have ended up with a completely different plot. Because the twists in STALKING SUSAN come from using name origination and famous Susans in history as clues. Because of this, readers named Susan tell me they love the story because it makes them feel special.

When it comes to the world of news, It’s the stories without resolution that tend to stick in reporters’ minds. Besides the parallels of name and date of death – which could end up being completely coincidental – what attracted me to these cases was that they were unimportant murders, buried deep inside the daily newspapers with no real follow-up. Fifteen years later a reporter colleague and I made a run for tips and answers and came up empty. That’s how it usually ends in newsrooms, no matter what you see about reporters in the movies or read in books.

In real life, journalists don’t often catch the killer, so writing this book was a little like living a news fantasy.

But it really was just a fantasy, because bottom line, someone, maybe more than one someone, got away with murder. So any opportunity to keep the names of the true victims out there, is a good thing. So here goes:

Susan Ginger Petersen, age 28, was strangled May 17, 1983.
Susan Jean Rheineck, age 16, was asphyxiated May 17, 1985.

Their murders have never officially been connected. Not by DNA, witnesses or any other evidence. But some similarities in the crime scenes are suggestive.

Now the St. Paul Police Cold Case Unit is taking a fresh look at these murders, and privately investigators are saying wouldn’t it be funny if fiction brought attention to bring tips to solve the crimes after all this time.

To learn more about the author visit http://www.juliekramerbooks.com

Julie Kramer: Stalking Susan

Book Blogs, a Bibliophile’s Dream

I’ve been orbiting the blogosphere, looking for bloggers who will host my blog tour (if you’re interested, let me know!) for when and if my books are published. (The date has been pushed back another month, so I’m looking at sometime in December.) Most of the sites I found want a review copy, but they do not guarantee they will do a review, nor do they guarantee that it will be a complimentary one.

Sounds great — for the reviewer. If I still retained the thrill I used to get from reading (I lost it about 10,000 books ago) I would set myself up as a book blogger. Just think — I’d never have to buy another book; I’d have a steady stream of reading material; and I wouldn’t have to do anything in return unless I wanted to. And I’d get a gazillion blog readers. Well, maybe not a gazillion, but more than I get now. And, of course, it would be a great way to promote my own books.

Too bad I don’t have the spirit for it. But maybe you do. If you want to become a  book blogger/reviewer, you can find an article about how to write reviews here.

The Slamming of the Doors

Hear the slamming of the doors
Wooden doors!
Metallic doors!
What a tale their terror tells
Of Despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the bosom of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging,
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows
From the slamming of the doors,
The doors, doors, doors, doors.

(My apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)