Bertram's Blog

Dona Nobis Pacem

November 4, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I joined the peace bloggers in 2012. And every November 4th since then, I have blogged for — and about — peace.

This year’s theme is “Peace in the time of quarantine.” Although I do not believe in the possibility of world peace (because war and other international conflicts are never our personal choice but are fostered by others or foisted on us by circumstances), I do believe in personal peace, in finding peace within ourselves no matter what happens to provoke us into chaos.

We tend to think of peace as a passive thing. An absence of strife. Effortless calm. Yet, when we talk of unrest and chaos (or whatever is the opposite of peace), it’s always about action, doing something, committing something — committing acts of terrorism, declaring war, fighting, rioting, tormenting, bullying.

Maybe peace is also about action, about committing acts of peace. We as individuals can’t arrange truces between warring factions, whether global or familial. We can’t bring peace to chaotic countries — ours or anyone else’s. Often the best we can do is bring peace to our own lives, arrange a truce between our inner and outer selves, find a way to ease our anger, create art (because people who are involved in creating a piece of art are also creating a space for peace), meditate or take a walk. Commit acts of peace.

It’s odd to think that this time of quarantine, which because of enforced isolation and orders to stay at home should have been a time of peace, has been one of the most violent times in recent years. But the country at large, especially the bigger cities have been ablaze with chaos.

Of course, being forced into isolation — any sort of force, actually — can’t bring about peace. It’s no wonder people were so ready to erupt into violence — isn’t that some sort of law of physics? Equal and opposite reaction and all that? On a smaller scale, victims of abuse were forced into situations where they had no escape, so for these people, instead of bringing about peace, the quarantine brought about more horror.

Apparently, I have nothing positive to say about peace in the time of quarantine, even though my own life during this time has been quiet and contemplative. I’ve managed to stay away from strife — except for occasionally getting riled up by all the lies and idiocies going on. I’ve even managed to commit acts of peace — if only by taking solitary walks, blogging, reading, enjoying a rare visit with friends.

If you don’t have a blog or think this a hopeless cause, you can still participate in this event by committing an act of peace. I hope you will.

***

Please check out my new book!

“I am Bob, the Right Hand of God. As part of the galactic renewal program, God has accepted an offer from a development company on the planet Xerxes to turn Earth into a theme park. Not even God can stop progress, but to tell the truth, He’s glad of the change. He’s never been satisfied with Earth. For one thing, there are too many humans on it. He’s decided to eliminate anyone who isn’t nice, and because He’s God, He knows who you are; you can’t talk your way out of it as you humans normally do.”

Click here to order the print version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.
Click here to purchase the Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in blogging, culture, life. Tags: @BlogBlast4Peace, Blog 4 peace, commit acts of peace, November 4, peace, Peace Bloggers, peace in the time of quarantine. 10 Comments »

Walking in the Cemetery

November 3, 2020 — Pat Bertram

A friend invited me to go walking with her in the cemetery yesterday, and I jumped at the chance. It’s a pretty place — at least in the daytime — and even historic, containing, as it does, graves of some early settlers. It’s also free of dogs, which are becoming more of a problem all the time.

I found it interesting that yesterday was also All Souls Day, which made the trek apropos. We didn’t encounter a soul — dead or alive — as we meandered along the roads, searching for the grave of someone she knew who had recently died. Many of the graves were decorated with fake flowers. With the advent of silk flowers, I’ve wondered why there is still a market for plastic flowers, and now I know the answer — they are the flower of choice to decorate graves.

As my friend promised, there were no dogs.

With daylight savings time ended, it gets dark early here, and will continue to get darker for the next several weeks. I am so not a fan of the creeping darkness, but it’s even worse now because of working. My shift ends after sunset, and though I don’t worry about walking in the dark — it’s only two blocks on a quiet street. Besides, there’s a streetlight, and I carry a flashlight, so I’m not worried about the darkness as such. What does worry me are the dogs running loose. It’s one thing when it’s light enough for me to see them coming, another to have them approach out of nowhere.

I’ll have a stick, and even some pepper spray that someone gave me, so I should be okay. I’d heard that spraying water is even more effective, but for now, I’ll just stick with what I have and worry about other deterrents later if necessary.

I hope I remember to leave a light on in the house to make it more inviting — somehow it seems so lonely coming home to a dark house, even though I don’t notice any problem in the day.

Despite my reservations, it might be nice walking in the dark. I don’t often do that anymore — mostly because there’s no reason to. It’s too bad that there are just enough lights in town to obscure the stars because I do enjoy walking under the stars. I’ve heard that a vast number of stars are visible just outside of town, but since I don’t like driving at night (or maybe it’s that the night doesn’t like me driving), I haven’t yet explored the possibility.

I hope I don’t sound cranky. Despite unpleasant dogs roaming loose and the creeping darkness, I feel grateful for all I have — a job, a house to come home to, and friends who invite me to go walking in the cemetery.

***

Bob, The Right Hand of God is now published! Click here to order the print version of Bob, The Right Hand of God. Or you can buy the Kindle version by clicking here: Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

What if God decided to re-create the world and turn it into a galactic theme park for galactic tourists? What then?

Posted in culture, house, life. Tags: All Soul's Day, carrying a stick, dog problem, plastic flowers on graves, walking in the dark. 3 Comments »

The Grass From Hell

November 2, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I malign this poor grass. Bermuda grass is only the grass from hell if you’re trying to dig it up. It’s a chore, that’s for sure! Because of it’s extensive — and deep — root system, it takes several stabs with a shovel to get deep enough to pull out even a small chunk of the grass. And it does come out in chunks of soil and roots.

I imagine this ability to bind soils makes it a good grass in windy areas, such as this one. I certainly don’t lose any topsoil (assuming there is any at all in this ancient yard) during the high wind storms. The deep roots make Bermuda grass hard to kill with neglect. Even if it turns brown in the heat of summer, it will always come back with a touch of rain. Despite that — or maybe because of that — it is heat and drought resistant. When I figure out what areas of my yard I want to be green, I’ll water the heck out of the grass and end up with a lush looking lawn.

For now, I know one area I don’t want the grass — it’s between the two sidewalks and would be hard to mow. Besides, that island will make a great zinnia bed. And so the grass has to go, though to be honest, right about now, I’m rethinking that plan. I’ve worked a couple of hours today and yesterday, and oh, am I exhausted! To say nothing of sore and weak-kneed. The area is approximated six feet by sixteen feet, and I’ve managed to dig up maybe 24 square feet so far. Lots of hard shoveling! And even after digging up all those roots, chances are the grass will come back because not only does it have such an extensive root system that it’s impossible to get every bit, it also propagates by seed, and there’s no telling how many seeds are left behind. No wonder the preferred method of removing the grass is to zap it with Round-up, but that’s not anything I would ever consider.

I have a hunch this is the wrong time of year to be digging up grass or doing any gardening other than planting a few things that prefer to be settled in the fall, but the way I figure, I’m here now, the grass is here (and by no means green, not even on the other side of the fence!), the ground is still faintly damp from the recent though long-melted snow so the digging is a mite easier, and it’s a good reason to be out in this perfect fall weather.

The weather will change again next week, but with any luck, I’ll have most of the island grass-free, ready for spring fertilizing and planting.

I did mention, didn’t I, that we planted my greengage plum trees? (Well, my contractor and his helper did, I just stood around and pretended I was working.) I had an extra tree (I’d ordered it for a friend who no longer had a place for it) and without any better idea of where to put it, we planted in the middle of the island. I’ll have to prune it every year to keep it small, but that will make the fruit easier to reach — assuming there is fruit and assuming the birds leave any for me. In a way, it will be like a birdfeeder without all the work and the mess. (Though I am sure there will be other messes, but I don’t want to think about that.)

If by chance, I’ve whet your appetite for digging, you are welcome to join me in my yard tomorrow around mid-morning. I have an extra shovel.

***

Click here to order the print version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.
Click here to purchase the Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in gardening, house, life. Tags: bermuda grass, bermuda grass roots, digging up bermuda grass, killing bermuda grass, planting trees. 5 Comments »

Next Time

November 1, 2020 — Pat Bertram

A portmanteau word is a word that combines words, such as brunch, which is a combination of breakfast and lunch, but since a portmanteau is a large trunk, it would make more sense for portmanteau words to be those that carry extra weight and meaning.

Such as “next time.”

I’d never thought of those particular words — they are so common as to be almost meaningless — but a character in a novel I just finished reading believes “next time” are the two best words in the English language. “Next time” is not exactly mellifluous — others words are much prettier, such as ethereal or serene — but the more I think about “next time”, the more I can see what the character means.

“Next time” tells a story. Something didn’t happen the way you planned, you made a mistake, you weren’t quite good enough, but another time will come around where perhaps things will happen the way you planned, you didn’t make a mistake, you were good enough.

“Next time” is actually the premise of most stories. The story of the three bears comes to mind. The first time Goldilocks sits at the table in the bear’s house, the chair was too hard and the porridge too hot. The second time, the chair was too soft and the porridge too cold. But the next — oh, the next time everything was perfect. As simple as the story line is, it’s the basis of many tales, especially the hero’s journey. He tries, doesn’t succeed. Tries a second time, giving it his all, and still doesn’t succeed. But he undergoes a transformation, becoming the hero — the person who can succeed. And the next time he tries, he accomplishes his task. (Technically, I suppose, the middle try is also a “next time,” but in a way, instead of disproving my point, it shows that there is always another next time.)

“Next time” isn’t just about stories. “Next time” carries within itself a whole trunk full of possibilities, of hope, even of miracles. Anything can happen the next time because . . . well, because it’s not this time when so many things are going wrong.

“Next time” offers a promise of a second chance.

“Next time” gives us a chance to be better. To be kinder, more thoughtful, more careful, more whatever we need to be next time.

So, no matter what happens today and in the next several days, take heart that there will be a next time.

***

What if God decided to re-create the world and turn it into a galactic theme park for galactic tourists? What then?

Posted in life, writing. Tags: portmanteau words, the hero's journey, The Three Bears, the three bears plot, two best words in English language, when things don't go as planned, when things go wrong. 4 Comments »

Oh, My! The Pressure!

October 31, 2020 — Pat Bertram

Oh, the pressure!

It’s not just that today is Halloween, because no one comes to the door anyway. The next street over is where the activity is.

It’s not just that I had three big trees to plant, because I had help planting them.

It’s not just that this is the last Saturday before the election that might change our lives forever, because at this point, there’s nothing I can do about it.

It’s not just that daylight savings is ending with all the problems the time change brings because, well . . . there’s nothing I can do about that either. I could of course not change the clocks as I did (didn’t do?) one year when I was young and just deal with the wrong clocks, but since some clocks change themselves nowadays while others don’t, dealing with two different times is more confusion than I need.

It’s not just that today is another warm day in a string of warm days after the big freeze — that’s not where the pressure comes in; it’s that I had to drag out my hoses again as if we were heading toward spring rather than winter.

And oh, yeah, speaking of winter — it’s not just that winter is around the corner.

It’s that tomorrow begins a new month and I have to pick a tarot deck to use for the month. (I pick one card every day to see what it can tell me, though usually what it tells me is that it has nothing to do me with.)

Oh, my! The pressure! It’s not the same for normal people who have but one deck (or not decks at all). I have dozens of them! I suppose I could continue using the deck I’ve been using, though that one doesn’t really speak to me. Actually, none of the decks I’ve used so far seem to strike a chord, so I’ll have to keep trying out the various decks. I figure a month gives each deck a good tryout, and so here I am, back at the beginning of all this roundaboutation with me needing to pick a new tarot deck for November. I guess I’ll just close my eyes and grab one. And voila! That lessens the pressure.

(Out of curiosity, I looked up roundaboutation because MSWord says it’s not a word, and to be honest, I thought I was making it up, but it is actually a word that has been in use since the 1800s. Who knew?)

I hope your day is a lot less pressurized than mine. I’d say Happy Halloween, but I don’t know if saying that is acceptable any more or if it’s been changed to something more specific for those who subscribe to identity politics or something less specific for those who are too sensitive to deal with other people’s business. I sure as heck don’t need that kind of pressure, so I’ll just say, “Have a Happy ___” and let you fill in the blank.

***

What if God decided to re-create the world and turn it into a galactic theme park for galactic tourists? What then?

Posted in culture, life, tarot. Tags: choosing a tarot deck, end of daylight savings time, last Saturday before election, learning the tarot, planting trees, roundaboutation, turning clocks back. 2 Comments »

Version of Reality

October 30, 2020 — Pat Bertram

It’s an odd experience, trying to sort truth from propaganda and outright lies because if one thing is true, the other thing can’t be, and the whole narrative we’re being told falls apart. If some of the “facts” we are given are fabricated, then obviously, we can’t use those facts as a basis for balancing what is real against what is not. Although it doesn’t make it so, I tend to believe that what is banned is in fact real because my blog was banned, and that sure is real and not spam or fake or whatever other rational FB used to ban it. And I tend to believe that banned stories are true, because if they were false, no one would care enough to ban them. (And if you think that the self-appointed gatekeepers of information have your best interests in mind, think again!)

If what we are learning about certain corrupt hack politicians is true, then it makes for a very scary future. In fact, the whole scenario of this election in the USA sounds so much like a farfetched political thriller, with the fate of world dependent on the outcome, that none of it seems real. And maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s all a play — or some sort of alternate reality — being enacted for our benefit.

So what is real? It comes down to what we can see out in the real world, not on news broadcasts (because those are horrendously biased), or in videos (because those can be falsified), or in photos (because of the ability of anyone to alter any photo). And it’s about what we hear in the real world, again, not from broadcasts, videos, etc.

So, this computer is real, as am I. The sun outside is real. The squirrel that is eating at the birdfeeder next door is real (though I’m sure the birds wished it weren’t).

In this version of reality, there are no politics, no lies or “false facts,” no grab for globalist power.

There’s just me and what I personally experience.

But when things are narrowed like that in a discussion of reality, we have to wonder if what we see, hear, touch, taste, smell is really real. The mind, apparently, has an infinite capacity for self-deception, especially in times of chaos and confusion. It can convince us that whatever reality it has conjured for us is in fact happening, when it might simply be our poor overworked brains trying to make sense of a senseless world. We also seem to come equipped with blinkers, which keep us from seeing that what is happening out in the world is actually happening to us.

So is anything real? On a certain level, of course, nothing is real. Everything comes down to various wavelengths or particles of energy that seem to disappear into nothingness the closer one looks. Our brains — themselves wavelengths or particles of energy — translate that energy into the reality it wants to feed us. Still, whatever the truth, I think we have to pretend that something is real.

Since I can’t verify that anything going on outside my personal range is actually happening, I choose to pretend that my senses are showing me a version of reality — the only reality — that is real and true.

***

Click here to order the print version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.
Click here to purchase the Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in life. Tags: is it a political thriller or is it real, truth and lies, verifying the truth, what is real, what is real online, what is truth, worried about the election. 2 Comments »

Interpreting the Tarot

October 29, 2020 — Pat Bertram

Today’s tarot card was the most confusing card I ever picked. The only consensus among the various interpretations I found was that it’s a card pertaining to work or money in some way.

One interpretation said it means making money by working for the law or outside the law. The same source said it means illegal money doomed to be squandered. Also, losing a seemingly secure asset or other financial troubles as well as the worry and suffering stemming from those troubles.

Ouch. So not a good omen!

And yet other interpretations are almost diametrically opposed to the first one, such as the card signifying hard work, tasks to be accomplished, saving money rather than squandering one’s earnings. Also, the rewards of honest labor as well as prudence, industriousness, patience, perseverance, diplomacy.

Still other interpretations talk of apprenticeship and mastery, such as learning the tarot. Working hard to improve one’s skills. Sheer determination and concentration to master those skills. It also offers assurance that the energy invested in one’s development will be worth one’s while.

Since I’m still not sure there is any value to my tarot studies, that interpretation seemed specifically geared toward me, as did the final one, which suggested that it’s time for me to work at improving my health and to stay vigilant about diet and exercise.

Although I am sticking to my diet — no sweets of any kind, no fried foods, no baked goods — I have been getting lax about exercise. I find myself not wanting to walk because I’m intimidated by the cold, of all things. That doesn’t portend well for me since we haven’t even hit really cold weather yet. Luckily, I have warm coats and other cold weather gear like hats, ear coverings, gloves, but eek. I am not ready for winter.

As for the interpretations of this particular card that seemingly have nothing to do with me — it shows that the cards are truly open to interpretation. They can mean whatever anyone says they mean within certain parameters. Will that make learning the cards any easier? I don’t know. So far, I’m still taking the cards one day at a time.

Actually, I’m taking everything one day at a time, or at least I’m working on it.

***

What if God decided to re-create the world and turn it into a galactic theme park for galactic tourists? What then?

Posted in culture, life, tarot. Tags: apprenticeship and mastery, eight of pentacles, intimidated by winter, lax about exercise, sticking to my diet, studying the tarot, tarot is open to interpretation. 3 Comments »

One Week Until the Blog Blast for Peace!

October 28, 2020 — Pat Bertram

One month from today, on November 4th, people all over the world will blog for peace. Blog4Peace was created and founded by Mimi Lenox, who believes that because words are powerful, blogging for peace is important.

Mimi began blogging for peace in November, 2006. Thirteen years and thousands of peace bloggers later she — and all those she inspired — are still blogging for peace. On every continent. In 214 countries and territories. In war-torn countries and peaceful villages. Whole families. Teenagers. Senior citizens. Veterans of war. Poets and singers. Teachers. Schoolchildren. Authors and artists. Doctors. Lawyers. Cats (many, many cat bloggers). Dogs. Gerbils. Birds. Goats and Bunnies. Scientists. Designers. Researchers. Stay-at-home-parents. Kids. Baby Boomers.

And me.

I joined the peace bloggers in 2012. And I still blog for peace.

This year’s theme is “Peace in the time of quarantine,” and that is a theme I can adopt. Although I do not believe in the possibility of world peace (because war and other international conflicts are never our personal choice but are fostered by others or foisted on us by circumstances), I do believe in personal peace, in finding peace within ourselves no matter what happens to provoke us into chaos.

And yes, words are powerful. And yes, this matters.

How To Blog For Peace:

Choose a graphic from the peace globe gallery http://peaceglobegallery.blogspot.com/p/get-your-own-peace-globe.htmlor from the photos on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/BlogBlastForPeace#!/BlogBlastForPeace/app_153284594738391 Right click and Save. Decorate it and sign it, or leave as is.
Send the finished globe to blog4peace@yahoo.com
Post it anywhere online November 4 and title your post Dona Nobis Pacem (Latin for Grant us Peace)

Sounds cool, doesn’t it? See you on November 4!

***

Click here to order the print version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.
Click here to purchase the Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in blogging, life. Tags: @BlogBlast4Peace, BlogBlastForPeace, DonaNobisPacem, mimi lenox, November 4, peace, Peace Bloggers, peace in the time of quarantine. 4 Comments »

For the Birds

October 27, 2020 — Pat Bertram

Once upon a time, I set out to learn bird names, but when it dawned on me that these are the names humans gave them, not what the birds call themselves, and that the names don’t tell the inner truth of birdness, I lost interest.

Still, yesterday when I noticed a distinctive bird fighting for space with a blue jay at my neighbor’s birdfeeder, I wanted to know what I was seeing. The bird was black with red wings, so that’s what I googled — red-winged black bird. I had to laugh — out loud, in fact — at the name of the bird. It’s called the red-winged black bird. That sure told me a lot about the bird! I don’t know what I was expecting — an exotic name of some sort, something other than the obvious, though I shouldn’t have since birds are often described by color: blue jay, robin red breast, goldfinch.

Apparently, the red-winged black bird is one of the more common birds in this country, though I only remember seeing it a couple of times, but that’s not saying much. They could be where I’m not. For example, when I was growing up in Denver, robins were a frequent sight, but when I moved to the western slope of Colorado, I’d be lucky to see one every two or three years.

(Speaking of Denver — I just read that it’s tenth on the list of most rat-infested cities. Rats? In Denver? There weren’t rats when I was there, at least none that I’d ever heard of.)

I’d ordered a couple of greengage plum trees to be delivered at the appropriate time for planting this fall, and I just got notification that they will be coming in the next couple of days. It should be fun digging holes in the snow! Well, no. Not fun. But if it warms up enough by the time the trees get here, the extra moisture might make it easier to dig.

Although greengage plums where I lived on the western slope were the best plums I’ve ever eaten, I realize that the soil here might give them a different taste. (A friend in California gave me some when I was there, and they were nothing like the ones I grew.) And I realize I will mostly be planting them for the birds. Assuming the trees survive and assuming they flower and assuming the blossoms don’t freeze in the unpredictable Colorado spring and assuming the blossoms produce plums and assuming the fruit tastes the way I hope it will taste, the chances of my finding any that the birds have left alone is quite slim.

Still, birds need to eat. And who knows, the fruit might attract another exotic bird like the red-winged black bird.

***

Click here to order the print version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.
Click here to purchase the Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in life. Tags: bird watching, greengage plums, planting trees in the snow, rats in Denver, red-winged black bird, robin red breast, western slope. 3 Comments »

Snow Day

October 26, 2020 — Pat Bertram

It snowed last night, so much so that the entire town is closed down. And so am I. I’m not going anywhere. I would have preferred to stay inside, too, but as a homeowner I am now responsible for keeping my sidewalks shoveled. I doubt anyone would have hurt themselves if I hadn’t shoveled, because of the town being closed down, but I tend to err on the safe side.

Until today, any snow we’ve had since I’ve been here were easily swept off the sidewalks, but this snow was heavier, so I swept the front wooden ramp and shoveled the front sidewalk.

I worried about cleaning the snow off my new sidewalk/ramp in the back since the handrails have not yet been installed, and slipping on snow and ice is not on my to-do list for today. (Or any day!) I thought it best to just use the front entrance until the snow completely melted. (I prefer the rear since I have a sort of mud room — really, just a designated area — back there, which keeps dirt out of the house.)

But then, inspiration struck. There’s no rule book that says I have to clean the snow from the house outward, so since I was outside anyway, I cleaned the back ramp from the bottom up. No slips or falls!

I’m exhausted now, of course. Shoveling a mile of sidewalks is hard work. To be entirely truthful, a mile is a bit of an exaggeration. I think it was only a little over 120 feet when I count the front sidewalk, the back sidewalk, and the ramps. But that’s still a lot for a woman who’s only months away from being officially “elderly.” A young elderly, but still . . .

With any luck, I’ll be rested soon, which is good because I’ll have to go out again. The snow had stopped for a while and now it’s snowing heavily. (Probably because I cleaned the sidewalks. Life seems to like playing pranks like that.) What is really lucky is that although I don’t have good snow boots, I have excellent all-weather hiking boots. They kept me from slipping today, and they’ll be especially great when I hike the two blocks to my job tomorrow.

So what’s the moral of this blog? The lesson learned? There’s no real point to this blog that I can see other than when things are worrisome, look at them from a different direction, and when necessary, work from the bottom to the top rather than top to bottom. Or something like that.

***