being grateful | Bertram's Blog

Taking “L” Things With Gratitude

November 16, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the twelfth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “L” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Life. We generally take life for granted. After losing someone important to us, we pay attention to life, either grateful we still have it or regretful that the dead don’t, but gradually we slip back into taking life for granted. It makes sense — we live life, though we don’t truly know what it is, why it is, or where it comes from. Most people think they know, but truly all we have are beliefs if we’re religious or theories if we’re scientific. Me? I’m trying just to be, to live, and to take my life with gratitude.

Laughter. Laughter is another of those things we take for granted, probably because laughter is a spontaneous reaction. If something is funny, we laugh. If we’re enjoying ourselves, we laugh. We seldom laugh when we are alone, which is too bad. Among other things, laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, increases memory, improves alertness and boosts creativity. Apparently, though, voluntary laughter (faked laughter) has just as many benefits, so perhaps someday (when no one is around to hear) I will learn to laugh alone. Meantime, I will take any laughter I can get with gratitude.

Light. Light is probably the thing we take most for granted. Electric light, firelight, starlight, sunlight, moonlight, ambient light, spectrum of light (color). Light just is. Today (and every day) I will take light for gratitude, and be grateful I can see the many colorful effects of light.

Learning. We are creatures with immense potential for learning, yet we so often take that ability for granted. Learning comes naturally, whether it’s learning song lyrics or how to use a new device. We just take for granted that with a bit of focus, we will learn. It’s almost inconceivable for us not to learn. So I will learn to take this ability for gratitude.

Love. There are so many kinds of love — romantic love, self-love, and motherly love; love of books, music, art; joie de vivre; friendship — that it’s hard not to take at least some form of love for granted. Today, and all days, I will take the love that comes my way with gratitude.

So, what “L” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.

Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, grateful for life, grateful for light, grateful for love, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “K” Things With Gratitude

November 15, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the eleventh day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “K” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Kindness. We are all kinder than we think we are, though often that kindness is offhand since we become too distracted by the demands of our lives to focus on others. I was fortunate to find much kindness online after the death of my life mate/soul mate. Because I blogged about the maelstrom of emotions we call grief, trying to make sense of what I was going through, I met others who were dealing with the same process. The kindness of these strangers, these women I’ve never met, gave me the courage to embrace the agony of losing my mate, to face it head on, arms open wide. They gave me hope when it seemed I’d never move past the agony of loss, helped me make sense of the senselessness of death (or at least to accept it). They opened their hearts to me. I never took their kindness for granted — I appreciated every word of support — I’ve even expressed my appreciation, but today I want to make it official that I am not taking kindness for granted, but am taking it for gratitude.

Kindred spirits: Those women (and a few men) who offered support in my grief were kindred spirits, walking the same path I did, feeling the same losses, honoring our dead with our sorrow. I am very grateful to these kindred spirits and to the authors (kindred spirits indeed!) who have enriched my life with their words.

Knowledge. We are all knowledgeable in many ways, though we often take this knowledge for granted. We know how to walk, yet only a few of us ever remember the laborious process of learning first how to crawl and then how to stand on our own two feet. I am not one of those who remember, so I tend to take this basic knowledge for granted, as I do most of what I know. I know how to read and write, to add and subtract, to talk and listen. I know how it feels to dance and to grieve, to love and to laugh. I know even more esoteric things, such as mythology, secret histories, quantum mechanics (well, not a lot, just the basics, which I learned for the fun of it). I am always seeking more knowledge in my quest for wisdom, so I tend to take for granted what I have already learned. But today, I will take my knowledge for gratitude.

Kilter. For the most part, contrary to popular belief and Murphy’s law, things are generally in order and remain there until entropy enters the picture. A friend of mine signs her emails, “The universe is unfolding as it should.” If this is true, then things are, by definition, in kilter. (Speaking of knowledge, we can’t always take for granted that the “knowledge” we come across is true. For example, if you Google “kilter,” the first definition you will find is: out of harmony or balance. This is, in fact, the definition of “out of kilter.” “Kilter” means in order or in balance.)

Knobs. I take knobs for granted, but they sure do make it easier to open cabinets and drawers, so today, I will take knobs for gratitude.

So, what “K” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, kilter, kindness of strangers, kindred spirits, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “J” Things With Gratitude

November 14, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the tenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “J” things. Well, one “J” thing.

I am especially grateful for:

100_1807a Jeff. Although I never took Jeff — my life mate/soul mate — for granted, somehow I always took for granted that we’d be together. Even while he was dying, I took for granted that such was the way things always would be — he dying, me struggling to live. And even at the end, I took for granted that somehow he’d still be in my life, as if he would be in another room, perhaps. After he took his last breath, I was stunned by the absolute feeling of “goneness” I felt. It wasn’t as if he were in another room. It was as if an immense crater had been dug out of my life, my heart, my soul, leaving behind . . . nothing.

Even though I don’t feel him in my life any more, even though I can barely remember what our shared life was like, I always take him for gratitude. I am grateful I knew him, grateful (and honored) that he shared his life and death with me, grateful I once was so connected to another human being that his death left a hole in my life that will never be filled. I am grateful for every shared smile, every hug, every act of caring. I am grateful I found someone who understood me and knew what I meant when I spoke.

I am grateful for our electric conversations that lasted hours, days, a lifetime. We didn’t try to convince the other of our position — we each brought truth and thought to the conversation, and together we created a greater reality. There was no reason to argue — it was never about his opinion versus mine. It was about the truth — the truth as far as we could reconstruct it together. And oh, I am so grateful for that truth!

I am grateful for the time he spent with me. I am grateful for the movies we watched together, the books we shared, the ideas we developed, the businesses we created. I am grateful he stayed with me as long as possible, long enough to say everything that needed to be said.

I am grateful he set me free. I might have had to spend the rest of my years caring for a helpless invalid, but he left my life as quickly and as gracefully as he entered — between one heartbeat and the next.

I am even grateful he set me on my current path. He once told me it bothered him that because of his illness and our constrained lives, I’d lost the spontaneity I once had (ironically, that spontaneity had come from the security his presence engendered in me). I am now trying to get back that spontaneity, and will spend the rest of my life as untethered as possible.

I am grateful I once was loved. I am grateful I loved.

I am grateful that Jeff was such a major part of my life.

So, what “J” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Taking “I” Things With Gratitude

November 13, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the ninth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “I” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Intangibles. The intangible things of life — those things we cannot touch or feel or own — make life worth living. Intangibles such as honor and hope, friendship and kindness, knowledge and perception. We often take these intangible things for granted, so today, I am taking them for gratitude, offering up thanks for all the wonderful intangibles that enrich our lives.

Integrity. We often hear that people have no honor or integrity, that we can’t trust anyone, and yet the truth is, most of us do have integrity. Barbara Killinger defined iintegrity as “a personal choice, an uncompromising and predictably consistent commitment to honour moral, ethical, spiritual and artistic values and principles.” I have made such a choice, and so have most people. So today, I have the integrity to say I am taking integrity for gratitude.

Indulgence. Too much indulgence can be a bad thing, making us fat and sick and miserable and integrity-less, but being able to indulge ourselves is something to be grateful for.

Inquisitiveness. I have an inquisitive nature, an insatiable thirst for truth. I often take this inquisitiveness for granted, but it has led me to awesome truths and glorious insights. (Insights is another I word for which to be grateful!) So today I will take my inquisitiveness for gratitude.

So, what “I” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, healing, inquisitiveness, intangible things, integrity, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “H” Things With Gratitude

November 12, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the eighth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “H” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Heart. All kinds of heart. The compassion, tenderness, and forgiveness we feel for others. The spirit, bravery, and desire that help us overcome unfavorable odds. The essence of us as humans. The muscle that keeps blood flowing through our veins and arteries. The symbol — so simple and elegant, even a child can draw it. We take all of these sorts of heart for granted, and yet they are all things to be taken with gratitude.

Healing. We often take healing for granted, which makes sense since the healing processes of body, mind, and soul all take place out of sight. And yet, for most of us, those healing processes work even when we aren’t aware of them, keeping our bodies well, putting things right when we get sick, helping to mend our grief-stricken hearts. This is something to be grateful for.

Hope. Even when it feels as if we have no hope, generally, we still have the hope of a new day, better times, someone or something to love.

High places. Seeing the world from high places — lofty peaks, tall buildings, towers, Ferris wheels — puts our lives in perspective and gives us a feeling of expansiveness as if nothing can go wrong in a world with such wonderful and far-sighted views.

H. Even the letter H itself is a something to be grateful for — it’s very shape is like the first step of a ladder, the ladder to healing, hope, and high places.

So, what “H” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, healing, heart, high places, hope, take things with gratitude. 3 Comments »

Taking “G” Things With Gratitude

November 11, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the seventh day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “G” things.

I am especially grateful for grief and the gifts that grief brings.

Grief seems a strange thing for which to be grateful, but I am truly grateful that I experienced such deep grief after the death of my life mate/soul mate. He was a special man, someone who knew how to appreciate even the littlest thing, and I am grateful I was able to show the world how much he would be missed by writing about the grief he left behind. My grief was a way of appreciating him, honoring him, proving that even though he lived a private life, his life had worth to others.

I am grateful, of course, that the pain is gone, leaving only an underlying sorrow, but more than that, I am grateful for all I learned from the process. I have been able to sense the workings of my lizard brain — my body’s mind as opposed to “my” mind. I have experienced the miracle of body memory, where my body remembers a special date and mourns it even though I had forgotten it. I have learned patience, have experienced the incredible mystery of life, have touched eternity. Because the pain of grief over his death was so profound that I never even knew there could be such pain, I have come to realize that there is way more to us than we ever imagined. As Marianne Williamson wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Grief has also taught me to be grateful for life’s gifts — the friendships that sail into our life, the mystical moments and connections, the chance to experience the world through our senses, the capacity for appreciation, the ability to think and the power to feel thoughts too deep to put into words.

So, what “G” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Taking “F” Things With Gratitude

November 10, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the sixth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “F” things.

Even though we often take family and friends for granted, we do stop occasionally to take them for gratitude, so I am not adding them to this list. I’m more interested in giving thanks for things I’ve never stopped to think about before.

I am especially grateful for:

Fingers: I remember the first time I realized my now deceased life mate/soul mate was as interested in me as I was in him. I was in his health food store, and while he was handing me a bottle of vitamin A, our fingers happened to touch. I can still feel the glow from that touch today. Fingers aren’t just a way of connecting with others, but are a way of connecting to the world — through the touch of a petal, the touch of a thorn — but are also a way of connecting to ourselves through the things we create — art, meals, a home.

Feet: Feet keep us connected to this earth. Feet allow us to walk, to move, to dance. Feet are a miracle in and of themselves. Each foot contains 26 bones, and those 52 bones makes up about 25% of the total bones in our bodies. Each foot also contains 33 joints, 107 ligaments, 19 muscles and tendons. A true miracle, and something to take for gratitude with every step.

Fate: Whether or not one believes in fate, certain times in our lives do feel fated. In my case, I walked into a health food store one Saturday morning, and there I met the man I would spend the next 34 years with. He died early one Saturday morning, (just after midnight Friday night). That seems fated, too. To come into my life and leave it on the same day of the week.

Failure. I don’t take ever failure for granted, but I never stop to give thanks for the failures that have taught me valuable lessons, such as to pick myself up and try even harder.

Feasts: We so often take feasts for granted, but this month especially, I will be taking feasts for gratitude. I might not be having a Thanksgiving feast, but when we are alive, any meal is truly a feast.

So, what “F” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Taking “E” Things With Gratitude

November 9, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the fifth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “E” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Ears. Ears to hear music, laughter, the voices of loved ones. Earlobes from which to dangle beautiful earrings.

Energy. Even when we feel as if we have no energy, we have enough energy to keep our bodies working. And the days when we do feel as if we have energy to spare — what a joy! And despite all the problems that the various sources of energy to keep our houses and cities alive, we still do have energy enough to drive to where we need to go, to warm our homes in the winter and cool them in the summer, energy enough to light the darkness. So, today I will not take energy for granted, but will give thanks for all the energy that comes my way.

Entertainment and enjoyment. We have come a long way from the days when we humans had to provide our own entertainment, whether telling stories around a community fire, dancing in a neighbor’s barn, or playing musical instruments in a parlor. Now we have instant entertainment, ready for our enjoyment at any time.

Eyes. Eyes to see light and beautiful sites, to see smiling faces, to read print on a page or a reading device.

Eyeglasses. I am especially grateful for eyeglasses, though I tend to take them for granted since they have been perched on my nose (or rather sliding down my nose) since I was ten. Without eyeglasses, I see lights as sparkling gems with halos of brightness, but they are about the only thing I can see better without glasses, so I today I will take my eyeglasses with so very much gratitude.

So, what “E” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Taking “D” Things With Gratitude

November 8, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the fourth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “D” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Deserts and dessert and the discernment to know the difference.

The desire and determination, the dedication and daring to go after our dreams.

Dawn and daylight, dusk and dazzling sunsets.

Dear and darling and other doting endearments.

Discussions, deliberation, the ability to defend our ideas.

And dancing, of course.

So, what “D” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Taking “C” Things With Gratitude

November 7, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the third day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “C” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Caring. We are frequently told and so believe that ours in an uncaring society, but the truth is, most of us care. We care about others, we care for them, we take care of them. We care about this world and we care about the creatures that share it with us. There’s a whole lot of caring going on! Today I will be care-full not to take all that caring for granted, but will take it with gratitude.

Cash. In this world of credit and debit, we still have the ability to make simple and anonymous purchases with cash. We can count it without complicated computations, we can tuck it away for an emergency, or we can put it in an envelope and hand it to someone we care about. Although we are headed for a cashless society, I am grateful that we still have a choice.

Choice. So often, it seems as if life tosses us about, and that we don’t have much choice about what we do, who we are, and what happens to us, but there are always choices. To a great extent, we can choose what to eat and when and where. If our job doesn’t suit (or we were laid off) we have the choice of searching for a better job. Even when things don’t work out for us, such as not being able to find a job, we still have the choice of how to deal with the trauma. Having choices is something I choose to be grateful for.

Comfort. In a choice between fashion or comfort, I always choose comfort. No high heels or constricting clothes for me! (Clothes — another “C” to be grateful for!) So, today I will be grateful for all the comforts of home — comfortable clothing, comfortable furniture, comfortable food, comfortable temperatures.

Comforters. Quilts and other comforters make sleeping a pleasure. Friends and other comforters — those who listen to our woes and give us a shoulder to cry on — make life a pleasure. Thank you to all those who have offered comfort during these past years. I never took you for granted, but appreciated your every word.

So, what “C” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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