Write Intelligently Until You Become a Bestselling Author

October 27, 2007 — Pat Bertram

I’ve been reading the novels of a bestselling author, trying to figure out the secret of her success, and for the life of me, I don’t see it. Perhaps it’s hidden beneath her appalling writing style, but most times her poor writing dims any possibility of my enlightenment.

Even a neophyte writer knows that any action a character undertakes must be motivated. Although in life we often act on a whim or a hunch, when a character in a novel does it, it comes across as too slick, too much author convenience, as if the writer couldn’t be bothered to take the time to come up with a plausible motive for the action.

For example, in one book, the writer has someone searching the character’s house for a set of papers, which weren’t there because the character had removed them on a hunch. You and I could never get away with that! We’d have to come up with a motive, and it’s not that difficult. The character could have taken the papers to a diner to peruse them during lunch. Or maybe taken them to a safe deposit box. Or any reason other than a hunch.

Even worse, when the character found out her house had been searched, she was stunned. Then why the hunch to remove the papers? Maybe she was expecting rats to eat them.

In a roundabout way, I suppose I did learn something: write intelligently.

At least until one becomes a bestselling author.

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The Most Important Writing Technique to Master in your Quest for Publication

October 22, 2007 — Pat Bertram

The most important thing you will write is your endorsement on the back of a royalty check, but that is not a technique you have to master. You have probably envisioned it a hundred times.

Then what technique is important? Well, for starters, you have to master the technique of storytelling, but that does you no good if the editor doesn’t read beyond the first five pages. So you have to master the art of creating interest and interesting characters in your first pages, but a busy editor might not give you that much of her time if you haven’t hooked her in the initial paragraph. Mastering the art of the hook, then, is crucially important, but it is not the most important technique to master.

If you’ve read any books on how to get published, I’m sure you know by now where I’m headed. Not to the title, which is relatively unimportant; the publicity department will change it anyway. And not to the synopsis, though that is very important since it would be introducing your story.

All that’s left is the query letter, which is definitely the most important technique to master on your quest for publication. If you don’t create interest for your book in your letter, no one will read your synopsis, won’t read your initial paragraph, won’t read your first five pages, and won’t even look at the rest of your manuscript. And there will be no royalty check to sign.

Although I’d read over and over again about how important it was to master the art of writing a query letter, it didn’t strike home until several months ago when I was shredding all the rejection letters I’d received. I was feeling down, thinking my dream of getting published was never going to be realized, when it occurred to me that my manuscript had never been rejected. No one had even seen it. All that had been rejected was my query letter.

I can’t tell you how to write a winning query letter, because if I knew how, I would already be signing checks, but I do know there is only one way to master any technique. Practice. Practice. Practice.

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Kill your darlings

September 30, 2007 — Pat Bertram

Our darlings are all those bits that we hate to part with. We think they add to the story, but in reality all they do is slow it down. In my novel, More Deaths Than One, I had my hero Bob going to a Vietnam Vet support group and listening in, but I had to kill the discussion because it served no purpose. So here, for you, I am unkilling it:

 

          Marvin’s voice rose in anger. “My kid came home from school the other day and told me we lost in Vietnam because the American military did not know jungle warfare.”

          “Horseshit,” Frank said. “We didn’t lose. We left.”

          “After winning every major battle,” Dolph added. “But, like Korea, it was not a war. We were only supposed to be there, a presence, until the people who make those kinds of decisions got what they wanted.”

          Gaston leaned forward. “Even if you Yanks didn’t know jungle warfare, we Australians did. We’re tough and well trained, and are some of the best jungle fighters in the world. Everyone seems to have forgotten we were in Vietnam, too. So were thirty thousand Canadians, though I’m not sure how much they knew about jungle warfare.”

          “But the South Koreans did,” Dolph said. “Man, those guys were really good at hand-to-hand combat. I’m glad they were on our side. So were the Chinese mercenaries, the Nungs, and they definitely knew jungle warfare. There were also some French soldiers who remained after France pulled out of the country.”

          “That’s beside the point. We Americans”—Frank pounded the air using his fist as a hammer—“know jungle warfare. What the hell do they think we were doing in World War Two? Much of that action took place in jungles—Burma, the Philippines, the South Pacific, to name a few. And the OSS was already in Vietnam back then, helping the Viet Minh fight the Japanese. While the OSS was teaching the Viet Minh modern warfare, the Viet Minh were teaching the OSS their way of fighting. So anyone who says we lost because we didn’t know jungle warfare is full of shit.”

          Marvin made balloons of his cheeks, then blew out the air. “I tried telling my kid that, but he wouldn’t believe me. I hate to think what other crap they’re teaching him.”

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