A story that whips you through scene after scene is as exhausting as a story that drags you through the intervals between scenes at an excruciatingly slow pace. An experienced storyteller knows when to ramp up the tension and when to slow it down, when to take away a reader’s breath and when to let the reader take a breather, when to run through the drama or wander through the background. This alternating of ups and downs, successes and failures, satisfactions and woes is as rhythmic as music and can be as compelling as a drumbeat.
A steady pace of ups and downs can lull a reader into a feeling of complacency, but a syncopated rhythm, with ups and downs coming at uneven intervals can create an underlying sense of unease that gets beneath a reader’s skin. Even a small shift in pace can have a dramatic impact by making a minor defeat seem catastrophic or making a big victory seemed doomed.
Humorous moments, especially in tense scenes, can create a change of pace, lightening the mood and causing the reader to be more shocked by subsequent horrendous events. Sex scenes can create a change of pace, either as a diversionary tactic or as a quiet time between hectic scenes. A sex scene can even be a fast-paced action scene to get the reader’s blood roiling. (What it can never be, incidentally, is a scene thrown in there just because you thought it was time for a sex scene. Such scenes need to be as germane and as necessary as a plot twist or a revelation. If the scene can be removed from the book without leaving a hole, it should be removed or rewritten.)
A change in rhythm can be subtle, such as a shift in the dynamics between two characters, a change in focus or mood, or simply a preparation for future conflicts. Or it can be as blatant as a murder. The rate of change in a story can affect the rhythm, too. A lot of changes coming rapidly, one right after the other, create a hectic pace. A few changes after intervals of stasis can make the pace seem slower, even bucolic.
How you present dialogue can change the pace. To speed up the pace you can use quick exchanges with few speaker tags. To slow the pace, use longer speeches and/or more detailed speaker tags.
This example from Light Bringer uses short speaker attributes:
Emery regarded Philip with narrowed eyes. “I always know when one of my students is in trouble. It’s time you told me what’s going on.”
“I was never one of your students.”
Emery waved away the remark. “Between the two of us we should be able to solve your predicament.”
“I’m not sure there is a solution. Right before I came here, two NSA agents came to my apartment.”
Emery shook his head as if to clear it. “I must have misunderstood. I thought I heard you say NSA agents.”
“I did. That’s who they identified themselves as, any-way. They told me they were concerned about the books I’ve been checking out of the library.”
Emery froze. “They said that?”
“Yes.” Philip paused to reconsider, then heaved a sigh. “No. They told me they wanted to speak to me. I suggested they were there because of the books I read.”
Emery scowled at him. “Have I taught you nothing? Never volunteer. If you don’t know what’s going on, keep your mouth shut until you find out.”
And this example from the same book uses longer speaker attributes which sets a more leisurely pace:
As the cowboy approached, she wondered why a man like him worked in a coffee shop instead of punching cows or whatever men like him usually did.
In a slow, deliberate voice that stopped short of being a drawl, he said, “What can I get for you?”
He ushered her to a table. “How about some pie to go with it? Or a muffin? Mabel from the bakery sent over a fresh batch of whole-wheat blueberry muffins.”
“A muffin sounds good.”
He loped around behind the counter. A minute later he returned and set a mug of coffee on the table along with a muffin almost as big as a cake.
“I don’t believe I’ve seen you here before,” he said.
Jane tore open a packet of sugar. “Just passing through.” She dumped the sugar in her coffee and stirred it. Thinking that, next to bars, her sister liked to hang around places like this to get local color, she considered asking the cowboy if he knew where she could find Georgy.
“Hey, Luke,” one of the old men called out. “Bring me a muffin, too.”
Jane sipped her coffee, grateful for the interruption. Georgy would never have forgiven her for inquiring about her, and there would go any hope of getting a loan.
“Holler if you need anything else,” the cowboy said, then ambled off.
These dialogue samples also show one of the contrasts in the book, the the fast-paced action/conspiracy story commingling with the slower-paced cowboy story. Then there were the ethereal characters contrasting with the down to earth ones. Lots of scope for pacing in Light Bringer!! (Which, incidentally, is on sale for $1.99 for the Kindle edition on Amazon until November 8, 2011.)
So, let’s talk about rhythm. Do you pay attention to the rhythm of your story? Do you use the rhythm to create a mood or a change of pace? How do you create the rhythm of your story? What devises do you use? Do you make sure that even your story’s quiet moments are necessary to the story? Do you use words or sentence structure to help create the rhythm? (Short words and sentences give the scene a feeling of speed and immediacy. Longer sentences and words create a more relaxed pace.)
November 4, 2011 at 5:27 am
I use long sentences to build intensity and climax with two or three consecutive short sentences. Very pointed sentences. Quick ones. I also break away from dialogue frequently and insert a quick piece of information to either add to the scene or build a character and then go back to dialogue. Good column!
November 5, 2011 at 5:11 am
I work in short snappy sentences for action sequences and longer sentences where the scene should be set in some detail.
November 6, 2011 at 6:14 pm
nicely exampled pacing demos, thanks!
i think that muffin big as a cake was my favorite line, though my wife says i always like muffins 😉
November 6, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Thanks, yogo-adan. Muffins do have a way of catching one’s attention. Perhaps it’s the humorous word as well as the delicious treat.
November 7, 2011 at 9:38 am
perhaps so 😉
November 10, 2011 at 5:00 pm
I’m typing up some of the stories I wrote many years ago (before I had a computer) and realizing how much I’ve learned, rhythm being one of the big things I’m noticing. I like your examples. You make it very easy to feel the difference.
November 10, 2011 at 9:59 pm
You are such a good writer, Sheila, I’m sure any story you wrote is either already excellent or you’ll edit into excellence.