Recently I’ve been thinking and blogging about my need for an adventure, such as walking up the Pacific coast, thru-hiking a national trail, or visiting all the national parks. Something life changing. Something truly epic.
I’ve never been a particularly adventuresome sort, but the waning of grief over the death of mate/soul mate has left me with a vast restlessness and a desire for expanding my boundaries, both personally and geographically. From the beginning (the beginning of my grief, that is), I’ve been determined not to waste his death, and somehow settling down somewhere and living a tame life seems a waste. I want to explore the wild woman within, find out what she is capable of, live a bolder life than I’ve always lived. (Well, bolder within certain parameters. I certainly have no interest in bold pursuits such as skydiving or jet skiing. Walking, one foot always solidly on the ground, is more my style.)
I don’t know if I will ever be able to follow the call of adventure — responsibilities and physical capabilities could be a deterrent. But the truth is, life itself is an adventure of epic proportions. From the moment we are born, we grow and learn, always trying to expand our reach. We love and hate, laugh and cry, connect with others and disconnect, dance, tell stories, wish upon a star, dream of things that never were. Some people have families and children that bring them sorrow and joy. Some people have wonderful careers that sustain them. Some people have otherworldly experiences that that comfort, challenge, terrify. Some people are lucky enough to fall deeply in love, and sometimes those same people fall deeply into grief. Such epic experiences!
Although I dream of a separate epic adventure within the adventure of life itself, I do try to see the epicness of each day and experience whatever life brings me. Sometimes I find myself in the mountains, in the desert, or by the coast. Sometimes I find myself offering support or accepting comfort. Sometimes I find myself at lunch with friends — and what a privilege that is! It’s amazing how the turns of life often bring people from all over the world to a single place for a while and then with another turn, disperses them.
I suppose even sitting here writing this is an epic adventure. The internet, which burst into life a mere 25 years ago, connects people in a way that even the vicissitudes of life haven’t managed. Break Time, the steampunk the anthology I’m putting together with authors from New Zealand, Australia, Canada, USA, could only be the product of the internet with all of us coming together (without ever meeting) for such a fascinating project.
Still, even though writing might satisfy some folks’ idea of adventure, right now the sun beckons me. I think I’ll go out for a walk and experience the epicness of life first hand.
Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Follow Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.
March 16, 2014 at 2:16 pm
thanks for your post Pat. I feel exactly the same way. All of those emotions, adventure, meeting new people, traveling…well you know the rest undoubtly. Without someone to bounce our thoughts on, we are alone in our minds. So, it’s good to read that someone else has much the same feelings and to know we are not alone. The sun beckons me as well, but no sun today or anyother day. Pacific NW is not known for it’s sunny days.. Soon this will change as I am moving back to Maui, where my heart is. Just a few more months to accomplish the settlement and my current endeavor of bodybuilding, embracing the national stage in July. My soul mate/husband was my greatest supporter, without him to cheer me on, it feels very unimportant. But it will be the grand finale, with a pro card as the reward! I am the oldest competitive bodybuilder on the Pacific NW coast at 72 year young!
Thanks for your post…it helps to know you are not the only one!
March 17, 2014 at 11:26 am
Wow, Rosie! You must be a champ already–are you ready to model for a new “old age is not for sissies” pic? I, like Pat, dream of long walks in wild, magical places. As a survivor of UC +surgery and carrying a skeleton load of arthritis from biking injuries, I’m just looking at 70, but keep going to the gym and doing the little I can do. At any rate, “a tip of the hat” to you, and how WONDERFUL to be heading to Maui to be close to Mother Ocean!
March 17, 2014 at 6:08 pm
Rosie, I am so impressed, not just by your dedication to your current endeavor, but your continuing on without a belief in its importance and without your staunchest supporter. You have my utter admiration. I will be sending you good wishes in July and hopes for eventual peace in Maui.
March 16, 2014 at 2:55 pm
I am meeting new people right now. I have been invited in to the world of amateur theatre of late. This is an adventure of sorts though I do want to travel. I hope to some day go on a dig in Egypt or England. There are parts of Australia where they are unearthing some unusual dinosaur skeletons. Meanwhile there is Break Time. It is another way of travelling to the past though a past most unusual.
March 17, 2014 at 6:10 pm
Such adventures! I hope you get realize all of your hopes. Meantime, there is amateur theatre for you — how wonderful!
March 17, 2014 at 11:22 am
Be sure to broadcast when this appears…we’d be far lonelier people, we writers–without the www!
March 17, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Try to stop me! 🙂