It feels as if I have lost control of my life, as if the winds of life — or change — are in the air, and bits of me are floating off into the ether.
I wish I could concoct a powerful witches brew and — poof. Everything would be fine.
Or that I knew a wizard who could cast a joyous spell.
I wish I were as strong as everyone thinks I am.
I wish I had money enough and time to give everyone what they need and make things right.
I wish . . . oh, so many things. But mostly, I guess, I hope I will eventually rise
out of the horror or my life into a new day.
***
Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.
July 9, 2014 at 6:39 pm
Don’t give up hope, Pat. As novelists, we have an infinite capacity to believe that through it all, good wins and evil is kept at bay for another day.
July 9, 2014 at 6:40 pm
Don’t let hope die, hope for and go after big things.
July 10, 2014 at 8:44 pm
Directorb and Rami, thank you. I still have hope. Just wish I could put things right for some other people in my life.
July 9, 2014 at 8:03 pm
There are moments when we fall in a heap Pat and wish either someone else would pick us up and carry us out of it or that we would fall asleep and wake when it is all better. Sending you all the love in the world Pat and recommend some intense self-nurturing…let the boys be men and care for themselves for a while. xx
July 10, 2014 at 8:40 pm
Both men are totally beyond caring for themselves. My brother has gone totally insane or insanely drunk and my father is just getting home from almost three weeks in the hospital. Luckily, my sister is here to help, and maybe I’ll be able to get away for a few days.
July 10, 2014 at 6:03 am
And I wish all those things for you, Pat.
July 10, 2014 at 8:41 pm
Thank you, Coco. Life does change corners at times. This is just a dark corner I’ve turned
.
July 10, 2014 at 7:47 am
A big hug and good energy from Toronto!
July 10, 2014 at 8:43 pm
Malene, thank you. I need all the hugs I can get.
July 10, 2014 at 8:54 am
Control is just an illusion – focus on writing where you have more control… 🙂
July 10, 2014 at 8:35 pm
Good idea!! Now if I can just escape my life enough to write . . .
July 10, 2014 at 9:33 pm
Hugs.
July 10, 2014 at 9:35 pm
Thank you.
July 11, 2014 at 2:20 am
Pat, I wish I could help. As you well know, nothing lasts forever. It will get better. Sending positive energy your way.
July 11, 2014 at 1:05 pm
Here’s a bit of Daoism for you. Maybe go to Tao street after you read this………..Sometimes thing just don’t make sense. I often wonder how much “control” we really do have. It seems like we do, but as soon as you look at the big pictures, everything’s intertwined. And at the tiny level, everything also is intertwined. How lovely we have been given the consciousness and egos to suffer the consequences without the means to intervene. I try to believe that the balance will be restored in its own time.