My Heavenly and Hellish Life

My life continues to be one extreme or the other, either heavenly or hellish without any in between.

For example, today a friend and I took a road trip to the beach for frozen bananas, which I’d never eaten. They were superb, a thousand times better than the deep-fried cheesecake we’d sampled on our last excursion. The day was a perfect blend of warm sun and cool sea breezes, and the ocean itself looked like photos I’ve seen of tropical waters — white surf and turquoise water. I was so mesmerized, it never occurred to me to take photos.

The day ended, as heavenly days always do, and I came back here to the house of hell. My brother immediately began harassing me, and although my father was asleep, I found that he’d checked my bookkeeping, misplaced household bills I need to pay, and left me indecipherable notes and meaningless messages. He has every right, of course, and I understand his need to be in control of everything in his life, but after a month of his leaving me to pay the bills, I felt as if he were treating me like a child who couldn’t be trusted to do her prescribed chores.

I escaped online as is my habit to find that my publisher has a new website, and all the thousands of buy links I have posted over the past few years for my books and for the other authors are now defunct. I am disheartened to say the least. Maybe my disheartenment is premature and during the next few days the links will be properly redirected. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Meantime, I’m thankful that I have dance classes tomorrow. No matter how bad things are, I can look forward to the joy of learning new dance steps. And so I will get through another day.


Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.

One Response to “My Heavenly and Hellish Life”

  1. rami ungar the writer Says:

    You should hide your bills and stuff in a place he can’t get to. That way your dad won’t mess with them.

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