Moving Energy Around

Certain theories of energy, particularly as pertains to the energy of the human body, state that moving energy around through mental visualization or other means can help or hinder a person. For example, upward moving energy puts us out of sorts — revving us up, screwing us up, making us uptight. Downward moving energy, on other the other hand, brings us down to earth, calms us down.

Ever since my sister came to help take care of our aging father, she has been insistent on moving energy around, not in us so much as in the house. To that end, she has lit candles, done a thorough cleaning (including windows!), rearranged things, even rearranged lives. (It’s her efforts that got my dysfunctional brother packed and in the car so I could drive him back to Colorado.) Lately I’ve been sweeping out my past, and she is encouraging me, saying that I’m moving energy around.

I don’t know what, if anything, this movement of energy means or if in fact it is making a difference in any significant way, but it is helping me break ties to some of my “things.” I don’t own much, and what I do own is of little value, but I have a special connection to things I have made, to things my deceased life mate/soul mate appreciated, to pretty boxes and bows. I’ve gotten rid of much of the unnecessary things of his and my shared life, but I’ve kept many things just because someday I might like to have them, but now with my sister’s insistence on moving energy around, I’m finding myself getting rid of things I’d always planned to keep. The things simply no longer seem important. (I wonder if I’m going too far and will later regret getting rid of so much, but the truth is, whatever I keep will have to be stored or moved multiple times since I won’t have a permanent place to live.)

One thing I haven’t gotten rid of yet is his ashes, though they too no longer seem important.

I never had any plans to keep his ashes, but a minister friend once cautioned against getting rid of them all. Apparently, people come to regret such a move. Since I didn’t like the idea of opening the box and separating out a bit of him, and since I couldn’t bring myself to throw him away, I’ve simply kept the box intact. But now I think I should be moving the energy around. It’s not his energy in that box/urn, of course — he’s been gone for almost four and a half years. It’s not my energy either, as far as I know. I don’t have much emotion invested his remains anymore, don’t even really think about them, but they are always present.

Right after his death, getting rid of those “cremains” would have broken what was left of my heart because they were all I had left of him. But they are not him. I know he wouldn’t have wanted me to keep them. Well, for that matter, I don’t particularly want to keep them, either, but whenever I’ve considered getting rid of them, the thought assumed such importance that I felt better off leaving them where they are.

I can see the time is coming to move that energy around, to throw out what is, in essence, inorganic matter without any particular meaning. Strangely, I’m even beginning to feel uneasy having his cremains around, as if I’m holding onto a desiccated corpse.

I wish he were here, wish I could talk to him, wish I could show him the things I made or wrote and see his slow sweet smile of appreciation, wish I could go home to him. But none of that will ever happen. So even though I know he would not like my tossing out so much of what I have made, I remind myself he no longer has a say in my life, and I keep moving energy around.


Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.

6 Responses to “Moving Energy Around”

  1. Wanda Says:

    Moving energy around…. sounds like your dance classes to me. Maybe it’s the Dance of Life to take in possessions and then get rid of those possessions.

    I’ve always said, (mostly as a wry joke) that I know the secret of life: To move stuff from one place to another….then to move it from that place to yet another place. To gather stuff so that we have more to move, etc.

    I think this is good. Your sister has the right idea, move that energy. Whether it is the things you own or your own hips….. got to keep it moving.


    • Pat Bertram Says:

      I think that’s why dancing is so powerful, all that energy moving around. And choreographed dances in a group are especially powerful because everyone is dancing as one, and the energy is all being focused in particular patterns rather than everyone dancing however they wish, and moving the energy haphazardly.

      Yep, gotta keep moving!

  2. Paula Kaye Says:

    I have been wondering how long it will take until I feel that I can get rid of my husband’s ashes. He wanted to be taken to Colorado to be scattered but I can’t yet find my way to part with them

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      Since you didn’t do it yet, you might not be able to do for three to five years. Don’t worry about taking too long. Wherever he is, there is no time, so five years is no longer than five months.

  3. Ree` Edwards Says:

    Hi Pat,
    Well, I just have to add my ‘two cents’ (as if it matters) to this particular blog…
    My personal opinion on letting go of things is this, YOU do it when YOU are ready. Not before, not after, not when someone tells you “It’s time to let go of the past”, and on and on.
    YOU and only YOU have to make that decision… and that is when YOU are ready. Not when someone, however well intentioned their meaning tells you, ” It’s time.” Why? It is YOU who will suffer with the regret of letting something go before YOU were ready — not them. I know of what I speak and fortunately I was able to reverse that decision and how grateful I was!
    Personally? I’d rather wait and do something, until I KNOW for a certainty, that down deep in MY heart, I’M ready.
    Yes, I still have my husbands and sons ashes — and for good reason. When it’s ‘my time’ I’m not planning on having a funeral. Nor a memorial, or anything else of the nature. Funerals are ‘for those left behind’ and a total waste of money as far as I’m concerned. (Yes, I had funeral’s for both my son and husband. That was when there were others that were very close and that loved and cared for them, and me.)
    I have been blessed with a wonderful, loving, kind and considerate younger brother (& sis-in love) who happen to have Power of Attorney over every ‘earthly’ possession I have, (Which at this point in time is not a whole lot, but does include a house, (with a mortgage on it) an older problematic car (I let a sister talk me into getting after my hubby’s demise and that is going to my one and only grandchild/son, Lord help him!) some furniture (that isn’t worth much) and things that belonged to my son that I am now ready to ‘let go’ by giving to the Salvation Army. And only because I AM ready.
    I have left instructions for my earthly remains to be picked up at wherever I may be and taken straight to the crematory, through a funeral director I’ve known for years, and my ashes returned to my brother.. I have also instructed him put ALL of our ashes together and he is to offer those ashes to my ‘for a very long time now’ estranged daughter. If per chance she doesn’t want them? I told them they make great fertilizer, (so I’ve been told) and to spread them in their beautiful flower beds or vegetable garden. We’re not there anyway…
    Many blessings my dear,

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      It sounds to me as if you have a good handle on things, which is good. I used to worry about you. As for me, there’s not going to be anyone to do after death duties for me such as mixing our ashes together, so anything I want disposed of in a particular fashion, I’ll have to do my self beforehand. It feels good to be getting rid of much of the old life. He’s gone. No point in hanging on to a dream.

      Blessings to you, too.

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