Cleaning Off My Desk

I’m cleaning off my desk, sorting through the accumulation of the past few years in preparation for my eventual move, and I came across a stack of notes I’ve been saving. I’m not sure what I’ve been saving them for since I haven’t looked at most of them in more than a year, and in many cases have no idea why I have the notes.

For example, I have several snippets of paper with on them, and one for fundRazer. Apparently at one time I considered crowd funding, but have no idea what I was planning on funding. And one for this fascinating website:

I found a note to myself: If it isn’t important, make it important. I have a tendency to discount things that aren’t important, and since there’s not much that is important, I end up with nothing. And I want to/need to end up with something. It’s a good reminder, but doesn’t do me much good if I never look at the note.

One paper simply says embrac100_1046sme/remembrance. Apparently I was struck by the similarity of these words, and intended to write a blog post about them, but whatever I planned to say is lost in the far recesses of my magpie mind.

I have a more recent note for bardo/vardo. Within a couple of days, I heard both words, and considered doing a blog post about them, but couldn’t find a way to connect the two since their meanings are so disparate. Wikipedia says the term “bardo” refers to the state of existence intermediate between two lives on earth. According to Tibetan tradition, after death and before one’s next birth, when one’s consciousness is not connected with a physical body, one experiences a variety of phenomena. These usually follow a particular sequence of degeneration from, just after death, the clearest experiences of reality of which one is spiritually capable, and then proceeding to terrifying hallucinations that arise from the impulses of one’s previous unskillful actions. For the prepared and appropriately trained individuals the bardo offers a state of great opportunity for liberation, since transcendental insight may arise with the direct experience of reality, while for others it can become a place of danger as the karmically created hallucinations can impel one into a less than desirable rebirth. Yikes. Vardo is much more pleasant — it’s one of those lovely and colorful gypsy wagons. Maybe one can use a vardo to escape bardo.

I found a list of typos I’ve made that sounded interesting, perhaps to use for a character who makes up her own words. Wrod, swampled, fits like a glow, friendshop, wold (for some reason, every time I try to type wolf, it ends up as wold), fung, Zmas (instead of Xmas)

A couple of notes about characters — figure out what they regret and what they are proud of. Also, what do they win by losing and what do they lose by winning.

This little ditty to promote Rubicon Ranch: Riley’s Story, that I never used:
In the desert
The quiet desert
A killer lurks tonight.
In the desert
The quiet desert,
Riley dies tonight.
In the village,
The peaceful village,
No one sleeps tonight.

And quotes:

Life is a myth we tell ourselves.

Everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

Be like thunder — be dangerous and unpredictable and make a lot of noise.

Surprise yourself. Don’t assume you know everything there is to know about your life.

You are a splendid butterfly. It is your wings that make you beautiful. And I could make you fly away, but I could never make you stay.

And finally, just these words on a paper The Symphony of a Life Gone By. That was the title of a blog post I wrote three years ago that I’d forgotten about, and when I came across it by chance, I was so struck by the post’s beauty that I wanted to remember it.

Well, now that I’ve made a note of these notes, I can just as easily not read them on this blog as I could on the scraps of paper.


Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light BringerMore Deaths Than OneA Spark of Heavenly Fireand Daughter Am IBertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.

4 Responses to “Cleaning Off My Desk”

  1. Juliet Waldron Says:

    Let your little light go on shining, Pat. We all have at least one great book inside us–the story of our own lives.

  2. Wanda Says:

    There’s a lot of charm in this collection of the flotsam drifting through your mind. I especially like the typos you kept. I do the same sort of thing with ‘important’ little thoughts that I don’t want to forget. I suppose a small binder or diary would be better. At least they would always be at hand. You’ve inspired me to make notes of my typos…but then you’ve inspired me often and as I’ve told you before, you’re one of my personal heroes. Hugs to you girl. Hope we can meet up in person one day.

  3. Constance Koch Says:

    I like “A killer lurks tonight”. And, “No one sleeps here tonight”. They seem to go together for me.
    I have notes in organized piles. Different types than yours. But, still ends up the same way.

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