I’ve been managing a blog for an online company on a voluntary basis, and all of a sudden today, things erupted in a mess. One person posted a bloggerie with a bit of eroticism that offended another blogger. Eroticism is inappropriate in a g-rated blog, but somehow, before I ever got wind of the contretemps to fix matters, the whole thing was blown out of proportion, and one of the parties involved quit. Now I feel heartsick and wonder what the heck I’m doing getting involved in such a situation.

Even before this happened, I’d grown tired of the online world and wanted a break from the internet, so I was going to accept the offer of a place to stay next month where there is no internet. As it turns out, before I could accept, I was disinvited. It was a strange deal — the rainwoman needed someone to fix meals for her for six weeks, look after her dog two or three weekends, and drive her when necessary. All in return for a small wireless-less room. That would have been okay, but she wanted me to sign a contract saying, I think, that I would work so many hours and then be out of her house by a certain date. (Apparently, she was afraid I wouldn’t leave, though she should have been more worried I wouldn’t stay in such cramped quarters.) Since I wouldn’t sign a contract (it seemed as if I were doing more of a favor for her considering what she wanted me to do in exchange for a place to stay and I don’t think favors should be contracted) she disinvited me.

Not a problem. Now that I have my car back, I can stay at a motel if I can’t find a room to rent, but my willingness to be without the internet did point out to me how disenchanted I am (at the moment, anyway) with online life.

To tell the truth, I’m disenchanted with offline life, too. Not sure why. Just going through a phase, I guess.

I do know I need an adventure, something fun, but for now, the rains are mostly keeping me inside. Roads out of the high desert were closed for a while due to cars trapped in mudslides, and that has made me wonder about the wisdom of my winter trip. Admittedly, I will be hanging south, away from the worst of winter’s work, but the forecasts are for cold and copious precipitation even in normally moderate climates. Still, I am planning the trip, planning to camp even in inclement weather (making sure to bring enough food, water, warm clothing and quilts for any emergency), though who knows if the weather will permit such an excursion. Adventure is one thing, foolishness another.

Meanwhile . . .

One day at a time.


(Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.”)

3 Responses to “Disenchantment”

  1. Cicy Rosado Says:

    good thinking Girl

  2. pamkirst2014 Says:

    Odd how discombobulation seems to bubble up in unrelated areas! I hope the travel brings clarity, joy, renewal…

  3. LordBeariOfBow Says:

    Sounds like she wanted an unpaid slave, you’re better off without people like that woman. I’m thinking that the Internet is an insidious invention/development to drive people crazy; there are times I’d just like to pick my computer up and hurl it through a window

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