Something momentous happened today, yet it seemed so insignificant and tedious that the momentousness all but passed unnoticed.
Years ago, right after Jeff died, I opened a new bank account in my name only. At the time, the woman who helped me suggested I keep the old account open a few more weeks in case there were outstanding bills.
But the weeks passed, and so did any desire to close the account. I liked that this bit remained from our shared life. Eventually, I had to take his name off the account, but I kept using the checks with both our names. (You can tell how few checks I write — I still have a bunch of those original checks.) I used the account as a savings account (for when I had savings) because it wasn’t attached to a debit card, so it seemed as if my savings were safer.
During all the years in California, I kept the same accounts. I knew I’d eventually return to Colorado, so it didn’t seem important to find a bank in a state I felt stuck in — I was there because of dance classes and my dance teacher, but mostly because I couldn’t find a way out.
Well, I did find a way out, and I did return to Colorado.
I opened accounts where I’ve planted myself (one for general use, one low balance account to connect to PayPal so that if there is ever a problem, my risk would be minimal). And oh, my! How convenient it is to have a bank located a thousand feet away rather than a thousand miles! But now I had little money and four bank accounts. I felt a bit silly keeping all those accounts and thought occasionally about closing the old ones, but considering auomatic deposits and withdrawals, it was easier to think about than to actually do.
Well, the old bank — Jeff’s and my bank — merged with another, and my online statements disappeared. (I’d just received a letter from them telling me to download the records, but by the time I got the notification, the merger had been done and the records beyond my reach.)
In the end, it became easier to close the old accounts than to deal with the merged bank.
And so, just like that, one of the last remaining paper connections to Jeff disappeared.
A momentous occasion, for sure.
Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.