It All Matters

Some people take exception to the things I blog about, whether apples or tea, grief or gardening, writing or planning murder mystery games for local fundraisers. But whatever blog theme I choose to develop, it’s all life, and life matters.

Life can’t consist solely of immense and intense moments, such as love, dying, grief. Life is what we do and how we feel on a daily basis. Life is what we find important enough to disclose. Life is deadly serious, but it is also whim and whimsey — fanciful impulses and ideas. And life is, for a writer, a constant source of blog topics.

It’s a challenge for me to blog every day. Once, everything that happened to me was important — the death of my soulmate made it so. But now the only things that are important are the things I choose to spend my time on — making a home for myself, developing friendships, seeing beauty in the arid earth around me (rather than going in search of more majestic scenery).

When it comes time to blog, I think about something I did or thought or learned that day, and I try to show why it’s important to me, why you might want to know about it. Most people don’t want to know and don’t care, and that’s okay.

Because I care.

I care enough to choose my words carefully, to try to interject a bit of wit or whimsey when appropriate. I care enough to treat each blog with respect even if the topic borders on the inane.

I care because it’s life, and everything that makes up our lives is important for no other reason than because it is our life.

I’ve always wanted to live a life that matters, to do something significant, to learn something vital, to see beyond the trivial to something cosmic, but I’ve come to realize that it is not us that makes life matter; it is life that makes us matter (both literally and figuratively).

When I was dealing with the most angst-ridded part of my grief — learning to live without the one person who made my life worth living — I took heart from the words posted on the blog “Leesis Ponders”:

Life matters.
The search for self that blends into all matters.
The way we act towards others matters.

It’s taken me a long time to truly believe her words, but now I know. Life does matter. Whatever is important to us at any given moment — life, death, grief, growth, homes, writing, apples, tea, the significant experiences and the insignificant concerns — it all matters. It’s all worth blogging about.

***

Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.

13 Responses to “It All Matters”

  1. Sam Sattler Says:

    I don’t comment on every single one of your blog posts, especially during this 100-straight-days challenge, but I enjoy them all and check in every day to see what you’ve been up to. It’s fun, and I enjoy the variety of topics.

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      It’s so nice to know that someone reads my posts! Thank you. I miss your puzzle posts. Do you still keep up your puzzle blog? i can’t find it. I miss your posts on FB.

      • Sam Sattler Says:

        Pat, I gave up the puzzle blog when my eyes got too bad for me to complete the puzzles in a reasonable amount of time. I’ve now had both eye corrected via surgery, but I must have gotten out of the habit of puzzling because I don’t feel motivated at the moment to return to the hobby. I started reading more before the surgery because I could use my e-book readers to expand the font so easily. And then after the surgery, I was so excited about being able to see so well that I started reading more than ever. I guess there aren’t enough hours in the day anymore to do everything I want to do – not a bad problem to have at my age.

        • Pat Bertram Says:

          So great about your being able to see well! Although reading had always been my life, I had to stop after Jeff died, but now that I’m in a different place now, both literally and figuratively, and now that a library is close, I’m back to reading, too, though unlike you, I don’t keep track of the books I read. Most aren’t worth more than the few hours it takes to go through them.

  2. Auntysocial Says:

    Intrigued to know how anyone can take exception to what you blog about but then not enough it’s worth your time or effort explaining. Write about whatever you feel like writing and whenever it suits. Doesn’t need to be anything in particular nor follow a theme and you certainly don’t need to keep anyone happy.

    It’s for you to write and us to enjoy reading so crack on as you were 🙂

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      Sometimes, I think that grievers who come here look for more current posts about grief, and my more inane posts seem out of place. Thank you so much for your vote of confidence!

      • Auntysocial Says:

        Well in the nicest way if they’re coming to your blog to read posts about grief to help them – it’s kind of their own grief they need to deal with or find a way to deal with and not need you to offer a way forward.

        Besides I’m almost certain the little things that are seemingly inane, trivial almost too small to be worth a mention are the very things that help us all get through life whether we’re grieving or otherwise.

        None of your posts are in the least bit inane or out of place though don’t worry! 🙂

  3. Janet Says:

    Pat,
    I truly admire you for your adventurous spirit. It is truly not easy losing a soulmate and finding a new way of life. I feel that you can blog about whatever comes into your heart. It is what you feel and no one else. I find it very hard come this Thanksgiving, November 28th will mark five years since my husband’s passing. I am still yet trying to find myself. It is not easy I feel less that what I should feel. I often feel that I am not good enough, I always feel that something is missing. I wrote a poem, “What I Once Was”, what I once was I will never be, there is a void in my life. In the very beginning of my grief I use to feel that nothing really matters anymore but it does.
    Yes, I am thankful and grateful for so many blessings. Thank you for your courage and your uplifting words. I may not always comment but I do read your blog.

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      Something is missing and will always be missing, not just our loved one and the part our loved one played in our lives, but the person we were when we were with him. That’s gone, and it takes many years to find a new way of living that takes the void into consideration. (7 or 8 years for me.) It’s like a huge sinkhole in the middle of a sidewalk. You keep falling into it, and then you purposely sidle around it to keep from falling, and eventually you get to the point where the habit of going around the sinkhole is so strong that you barely recognize the presence of the hole. But it is always there. Thank you for your kind comments.

  4. It’s All Small Stuff | Bertram's Blog Says:

    […] post, “It All Matters” was not supposed to be so much an explanation of why I blog about the things I do but rather an […]

  5. snakesinthegrass2014 Says:

    I follow all kinds of bloggers, from vinyl records collectors, to gardeners, to retirement benefit nerds like myself. It’s all about variety because who wants to read about the same topics all the time? I always find your posts to be interesting, mostly because I’ve been a gypsy my entire adult life (living in all kinds of places). So I can identify with much of what you have to say, and the gift you have in getting it all across so eloquently. – Marty


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