When a friend told me about an upcoming move, she assured me she’d be setting up a GoFundMe account so that I could help pay her expenses. It stunned me not just that she would set up such an account, but that she would take it as a given that I would contribute, especially since she didn’t do a single thing to help me with my move.
For just a second (or perhaps two), I wondered if I were missing something here, perhaps an opportunity to get help paying for my garage. That bit of uncharacteristic greed passed quickly, and yet it made me wonder about a world that expects others to pick up the tab for things we choose to do. The friend chose to move. Though an increase in rent precipitated the move, she still chose to go. So why is that my problem?
Other people I know have set up accounts to help fund a book launch, wedding, and even a trip abroad, but again these things were a matter of choice: an expensive book launch rather than the do-it-yourself launch that most of us end up doing; an elaborate wedding rather than a more intimate affair; an overseas trip rather than something closer to home.
It’s not as if any of these things are life and death matters, where people need a helping hand. It’s not as if there weren’t cheaper options available.
In my case, a garage is not a life and death matter, though in the coming years, assuming I still have my car, it will feel like a lifesaver. It’s getting harder and harder to get the energy and desire to disrobe the car in order to drive. (Ever since I got my classic VW restored and painted, I’ve been taking special care of it, even to the point of using a car cover to protect it from the harsh sun and harsher winds.) A garage with an electronic garage door opener certainly would make things a lot easier, as well as give me a place to protect tools and equipment from thieving neighbors and passersby.
Even though my savings are limited, the garage is my responsibility. My choice. To expect others to pay for it seems not just greedy, but . . . crass.
How do people do that? Set up a public account as if they were a one-person charitable organization? (I know how it is done. I just don’t know how they make the mental leap to do it.)
I can see if someone really were in dire need, but even then, crowdfunding is not always the way to go unless some celebrity takes up your cause, you end up in the newspaper, or you have a lot of wealthy friends. (It’s no wonder that wealthy folk who set up crowdfunding accounts to help pay for catastrophic illnesses get way more than poorer folk who actually need the funds.)
But we’re not discussing calamity here. Just choice.
What’s the difference between crowdfunding and panhandling? None that I can see, except that in crowdfunding, the beggars are relatively well-to-do folks in that they at least have a computer, a good-looking presentation, and the skills to put it all together, and in panhandling, those with their hand stretched out, don’t.
But that’s just me. As I said, maybe I’m missing something here.
***
Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
Bertram's Blog 
January 13, 2020 at 6:25 pm
Couldn’t agree more. And I also hate the “invitations to donate” on FB as well.
January 13, 2020 at 7:50 pm
I hate those, too. I’ve unfriended people who do too much of that.
January 13, 2020 at 10:18 pm
I absolutely agree with this. Luckily mostly my friends have not taken to doing this but I would be disgusted if they did.
January 14, 2020 at 12:25 am
I’m gobsmacked!!! The only thing you are missing is the narcissism!
January 14, 2020 at 5:25 am
I agree with you Pat!! Anything I want I do NOT expect other people to pay for! To me, those types of people consider themselves “Entitled”. My mother raised me better than that!
January 14, 2020 at 8:38 am
A lot of people do seem to have a sense of entitlement these days.
January 14, 2020 at 7:54 am
My son has “funded” the creation and release of a board game because he loved the idea and wanted to see it done right (and to get his own copy and play it afterward), but there the finding is more like a pre-purchase – he ends up with a game; the creators end up with the support to know it’s worth investing in wooden counters and thick cardboard pieces.
January 14, 2020 at 8:36 am
That’s what I thought crowdfunding was about — funding (or getting funds for) worthwhile creative and artistic endeavors, and ending up with a piece of the art or some other tangible benefit.
January 14, 2020 at 9:59 am
I think the idea is that people have a hand in the creation of a work of media. It’s the modern form of being a patron of the arts, in a sense. It also can help get a product out sooner or ensures something that already looks really good is even better on release. Plenty of YouTube channels who produce specialized content and don’t use corporate backers use crowdfunding and patrons to make up for the lack of funds YouTube no longer provides through ad revenue (a whole other discussion for another time). And I know of a programmer who’s been able to work full-time on creating a game without a large team or company behind him, for at least five years, through crowdfunding and patron donations.
I also think a part of it is those who donate want the creators to have more creative control over their works. There have been too many stories of creatives who have gotten a corporate backer, only for the company to say, “We want you to make these changes because we think this will be more popular.” And then the final product turns out to suck, and when people hear about the original creator’s intent, they’re like, “Why didn’t we get that?” This way, even if the final product sucks, it’s at least true to a creator’s vision, and not what some bigwig in a suit thinks is popular.
But yeah, I can’t see myself doing this sort of thing either. Maybe accepting money for teaching a seminar or workshop, or applying to grants to help me along as a writer, and maybe ad revenue from people reading my blog. I know plenty of writers who use Patreons or GoFundMe, and I think, if it works for them and allows them to write, good for them. However, those sort of things come with their own obligations to the donors (e.g. a new, donor-exclusive short story per month), which I can’t do. And I just see myself using one of those things. Maybe someday to donate to the creation of a product, but not for my own use.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
January 14, 2020 at 10:30 am
I understand that the original purpose of at least some of the crowdfunding sites was to get funding for various creative endeavors. If I had a movie I wanted to make, I could see trying to get funding, but for a move? Nope.
January 14, 2020 at 10:31 am
Oh, move! I read movie. Yeah, I can’t understand that either.
January 14, 2020 at 3:28 pm
I agree. But there is no shame anymore.
January 14, 2020 at 4:01 pm
Boy what nerve
January 14, 2020 at 4:45 pm
Right on! I get tired of others expecting something from me , when I have much to do myself just to stay above water.
January 14, 2020 at 4:46 pm
I know. It gets hard, especially when I find out that those with their hand out have what I consider a fabulous income.
January 17, 2020 at 2:14 pm
[…] my surprise, when I wrote about being appalled by this high-tech panhandling — getting others to fund things we choose to do — many people agreed. In fact, some […]