A Thousand Years

Considering all the address labels various do-gooder groups are sending me, I won’t be able to move for a thousand years, and even then, I’ll have a few labels left over as well as those they will be sending me over coming millennium.

I mean, really — in this electronic age, how many address labels does one person need? I’ve been using one each month to pay a local bill because I got out of the habit of paying in person with The Bob restrictions. (Incidentally, if you don’t know why I call this particular disease “The Bob,” it’s not just because I can’t bear to use its name, even though that’s true, it’s because of a scene from my book, A Spark of Heavenly Fire. Click here to read the explanation: The Bob)

And I might use a couple address labels for Christmas cards if I decide to send out the new cards I constructed from old cards at an Art Guild meeting the other day. But besides that, I have no use for address labels. You’d think charitable organizations would come up with some other sort of gimmick to get people to contribute to their cause, but I suppose the labels are easy to make and cheap to mail.

***

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“I am Bob, the Right Hand of God. As part of the galactic renewal program, God has accepted an offer from a development company on the planet Xerxes to turn Earth into a theme park. Not even God can stop progress, but to tell the truth, He’s glad of the change. He’s never been satisfied with Earth. For one thing, there are too many humans on it. He’s decided to eliminate anyone who isn’t nice, and because He’s God, He knows who you are; you can’t talk your way out of it as you humans normally do.”

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Click here to purchase the Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

4 Responses to “A Thousand Years”

  1. mickeyhoffman Says:

    I wish these organizations would put their money into the causes they are supporting instead of spending it on sending me calendars and labels. We have begged some of them to please stop but they keep doing it.

  2. rami ungar the writer Says:

    I get those occasionally as well. I’ve been lucky enough to use mine, especially when I’m sending out holiday or birthday cards, but it’s kinda crazy how many charities send me stuff these days.

  3. Sam Sattler Says:

    Yep, we have a lifetime supply of those labels around the house somewhere now, too.

    My wife gives to St. Judes on a regular basis, but not through a subscribed monthly payment plan. I swear sometimes that those folks spend half of what we give them on sending us bulky, goodie-stuffed, solicitations about 30 times a year. It all seems very wasteful to me, but who knows? It does remind my wife to stuff another check into an envelope, slap one of their mailing labels on it, and send it on its merry way.


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