Because of a change in the situation of the woman I have been working for, I am on a hiatus from work. Whether this is a permanent furlough or just temporary, I don’t know, but for now, I’m back to being fairly isolated. I’m hoping the weather cooperates so the workers can come and finish some of the jobs they’ve started, such as digging the dirt away from the house and repairing the cracks in the foundation, because having them around the place makes me feel less isolated.
Even though it’s getting cold again, I am trying to take a walk every day, bundling up against the chill winds, so at least that helps me feel more a part of the world. I can also make an appointment to get more books from the library, and if I get desperate, I can watch the few hand-me-down DVDs I’ve collected. All those things make me feel less isolated, though they don’t really do anything to actually make me less isolated. I don’t suppose it matters, though, and won’t for a while longer. I do well on my own since I have hermit tendencies, though I’m not sure how healthy such isolation is in the long run.
After Jeff died, I made sure to keep active, to make friends, to be involved in various groups and to do new things because I was afraid of becoming stagnant. I redoubled those efforts once I moved because I knew what a challenge it would be making new friends, but all that effort went by the wayside with The Bob restrictions, so I have a hunch I am now at the stagnant stage. It’s possible that spending so much time alone is skewing my perceptions and that I have not yet become torpid, but it’s hard to tell because . . . well, because I am alone so much.
I suppose I could do what so many people are doing — get involved in activities with a small group of friends, but unfortunately, just because people have received the vaccine, it doesn’t mean they won’t still spread The Bob. After all, the vaccine is only 90% effective (and less so when it comes to new variants) while isolation is 100% effective.
And truly, does it really matter if I’ve become stagnant, especially if I don’t know the truth of the matter? And so what if I become the crazy cat lady sans cats? If I’m the only one around, who will know?
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator
Bertram's Blog 
February 6, 2021 at 8:07 pm
Thanks Pat again your statement is brilliant and wise of my point of view. It is going to help me a lot with my curfew 6 pm to 6 am and to fight with my situation stagnant morally, physically, intellectually.
Your approach to Covid 19 is excellent.
I don’t know simply I try to fallow you. I admire your writing in any subjects of your way of thinking. Even though that I am a free person to think.
When I was young I lived with a dog and a cat I appreciated of both.
I have learned to appreciate all seasons. Even though I prefers spring and autumn. I appreciate cold winter than hot summer.
If you feel like you can write crazy but naturally you are a wise person.
I wish and hope your journey to continue with 500+
February 6, 2021 at 10:23 pm
It’s really hard not to stagnate when you’ve lost the one person you could count on, the one person you could always do something (or nothing) with. But getting up every day is a good start.
February 7, 2021 at 1:43 pm
Such a sad song. I trust you don’t plan on treating yourself and visiting a nearby tower!
I find walking daily does help. It’s -40 with the wind here at the moment, but nice and sunny, so I think I should have a go anyway. I also find reading things like this blog from people all over helps it sink in that despite the Bob isolation, there’s still a real world full of real people out there somewhere.
February 7, 2021 at 5:35 pm
And here I thought I was brave going out in 32 degree weather!
I also had to look up the lyrics to the song because I didn’t know the tower reference. Ouch!! Apparently I’ve never really listened to the lyrics. So, no — no towers. And yes, we are real. At least, I think we are.
February 8, 2021 at 12:52 pm
I guess I’m lucky because I’m not that social so I don’t feel as isolated as I might if I was used to being around people a lot. I have only been to one store since the Covid hit, and that was because a tire went flat and I had no choice. I’m finally going to get vaccinated (see my blog for how easy that was) but I can still contaminate other people. At least maybe we can risk buying a new dishwasher which broke, of course, right at the start of the pandemic. I suppose in a few years we can buy something like that on the computer and robots will come and deliver and install the thing. Hmmm, now that’s an advantage for androids, they won’t be contagious. Next novel, Pat?
February 8, 2021 at 9:50 pm
I’m lucky, too. I’m alone and isolated, but not lonely, even though I hardly ever see another person. Being able to visit folks on the internet helps, that’s for sure!
How about you write the novel! I know you gave up writing, but in my case, writing seems to have give up me.