What’s With Those Commercials?

It’s a good thing I don’t watch much television, otherwise I’d probably have a flat forehead from banging my head against the wall. The only reason I watch at all is that the woman I work for likes to watch Judge Judy, and so I watch with her.

I don’t really mind the show, even those I’ve seen a couple of times before, because they offer good object lessons such as: have written contracts that spell out exactly what is contracted for; don’t rent from shady characters; don’t rent to shady characters; don’t let other people drive your car; and always, always, have car insurance. It also shows the sense entitlement so many people have, though I already knew that. People will encroach and encroach and encroach on your space, and when you draw the line and say, “no further,” suddenly you’re a defendant in a case before Judge Judy.

What I do mind are the commercials. The idiocy drives me wild. For example, in a series of particularly annoying paper towel commercials, somehow something gets spilled. People scream, “Nooooooo,” and run to get this special paper towel to protect a precious item from getting damaged. None of these objects is immovable, so I sit there gritting my teeth and wonder why the fools don’t simply lift the laptop or lottery ticket or tablet or whatever out of the way of the spreading liquid.

Then there’s all the lawyer commercials. With sad faces, people talk about the bad vehicular accident they were in, and then suddenly they grin and say, “But these lawyers got me $210,000,” as if they’d won the lottery. It seems to me a bad imitation of a scene from the movie Office Space, where a character in a full-body cast from is throwing a party because he’s free from working now that he’s won a huge settlement. The scene wasn’t funny in the movie, and it isn’t funny in the commercials.

Speaking of happy — the myriad prescription drug commercials all show happy, happy people, dancing and laughing as a voiceover explains all the terrible side effects those very happy people are in danger of getting, side effect that are often worse than the ailment they are supposed to cure. (You’re constipated? Take this drug and you won’t have to worry about constipation anymore because you’ll have a heart attack or become arthritic or become comatose from a stroke.)

And what’s with those oh, so anal blue bears?

See why I prefer reading? No commercials!


What if God decided S/He didn’t like how the world turned out, and turned it over to a development company from the planet Xerxes for re-creation? Would you survive? Could you survive?

A fun book for not-so-fun times.

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5 Responses to “What’s With Those Commercials?”

  1. Estragon Says:

    The book model might be as good as any. Forget advertising as a funding source entirely, and rely on pay-per-view instead.

    One way or another, I doubt the abysmal state of linear TV advertising will last. It isn’t working very well for much of anyone any more. Inertia seems to be the only thing keeping it going at this point. A pity in a way though, as there used to be some pretty good creative. The ads were sometimes at least as entertaining as the content itself. I even used to enjoy watching an annual Cannes Lions screening at the local art gallery – actually paying to watch ~90 minutes of the best commercials of the year.

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      There used to be some great commercials. Unfortunately, they discovered that great commercials work. People remembered the commercial but not what product it was touting. I really am surprised that commercials are so prevalent now that people can fast-forward through them or change channels.

  2. Uthayanan Says:

    Pat I agree with you about television. But I am not for or against the people’s privilege. My television is off for the last three and half years.
    Except for the final of World Cup football 2018. Not for football but for France. And I wanted to stay alone. I am not depressed but I lost interest in any sports. I was a regular badminton player.
    In my observation all of commercials in France were or nearly 100% bluffs. Even to appreciate artistically there is few or none at all.
    One exception I see often American Criminal Investigative series like NCIS with my tablette with internet direct or replay in French. Because I can’t see any French films or series in French directly because of my grief. But I need to listen in good French. I am not sure but I can learn passively sociocultural life in USA. It is true or not as a IT technician criminal series give me lots of informations about IT technology or inspirations of collecting informations in any kind.
    I feel television make people passive repeated commercials make lots of people believe that it is true (and sadly it is a success). And lots of people unnecessarily eating as a habit in front of television.
    By reading their biography or autobiography majority of writers and authors were best readers not television watchers. I may be wrong.
    In my case reading made me write better.
    As a IT technician I have the facility to pirate music, films, series or television service for free but I am not interested.

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      I tend to agree that writers generally started out as readers. You get a good sense of language and how to use words by reading. In a way, a movie or a show is more of an outline since you see the setting and the expressions on people’s faces without having to portray them with words.

      • Uthayanan Says:

        Marguerite Duras said about the person who made the film.
        L’Amant (roman) The Lover (novel) same name attribute for the the film.
        “Nothing attaches me to the film, it is a fantasy of a named Annaud.”
        L’Amant, Les Éditions de Minuit, 1984. Translated by Barbara Bray as The lover
        (Marguerite Germaine Marie Donnadieu 4, April 1914 – 3 March 1996), known as Marguerite Duras was a French novelist, playwright, screenwriter, essayist, and experimental filmmaker.)
        I like very much her writing. But not the film.

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