Lies I Tell Myself

I’ve been lolling around all day, reading and playing a game on the computer. I pretend my being lazy has to do with resting my knees, but the truth is . . . well, the truth is I really do need to rest them. I overdid on the digging, and I irritated my iliotibial band, a tendon that runs on the outside of the leg from the hip to below the knee.

Although I blame the digging for the problem, it actually stemmed from bending the knees over and over to pick up the clumps of grass roots and shake out the dirt. You’d think all that bending of the knees would make the muscles and hence the tendon stronger, but apparently not. Sitting at the computer doesn’t help, either, but instead exacerbates the problem with the iliotibial band.

I have been feeling elderly the past couple of weeks, as if I were ninety years old and barely able to walk or rise to my feet from a sitting position. I had worn a knee brace the last few times I was out working in the yard, as well as when I wasn’t, and that helped to a certain extent. But what really helps is being lazy and resting the leg.

When I look out the window, I see all that I still have to do, but I am so lazy even the itch to pull more weeds doesn’t get me out the door. To be honest, it’s better to wait until we get some rain to make it easier to dig, so that’s what I am waiting for — rain.

Or so I tell myself.

As you can see, I tell myself a lot of lies that are not really lies.

I do need to rest my knees, though. I am too young to be so old. (But also too old to even use the word “young” in any description of myself.)

I also need to add iliotibial band strengthening exercises to my knee exercise regime since both the joint and the tendon work together. Luckily, I won’t have to add too many new exercises. Some of the knee exercises I am doing are also good for the iliotibial band.

Now I just have to do the exercises. Some days I am lackadaisical (lazy) about doing the knee therapy even though I know it helps. Because of those exercises, the bad knee (the left knee) is now the good knee, while the good knee is the one that keeps buckling when the iliotibial band lets go. To make matters even more confusing, the right knee started out as the bad knee, but when the left knee went bad (not because of overdoing, you understand, but because I slept wrong), the right knee became the good knee.

I do think I’m young enough (there’s that “y” word again) that if I continue with my physical therapy, my knees — joints and tendons — should be able to recover.

I sure hope that’s the truth and not another lie I’m telling myself.


Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.

4 Responses to “Lies I Tell Myself”

  1. Beauty & Books Says:

    I think its the knees that are the first to go, no matter what age (even my children complain out it). And so what is so bad about being lazy – or think of it as resting the body for the day. My favorite is reading and any excuse to do so I will take. Maybe thats why I can finish a book in two days…..does pain in the wrists also count as being lazy?

  2. SheilaDeeth Says:

    I feel like I was young last year. This year not so much. Roll on 2022.

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