For many years after Jeff died, I was conflicted about life. If life mattered, why wasn’t he still here? And if life didn’t matter, why am I still here? I’m still conflicted when I think about it, so I don’t. At least I try not to. Instead, I try to focus on living, on making living a purposeful, active act rather than passively going about my days.
To that end, I try to find something to celebrate every day, perhaps a nice meal, an unexpected visit with a friend, a smile exchanged with someone I have business dealings with, or even just that the sun is shining.
Today I have something special to celebrate: the first tulip of the season!
Although not as spectacular, I also have a tiny clump of a bulbous perennial called Glory of the Snow that bloomed a day or two earlier.
There are still several weeks of possible frosts before planting. The weather seems to be taking that schedule to heart because most nights are getting down below freezing. I wouldn’t be surprised if this year the frost deadline is extended a week or two further into May, though it is warming up, and tomorrow will be downright balmy — in the eighties! Still, until the warmth and gardening weather is here to stay, it’s good to see — and celebrate — whatever decides to show its beautiful face.
And today it was the tulip.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
Bertram's Blog 
April 8, 2022 at 5:36 pm
Beautiful flowers. Nice way to celebrate. At the moment I am still confused with my grief.
But I take your words “ I try to focus on living, on making living a purposeful, active act rather than passively going about my days.”
April 8, 2022 at 6:15 pm
It’s the only way I was able to find a renewed interest in life.
April 11, 2022 at 7:25 am
Your blooms are beautiful. I hope you cover then when they call for frost at night. You are warmer than us. It was rainy, windy, cloudy and low 50’s last week. This week they are calling for 70’s with scattered showers off & on. My dogwoods are blooming.
April 11, 2022 at 7:40 am
We won’t be getting any rain, but it sure will be windy!