I often write about (or at least refer to) the changes in my life since Jeff died twelve-and-a-half years ago, but I don’t write that much about the changes since my older brother died. Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of his death, and it surprised me that it wasn’t that long ago (or perhaps it surprised me that it was so long ago — with death and grief, it’s sometimes hard to tell). His death set into play a long string of happenstance that ended up with me, in a house, in this sweltering corner of Colorado.
Mostly, his death changed me in some fundamental way so I was ready when my other brother suggested I take my small savings and buy a house. He’d come to help me clear out our deceased brother’s things and deal with any legal issues, and I have a hunch he wanted to make sure I was settled so he wouldn’t have to worry about yet another sibling. Whatever his reasoning, the idea he broached made sense to me, especially when he told me about this area that actually had houses I could afford.
The time was ripe, apparently, for buying houses in and around this area, because every one I liked (and could afford) disappeared from the market even before my real estate agent could look at it.
Luckily, I only needed one house, and that house came looking for me.
It seems as if I’d been looking for a very long time before I became aware of this house, but considering that my brother has been gone only four years and that I’ve been here a couple of months shy of three and a half years, the whole upheaval to my life — ambitions, geographical location, as well as the mental change from life-long renter to homeowner — happened in a matter of months.
It’s ironic that because of the death of my homeless brother, I am homefull. (That’s not a word, though it should be.) At any rate, whatever the proper word, because of him, here I am, with a home of my own.
Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
July 20, 2022 at 10:10 am
I think it’s a comfort when we find a special place to call our own. It’s also interesting to look back and see the series of happenings that have resulted in where we are today. As much as we love where we live, my hubby and I recently recognized that we’re quickly reaching the point of not being able to look after this rural property, so we’ve been taking the steps necessary to ready it for sale.
The problem will be to find a suitable new home that will be available when we need it, when we have no idea how long it’s going to take to sell our present one. We can’t afford to be in the position of owning two homes! It’s a concern, but when we look back we realize God has always provided what we needed exactly when we needed it. So we aren’t worrying…just browsing through the real estate listings online, consulting regularly with our agent, and wondering just where we’ll be led this time. It’s an adventure!
July 20, 2022 at 11:38 am
Truly an adventure — a leap into the unknown! I bet you find the perfect place for yourselves at the perfect time.