Today’s blog prompt is “What is your mission?” For a long time, my mission was to simply to deal with my grief after Jeff’s death. Anyone who has dealt with grief knows that it is a massive mission — at first, getting through the days, then learning to live with a big hole in your life, then eventually becoming the person who can perhaps thrive despite the loss. Because the horrendous pain was an experience I’d never encountered before in books or movies or other people, my mission expanded to telling the truth about this sort of all-encompassing grief, to let other grievers know they weren’t alone, that grief was normal. When my grief became more manageable, my mission changed to telling those who were still grieving long after others think they should have “moved on,” that they are doing exactly the right thing, and that someday they will get to where they need to be.
My grief mission has come to an end. I no longer have an interest in resurrecting my pain to talk about it, to explain it, to lay myself bare. In fact, I’m to the point where I can’t handle any sort of grief, even the second-hand kind. Compassion overload apparently is a real thing.
A few days ago, I wrote about being — or not being — a contender (I Coulda Been a Contender). It seems the gist of the blog is that I am missing a sense of mission. Since I don’t really know what a mission is (though I do know when one thrusts itself upon me), I had to look up the word.
A mission is “the ultimate goal or purpose toward which one strives; one’s reason or motivation to continue existing, operating, or working.” At the moment I have no goal, no motivation to continue existing except the most basic — to survive the day as best as I can, to glean whatever good I can find and to try to gracefully glide past anything that’s not so good.
Now that I think of it, that’s not a bad mission!
What’s your mission?
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
Bertram's Blog 
January 11, 2023 at 10:53 am
My mission right now is surviving the horrendous pain and emptiness that my husband left the he died four months ago. By the way he was also called Jeff. I haven’t been engaging in telling the truth to as many people as I can, let them find out for themselves eventually is my plan. Thanks for sharing yours (mission), I think it’s as good as any.
January 11, 2023 at 11:15 am
I am so sorry about your Jeff. And yes, simply surviving the pain and getting through the day is mission enough.
I like your attitude, to let people find out the truth for themselves.
January 11, 2023 at 3:44 pm
Unless of course they ask, but people rarely do.
January 11, 2023 at 12:09 pm
I am so grateful that I stumbled upon this blog. I often feel lost in my grief and I feel like I don’t have a mission. What does that mean for me?
Well, if you don’t have a clear mission then you are going to struggle to find ways to cope with your grief. It sounds like you don’t really have a purpose or a goal in life anymore. This can lead to a lot of Netflix watching, sleeping in, and feeling like a failure. It’s important to remember that you are not a failure, you are still fighting and you can still achieve something great.
It’s important to find a mission for yourself and to keep your focus on what you want to achieve. When you focus
Thanks!
January 11, 2023 at 12:40 pm
Luckily for me, I don’t have Netflix, though I do tend to read a whole heck of a lot. I like to think that I could still achieve something great.
Sorry about your grief. It’s a hard thing, and I appreciate your stopping by and leaving a comment.