There isn’t much in my life anymore that I want to or need to commemorate. There’s been nothing spectacularly good or spectacularly bad — just life. Living day by day. Enjoying being alive, or at least being at peace and accepting of what comes. I read, play games on the computer, exercise a bit, try to eat right, visit with friends occasionally. Just . . .live.
If there is any month, though, that should be commemorated, it is March, mostly because so many life of my life changing experiences have happened this month. In three weeks, it will be the fourteenth anniversary of Jeff’s death. It’s hard sometimes to remember that I wasn’t always alone, that once I shared my life with someone but fourteen years is a long time. Still, I do remember, especially during this month.
A happy commemoration is that March is also the anniversary of my becoming a homeowner. It’s amazing that those five years have sped by so quickly. It seems as if it wasn’t that long ago that I made this momentous and life changing decision. I have never once regretted buying the house — in fact, most days I look around in gratitude for this lovely, comfortable home.
March is also the month where my yard starts to come alive — the grass is greening, the tulips are poking through the winter-weary ground, and the larkspur are sprouting. I’m surprised to see the carpet of green larkspur sprouts this year — I thought I’d done a good job of collecting (and sharing!) the seeds — but I’m glad to see how eager they are to grow, especially since we’ve had so little moisture this winter. (The mountains grabbed it all before it could hit the plains.)
March is also the month I became a published author. Though it was a life-changing experience, to a certain extent, anyway, it wasn’t as much of a change as I had hoped. Still, it deserves a mention, especially now that I’ve pretty much given up writing. (I can’t even manage to write a single blog post every month, when once I wrote one ever day in addition to my fiction writing.)
I don’t often mention my birthday — I used to spend so much time online, used to post so much information, that I didn’t like the idea of my birth date being bandied about — but a birthday is certainly the anniversary of a life changing experience, perhaps the life changing experience, and that anniversary also occurs this month.
So far, all I’ve been doing to commemorate these momentous anniversaries is going outside every morning to see if any more tulips made an appearance, but with so many things to celebrate (though the anniversary of Jeff’s death isn’t something to celebrate, my surviving all these years and even thriving certainly is), I really ought to do something special. Well, posting this blog is special, but I should do something else I seldom do. Bake a cake maybe.
Wishing you a happy, momentous March!
***
Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
Bertram's Blog 
March 5, 2024 at 11:38 am
Happy Birthday to you Pat. I know what you mean about March. This Saturday marks the 4th anniversary of Mike’s departing this world. Nothing much has changed in this house since that day. A girlfriend of mine is taking me to a movie I’m interested in, in order to get me out of the house that day. The weather here is rainy, drab and dreary, but my daffodils are up and smiling their lovely yellow. We are close to being out of our drought, yeah. It seems like every day I see something new starting to grow.
Hope this finds you well. Keep in touch!
Judy
March 5, 2024 at 12:28 pm
Four years? Wow. I’m glad you’re getting out of the house on that day. Life. It goes on, I guess.
Funny, you’re getting out of a drought, and we’re getting in one. But daffodils! How nice. They used to be my favorite. And yes, we’ll keep in touch.
March 5, 2024 at 11:40 am
I just wanted to let you know Cle passed Feb. 24. Love Ya!
March 5, 2024 at 12:29 pm
I am so sorry Royann. Disheartening news. You have my phone number if you need to talk.
March 5, 2024 at 5:21 pm
Can’t today maybe tomorrow. Tears come at the most unexpected times.
March 5, 2024 at 5:30 pm
Of course tears come at the most unexpected times. (We’ve all had to leave grocery stores because of those tears.) Let them come. They help with the stress of loss.
March 5, 2024 at 12:31 pm
I sent you a condolence email, but it came back as undeliverable. I am truly sorry about Cle.
March 5, 2024 at 2:10 pm
Thanks. At least he really didn’t want to leave me.
March 5, 2024 at 5:30 pm
Something to hold on to, but not enough.
March 5, 2024 at 11:47 am
Hello!
So nice to hear from you! I was thinking about you the other day!
Glad you are well!
One of your followers!
<
div>Elizabeth from Miami, Florida
Sent from my iPhone
<
div dir=”ltr”>
<
blockquote type=”cite”>
March 5, 2024 at 12:20 pm
Thankyou for sharing this Pat. You may think th
March 10, 2024 at 12:47 pm
Hi Pat,
I miss your blog every day/month! I was a faithful reader and really miss those days. Hope you are doing well. I’m fine, too.
Coco Ihle
March 11, 2024 at 8:20 am
Hi, Coco! So good to hear from you. I’m glad you’re fine. I often think of my lovely visit with you.
March 13, 2024 at 1:23 pm
Pat,
I felt so honored that you chose to visit me on your U.S. journey! I enjoyed meeting you so much!!!
Coco
March 13, 2024 at 7:07 pm
The pleasure was all mine, I assure you!
March 10, 2024 at 12:48 pm
Hi Pat,
I miss your blog every day/month! I was a faithful reader and really miss those days. Hope you are doing well. I’m fine, too.
Coco Ihle
March 17, 2024 at 2:31 pm
I like March, too, especially all the new beginnings that it heralds, but I’ll be even happier to see April this year. After 1-1/2 years on the market, we’ve finally sold our property and have found a new house into which we’ll move in mid April. So for now our lives are full of packing boxes and general chaos. It’s all about culling. We’ve lived here for 27 years and managed to accumulate way too much ‘stuff’.
We’re having a warm, sunny week here in the PNW and that’s encouraging everything to start growing. Yay for springtime! Crocuses have joined my fading snowdrops, and in town forsythia is blooming and the cherry trees are just beginning to show their pink blossoms. I’m looking forward to discovering what secrets the garden at our new house will reveal. It was snowy and bleak when we bought, so springtime will be a gardening adventure.
You didn’t mention the actual date of your March birthday, but whenever it is I wish you a very happy day. 🙂
March 18, 2024 at 2:01 pm
You’re area is way ahead of ours. There are no forsythia blossoming yet, not even any crocuses. And it’s way too cold here for cherry trees, alas.
I am glad you finally sold your property. A year and a half is a long time to live in the unrest of a house on the market. Best of luck in your new place, and wishing you great gardening treasures.