Can you believe it? Here I am, and it’s only been two months since I last put in an appearance on this blog! Occasionally, people contact me, wanting to know how and what I’m doing, which makes me realize that I need to post an update more often. I’ve had a note by my computer reminding me to do a blog for weeks now. I don’t know what the issue is — I suppose it used to be that I wrote to get myself out of my head, but now I’m not really in my head, so writing is not as much of a necessity as it once was.
Considering, too, that there’s not much going on in my garden in August, that takes away one topic of conversation. The only topic, actually. I haven’t written about much else in a long time, and August is a hard time for gardening around here. There are a few pretty flowers scattered around my yard, but mostly my gardening activities revolve around helping my greenery survive the heat and the humongous grasshoppers that are almost as big as the giant zinnias, and planning what to do for next year.
For a while, I made a point of eating outside. Eating alone at a table always seems so lonely, so generally I read while I eat, but lately, I’ve been trying something different — eating at the table in my gazebo without a book. Just enjoying what I’ve accomplished with my yard. Now that a heat wave is blasting through here again, I’ve put that activity on hold, and considering how hard it is to get me to do anything, who knows if I’ll get back to al fresco dining when it cools off again.
It’s ironic that for so many years after Jeff died I worried about stagnating, and I have to admit, despite all that worry, it’s come true. I tend my yard, read, play a game on my computer, talk to neighbors occasionally, and that’s about it. I really was doing fine going out and about, joining various activities, and inviting friends to tea until the whole Bob thing catapulted me into a solitary life. [If you don’t already know, I call it The Bob because of a conversation in A Spark of Heavenly Fire, my novel about a novel disease.] Now, I just don’t seem to have the impetus — or the energy — to catapult myself back into being gregarious again. Perhaps when it’s cooler, I’ll be more willing to be sociable. Or not.
Wishing you a wonderful September.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
Bertram's Blog 
September 8, 2024 at 8:04 pm
Hello Pat, I too, am still homebound because of Bob. I used to go go go, Wichita, Salina, dancing and just getting out whenever the mood hit me. Not so much anymore, I am happy to stay home with my dogs and Kelly (who came into my life in 2019). We were lucky to have found each other before Bob reared his nasty head in these parts. We are both retired and pretty much have no desire to go much of anywhere. We have large grasshoppers as well as large spiders here, and any flowers that bloom are from bulbs that have been in the ground for many years. I enjoyed reading and seeing the pictures you decided to share, always good to catch up with an old friend. Hugs and love, Katherine
September 9, 2024 at 6:49 am
So great to hear from you! I often think of our visit and the trips to Wichita, especially now that I live a short hop from the Kansas border. But I don’t travel any more. As I said in the blog, I don’t do much of anything anymore. Thank you so much for checking in with me!
September 9, 2024 at 3:22 pm
Pat! It’s you! It’s been so long, I was seriously tempted to do my David Attenborough impression (unfortunately, that’s something better heard in person than read over the web).
September 9, 2024 at 4:37 pm
I probably wouldn’t have understood the impression anyway, so it’s just as well. Good to hear from you!
September 9, 2024 at 4:42 pm
Right back at you!
September 11, 2024 at 5:40 am
I was happy to see your post popping up in my email again. And what lovely flowers you do have even with the sci-fi sized grasshoppers. Luckily I haven’t seen many in the last few years. But just a few miles away they are still abundant every summer. Its a Stephen King adventure when going to visit family with so many jumping through the air when disturbed.
Bob did trigger a big change in my life. Though I’ve never been one to enjoy shopping at least I got out there and interacted with people while doing so. Now it’s online shopping with curbside pickup or postal delivery around 99% of the time. However, I must say even if Bob had never happened and curbside had been offered to the extent it is today I would be right here at 99%.
Looking forward to your next post as the holiday season nears.
September 11, 2024 at 7:20 am
It is interesting how Bob affected so many of us, even those of us who made it through without losing our health, a loved one, or even ourselves.
Oh, the pressure! Another blog post in two months! Actually, I’m hoping to do better than that.
September 18, 2024 at 4:07 pm
I’m late in responding, but it really was nice to find your post in my inbox last week. I’m not inclined to do much these days either, including not posting on my blog. It may well be post-pandemic lethargy, or post-move exhaustion. Or pure laziness! LOL. But I’ve convinced myself there’s no shame in avoiding projects that don’t currently appeal to me.
Your flowers are so pretty. They obviously like the care you give them. The couple deck tubs of annuals I planted here this spring are looking tired, and the only blooms still happening in the garden beds are on one rose bush and a small ‘Autumn Joy’ sedum plant.
There were just two trees in our yard here, one of which was dying when we first saw this property and since moving in we’ve watched it progress to the totally dead stage. When a large branch fell off it a couple weeks ago we finally contacted someone to remove it. Now we’re left with a very bare spot along the fence in the back garden (and the resulting reduction in privacy). We’d like to plant a new tree in its place, but can’t dig a hole in that same spot because of the remaining roots. I think it’s a chore that will be left until next spring anyway. It’s a bit early, but this week we’ve begun slowly getting the gardens and lawn ready for fall and winter.
I look forward to your posts, whenever the spirit moves you to create them. I hope you’re enjoying whatever catches your fancy these days, regardless of whether it requires energy or not, and will continue to take good care of yourself.
September 18, 2024 at 8:00 pm
I’ve always been a bit contemptuous of people who moved to a new place and immediately removed trees, but that’s exactly what I did. Like you, my trees were dying (and one was too close to the house so the insurance company made me move it). I did plant a couple of small plum trees, but I am pruning them to be small so I can remove any fruit that might come. I had to have the tree people come and grind the stumps that were left behind so I could plant bushes and such.
We’re still in summer here. It won’t cool down until fall actually gets here, so my chrysanthemums are just getting started, the tomatoes are still producing tiny fruit, and my grass is just coming out of hibernation, so even though I have a yen to start cleaning up for fall, I am holding back. I’ll have all fall and most of the winter, anyway to clean up, ready to throw down my wildflower seeds before the first major snowstorm. Good thing, too. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t do anything! At least with being outside, I can visit with neighbors occasionally.
I am delighted you responded to this post. Thank you!
I hope you’re enjoying your new place!