culture | Bertram's Blog

Searching For Happy Memories

April 2, 2010 — Pat Bertram

I’ve been searching for happy memories to take the edge off the memory of watching my lifemate die so painfully, and one I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is a day I visited him at the store he owned. We spent hours talking — about life, books, history, moving from one topic to another as easily as if we’d known each other a lifetime instead of just a few months — and then he walked me outside. This is the poem I wrote when I got home that night:

you turned around
and waved to me
after we said good-bye
a small gesture
that told me more
than all the words
we had spoken

I wish I could have just one more word, one more wave from him.

Posted in culture, grief, life, writing. Tags: grief, love, poem. 6 Comments »

A Tribute to a Fallen Mate

March 31, 2010 — Pat Bertram

Yesterday I mentioned that once upon a time I wrote snippets of poetry. That time coincided to when I met the man who would share my life, and some of the snippets I wrote are poignant to me now because they chronicle my first feelings for him. A private man, he would be appalled that I am writing about him, but I didn’t want his life to pass unnoticed by all but me. Though written long ago, this bit still fits him:

you give
(not lightly
the figments of this world
but)
your reality
and your radiance
(your soul)

Posted in culture, grief, life, writing. Tags: grief, love, poem. 8 Comments »

Remembering

March 29, 2010 — Pat Bertram

Still in the throes of a weepfest. Here is another poem about dealing with grief. Feel free to share poems that have helped you get through rough times.

Remember by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away,
            Gone far away into the silent land;
            When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
            You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
            Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
            And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
            For if the darkness and corruption leave
            A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
            Than that you should remember and be sad.

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Posted in culture, grief, life, writing. Tags: Christina Rossetti, grief, poem, Remember. 13 Comments »

Funeral Blues

March 28, 2010 — Pat Bertram

One of the best descriptions of grief I have ever read is Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden. If you’ve seen the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral, you are familiar with Auden’s words, but for those who have never seen the poem, I am posting it here (and hoping I am not infringing on Auden’s copyright). Feel free to join my weepfest by sharing your favorite poem of loss or grief.

Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Posted in culture, grief, life, writing. Tags: Four Weddings and a Funeral, Funeral Blues, grief, W. H. Auden, weepfest. 11 Comments »

A Meme By Any Other Name Would Be As Confusing

February 25, 2010 — Pat Bertram

There is a meme going around, and I was tagged for it by Eric Beetner, co-author of One Too Many Blows to the Head. Meme? Are you as confused by that term as I am? A meme is a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another. Whatever that means. It certainly doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the meme I was tagged for, which directs one to tell six outrageous lies and one outrageous truth about oneself (or six truths and one lie if one prefers). An internet meme, however, is defined as a catchphrase or concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet. Still don’t see what that has to do with lies, but in the end, that’s not the point. The point is, do I follow through since Eric asked so nicely, or do I ignore the whole situation as I normally do?

Two things work against my following through:

1) I’m not good at telling outrageous lies. If I were, I’d probably be a bestselling writer. As it is, my books are filled with truths, outrageous or not, thinly disguised as fiction.

2) I’m not sure that posting outrageous lies on the eternal internet is such a good idea. Forever after, people will stumble across those lies and if they didn’t know the origin, they might consider them the truth.

So, I am going to compromise (cheat) and tell you two outrageous (okay, semi-outrageous) things. Both might be true, both might be lies, or one might be a lie and one might be a truth. You figure it out.

1) I don’t eat chocolate.

2) I was Cleopatra in a previous time.

I’ll let you know the answer in a couple of days. Until then . . .

Tag! You’re it!

Rules:

• Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth – or – switch it around and tell six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie.
• Nominate some more “Creative Writers” who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies of their own.
• Post links to the blogs you nominate.
• Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know that you have nominated them.

Posted in blogging, culture, internet, writing. Tags: definition of meme, Eric Beetner, meme, outrageous lies. 1 Comment »

Language of the Fan Decoded

December 20, 2009 — Pat Bertram

Once upon a time, women (were they called women back then, or were they ladies?) carried fans, and they used the fans to communicate silently with their lovers. Of course, since everyone knew the language of the fan, the maessage wasn’t exactly a secret. Still, the language has its uses, most particularly for writers of historical romance. So, for your edification, here it is:

With the handle to the lips: Kiss me

Carrying in the right hand: Desirous of making acquaintance

Carrying in the right hand in front of the face: Follow me

Placing on left ear: You have changed

Twirling in left hand: I wish to get rid of you

Drawing across forehead: We are watched

Carrying in right hand: You are too willing

Drawing across cheek: I love you

Drawing through hand: I hate you

Twirling in right hand: I love another

Closing the fan: I wish to speak to you

Drawing across eyes: I am sorry

Letting it rest on right cheek: Yes

Letting it rest on left cheek: No

Open and shut: You are cruel

Dropping: We are friends

Fanning slowly: I am married

Fanning fast: I am engaged

Open wide: Wait for me

Could make for an interesting story. A lady is desperately in love with a gent and he with her. However, the ballroom is hot, and she feels faint, so she starts fanning herself. Her swain sees what she is doing and disconsolately leaves, thinking that the lady belongs to another. Because she is hidden behind the fan, she doesn’t see him, and so she never knows what happened to him. Hmmm. Maybe I better stick to thrillers or mysteries or whatever it is that I write.

Posted in culture, writing. Tags: fanning oneself, meaning of a fan, signaling with a fan. 4 Comments »

A Store Walking Down the Street

November 7, 2009 — Pat Bertram

I recently came across this sentence in a novel: “It was the kind of store I loved to see walking down the street when I was a kid.” Whoooo. I’d like to see any kind of store walking down the street!

I was thinking about that particular gaffe while I was walking down the street today. I happened to see something that made me realize the sentence wasn’t totally ludicrous — a house rolling passed me. Okay, it was being towed, but still, it was moving along the street instead of being securely attached to a foundation.

Something else I saw: a henpecked rooster. Not a pretty sight! That poor thing was pecked raw by the hens. I will never again use the word henpecked, though to be honest, I’m not sure I ever did.

Many words outlive their usefulness and become meaningless clichés, such as pitch black. Does anyone today even know what pitch is? I had to look it up. It’s a black, sticky substance from the distillation of tar. What about hair the color of a raven’s wing. Have you ever seen a raven’s wing up close? Perhaps you saw a crow. I don’t know enough about birds to tell the difference, but I do know that comparing hair to a crow’s wing doesn’t portray the same poetic image. And why are writers still referring to the squeals of stuck pigs? Some clichés are of more recent standing, such as a stuffed briefcase. If you saw someone with a briefcase, how would you know how full it was?

Clichés, poorly constructed sentences, and unnecessary bits of exposition should be eliminated during the editing process. Today’s Daughter Am I blog tour stop includes a segment of Daughter Am I that remained in the book up until a week before publication. It’s not a bad excerpt, but it added nothing except a bit more history to a novel that already had a lot of history.

You can see the segment here: Dead Darling from Daughter Am I.

Click here to buy Daughter Am I from Second Wind Publishing, LLC.

Click here to buy Daughter Am I from Amazon.

Click here to download 30% of Daughter Am I free from Smashwords.

Click here to read the first chapter of Daughter Am I.

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Posted in culture, writing. Tags: blog tour, cliches, Daughter Am I, henpecked, pitch black, raven's wing, stuck pig. 6 Comments »

Big Bird and the Military

November 4, 2009 — Pat Bertram

Sesame Street is forty years old today. When the program first launched, it was touted as a show to help kids learn and to show them that learning is fun. I never understood why they needed talking toys to instill a love of learning. I thought then, and I still think that learning itself is fun. You don’t need to play games while learning to find the fun and excitement of expanding your brain. But apparently, even when I myself was young, I didn’t get it. And now I’m wondering if all those Sesame Street children didn’t get it. Where are all those creative and brilliant adults that the show was supposed to produce? It seems as if both the Internet and shows like Sesame Street encourage passivity and an expectation that learning is always be easy and fun, colorful and noisy.

Oddly, as I was thinking these thoughts, I happened to notice an article suggesting that kids today are too fat, dumb, or dishonest to join the military. (75 Percent of Young Americans Are Unfit for Military Duty.) These would be second generation Sesame Streeters, first generation Internetters.

Perhaps the over-forties are every bit as passive as the under-forties, choosing the easy fun of video games, television shows, and films over books. Not that it matters, except that I have books to sell, and I wonder what my demographic is. (You did know I would come around to that, didn’t you?) I have never understood how one chooses a demographic, though I have finally realized that’s what a genre is for — finding your demographic, which is a population who will be more receptive to your book than any other population.

Today, I am a guest at Un:Bound for Ravenous Wednesday, which is so not my demographic. On the other hand, they have welcomed me and made me feel at home, and they are readers, so — despite my lack of flowing tresses and lethal wings — perhaps they are my demographic. Ah! Now I have you intrigued! You can find me, an interview, and a lively discussion at: Ravenous Wednesday with Special Guest. That special guest, of course, is me.

Click here to buy Daughter Am I from Second Wind Publishing, LLC.

Click here to buy Daughter Am I from Amazon.

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Posted in blogging, books, culture, internet, life, writing. Tags: blog tour, ravenous wednesday, Sesame Street, unfit for military duty. 7 Comments »

I Fear, You Fear, We All Fear

October 31, 2009 — Pat Bertram

Sheri Parks, an assistant professor at the University of Maryland, says that many teens today have had years of exposure to violent video games and media images, which studies show desensitizes them to violence.

How odd to think that there are now studies showing this desensitization. Many of today’s — and yesterday’s — video games were developed by the military because studies had shown that repeated images of violence and death inured people to killing. In World War II, as many as 85% of soldiers fired over enemies’ heads or did not fire at all. After World War II, there was a concerted effort by the military to overcome this natural reluctance to kill, and apparently they succeeded, because during close combat in Vietnam, only about 5% of soldiers failed to aim to kill.

These same desensitizing “games” were later released as toys for children. Is it any wonder that teens today stand by and take pictures while a young girl is gang raped?

Today I am a guest at A.F. Stewart’s blog talking about fears. I kept my post light in honor of Halloween, but findings such as these about desensitization scare the heck out of me. Author Lee Child says that we don’t write what we know, we write what we fear, and that certainly is true in my case. I fear the machinations of the powerful, deadly, and calculating men and women who control our lives behind the scenes.

This theme is most prevalent in More Deaths Than One (in fact, I came across the information about desensitization while researching the military, soldiers, and killing for that particular novel) though it shows up in milder forms in all of my novels. Conspiracy? Perhaps. Truth? Probably. Fear? Definitely.

Now that I have scared you, go check out a lighter side of fear and tell me: What Are You Afraid Of?

More Deaths Than One is available from Amazon, Second Wind Publishing, and Smashwords. (You can download 30% free at Smashwords as well as buy in all ebook formats.)

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Posted in blogging, culture, life, writing. Tags: A. F. Stewart, desensitization, fear, Lee Child, military, More Deaths Than One, video games, Vietnam shoot to kill, WWII shoot to kill. 2 Comments »

Researching Gangster Lore for Daughter Am I

September 30, 2009 — Pat Bertram

I have notebooks full of gangster lore that I collected when I researched Daughter Am I, my young woman/old gangsters coming of age novel. (I keep calling it that, but it’s so much more — a murder mystery, a treasure hunt, a romp through the middle of the United States with a young woman and a busload of irrepressible octogenarian rogues. “Snow White and the Seven Old Farts” as one of the villains called them.) As usual, I am digressing. Someday, perhaps, I will learn that just because I use parenthesis, it doesn’t give me the right to meander off topic. Or maybe it does.

Anyway, the point is, I was able to use only an iota of my notes. So many real-life characters never even got to be reborn in the person of one of my “elders.” (There’s a topic for discussion — what does one call a busload of aged men and women? I despise the term “senior citizens,” I have no fondness for “old folks” — the term, that is — and “golden- agers” is too nauseating. So I settled for “elders” with its nuance of wisdom.)

One such character I never used for my book was Jake “The Barber” Factor, who stole millions from people through stock market swindles and investment fraud. He worked as a bootblack when he was a boy, shining shoes outside of a barbershop. The price of a shine was two cents, but he’d tell unwary customers that he’d give them a “steamboat shine” for one cent. If the customer agreed, he’d polish one shoe until it gleamed, then he’d say, “There’s your steamboat shine, Mister. For a dime, I’ll shine the other shoe.”

Oscar Wilde once said, ” The Americans are certainly great hero worshippers, and always take heros from the criminal classes.” Well, perhaps not always, but most of us bear a grudging admiration for con men and women, mostly because they seem so much smarter than the rest of us. Or maybe they just have fewer scruples.

Daughter Am I will be released by Second Wind Publishing in the middle of October.

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