When Did the Realization “I Am a Writer” Hit?

The title of this bloggery is the topic of a discussion on Facebook hosted by Christine Husom, a fellow Second Wind author. My response was:

The realization that I am a writer hasn’t hit, and I’m not sure it will. I’m very involved with writing — I belong to various groups; I talk a lot about writing; and even when I’m not writing creatively, I’m writing: blogs and articles, comments and emails. But I don’t define myself as a writer. When you consider all that being a published writer entails — promotion, engendering good will, etc — writing is a small very small part of the whole.

Of course, when I’m accepting the Nobel Prize for literature a dozen years from now, perhaps then the realization will hit. (You do know I’m joking, right?)

A few people responded that of course I was a writer, and they are right — I do write, therefore I am a writer. I even have two books published. But the question was: when did the realization hit? And it never did. My journey to becoming a writer was a long, smooth (or almost smooth; let’s just forget about those 200+ rejections) journey from first draft to second, from second draft to edits, from edits to proof to copy-edits, from proof to finished book. I saw so many copies of my proofs that when I received the final book, it never struck me as being different from the proofs I’d struggled over. Even the demarcation between being published and not being published was smeared. A month or so before A Spark of Heavenly Fire and More Deaths Than One showed up in print, I noticed that they were available from Second Wind Publishing as ebooks. I don’t know how long they’d been on the site, but their availability made me a published author, and I wasn’t aware of it.

I’m sure if I was making a living off my writing, I’d define myself as a writer. And if I won the Nobel Prize, I might. But still  . . . I blog more than I write creatively, but I don’t call myself a blogger. I promote more than I blog, but I don’t consider myself a promoter. I sleep more than I promote, but I don’t call myself a sleeper. (Though some people might.)

But how I define myself isn’t the question. The question is: When did the realization “I am a writer” hit?  And my response holds true. I never did have that realization.

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Pat Bertram Is Two Years Old Today!

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On May 17, 2007, I — or rather, Pat Bertram — signed gift4up for the Internet, and it was love at first byte. The entire world opened up to me, and I was reborn. I’d already written four books, but until I went online, I hadn’t started creating the author of those books. Who should I be? What name should I use? I considered using a male pseudonym, Cole Black, perhaps, since men with hard C’s and K’s do well in the public arena. Anyone heard of Steven King? Dean Koontz? Tom Clancy? Kevin Costner? Clint Eastwood?

In the end I decided to stick with a version of my own name, one that I didn’t use in my offline life. It’s a good name for an author with enough hard consonants to sound authoritative. And it has the whole androgynous “It’s Pat” thing going for it; I can be whoever I want. Besides, p’s and b’s and t’s and r’s didn’t hurt Brad Pitt any.

I signed up for my domain, set up a website at patbertram.com, then fished around for another way to create myself, and discovered blogging. I didn’t even know what a blog was, didn’t think it was something I would ever be able to do (my diaries as a kidgift3 never lasted more than a day or two), but I’d discovered that an author needed a blog. Since I was intent on creating myself as an author, I signed up for WordPress, and oh! What a joy! I could write whatever I wanted, say what I wanted, be what I wanted, and people would read what I wrote. Okay, only a couple of people read Bertram’s Blog at the beginning, but I am still friends with one of them. How cool is that? I’m too embarrassed to admit how many blogs I now have — some of which I keep up with on a regular basis, soballoons1me I don’t — but blogging remains one of my favorite online activities.

From blogging, I went to Gather.com to enter a crime writing contest, and through a series of incredibly serendipitous encounters, I found a publisher. And more friends. After that, of course, I had to start promoting, so I started social networking. I’d heard from so many authors how much they hated promoting, but me? I think it’s great fun. It’s all about making friends, and what’s more fun than that?

So, friends, please join me in celebrating this very special birthday. You don’t even have to bring me a present. I have presents for you! Click on either package to open.  I hope you have fun.

I know I will.

Puzzling Out Promotion

Writing means many things to many people. It is like a mythic journey into self, other lands, other minds. It is like archeology, like exorcising demons, like channeling, like performance, like a faucet. It is like having an adventure. It is uniquely human, and it brings out the divine in us. It is breathing, a compulsion, a necessity, a reason for living, an obsession, a fun pastime. It is exhilarating and frustrating. It is liberating. And it is like comfort food, chocolate, and cherries. It is like magic.

Because of this mystic connection to their words, other writers don’t seem to understand why I can stop writing to promote my newly published books. For me, writing is like the world’s longest crossword puzzle, one that takes a year to complete. I like playing with words, finding their rhythm, and getting them to behave the way I want. I like being able to take those words and create ideas, characters, and emotions. Amazing when you think about it, how we can juggle twenty-six symbols in different ways to create words, sentences, paragraphs, worlds. And what one person writes, another can read.  (more . . . )

(This article was originally published and is published in full on Vince Gotera’s blog, The Man With the Blue Guitar.)

A Stranger on My Own Blog

Sometimes I get to feeling like a stranger on my own blog. I know I’ve told you several times before that I’m going to reclaim it for myself, but I keep meeting fascinating people who have more interesting things to say than I do, so I invite them to write a guest post. Sometimes I don’t even know how fascinating the people are! I met Vince Gotera on Facebook when I added my Suspense/Thriller Writers group to his index of Creative Writing Sites on Facebook, and we struck up a sporadic conversation. (Actually, I think sporadic is being generous.) The upshot of the deal was that he would write an article for me about an editor’s pet peeves. How was I to know that Vince is the editor of  the prestigious North American Review, the longest literary magazine in the U.S.? Actually, I should have known the magazine was a big deal — with Google, there is no excuse not do one’s homework. Still, it makes me seem as if I’m way more savvy than I really am. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out Vince’s bloggery, “Submitting to Literary Magazines 101: Professionalism.” And don’t forget to read the comments. Vince was a perfect guest, responding to everyone who commented. Even more thrilling, this is just the first installment of a three-part series.

I’m doing it again — aren’t I? — talking about other people instead of myself. But I don’t know what to say anymore. When I first began this blog, I gave writing tips and suggestions, then somewhere along the way it began to seem presumptuous. Who was I to tell anyone how to write? Two hundred rejections is not an indication of a great writer! At least it’s not an indication of a writer who follows the rules she’s propagating. Then I got the idea that I should write that which only I can write. Again, a presumptuous idea. But I did talk of my WIP (poor stalled creature that it is) until I found a publisher who loved my books More Deaths Than One and A Spark of Heavenly Fire. Then I started promoting. Or at least talking about it. I don’t have a clue how to get from here to selling the thousands of books I should be/could be selling.

Which leaves me to talk about . . .

I don’t know. At least I don’t have to figure it out for a while. Joan De La Haye is going to be stopping by here on May 5th as part of her blog tour. Then Steven Clark Bradley will be here shortly after that talking about the importance of perseverance in writing.

Meantime, I started a new blog — one just for me. I liked the idea of the WordPress P2 theme, (sort of a Twittery thing) and had to try it out. Stop  by and say hi! Talking about presumptuous — I call my new blog The Mind of Pat Bertram. Sheesh. As if anyone cares what goes on inside my head.

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My First Review!!!!!!!

Steven Clark  Bradley, author of Patriot Acts, has written such a marvelous review of my novel More Deaths Than One, that I can’t keep it to myself. I want to shout it to the world! I knew it would be a good review, because several days ago he messaged me on Facebook. This is a transcript of our conversation:

Steven: (4/19/09 10:37 pm) Hi Pat, I wanted to let you know that I am deeply into your book and it is fantastic. You have a great hook, at least it certainly hooked me! You have a natural talent. I usually read a book really quickly when I am going to post it and review it, but your book has my total attention and it reads very well. If you can get a large number of people to know of it, I know you could have a best seller there. Once again, free of flattery, you are one of the smartest writers I have met. I promise, you’ll love what I write about More Deaths Than One.

Pat: (4/20/09 11:51 am) What a wonderful thing to say! I am thrilled you like More Deaths Than One. You’re one of the very few people who have started reading it, so your encouragement is much appreciated.

The question that has haunted me for months is how do I get a large number of people to know of the book. Perhaps someday I will find the answer. Your review will help, that’s for sure!

Steven: (4/20/09 12:14 pm) The only word that comes to mind is Superb! I read until 1:00 Am last night and forced myself to go to bed! Great work!

I think your characters are so interesting and human. I feel I know them well now. Could we call it “What about Bob?” ;>) you’re a really great writer and no reason why you cannot sell thousands of books.

Steven: (4/22/09 1:21 am) Hi Pat, Sorry I have not written, but I have been busy finishing one great novel . . . written by you! I have already posted a review for your novel. I have not read a book that enjoyable in a very long time. You are a natural. I hope you like what I wrote and every word is the truth. I am happy to be your first posted review on Amazon. That gave me great pleasure. Have a great night and thank you for allowing me to share in the mind of Pat Bertram.

Pat: (4/22/09 12:17 pm) Steven, I am sitting here trying to figure out how to thank you for the fantastic review and the wonderful presentation on your blog, but  am touched beyond words. Still, you deserve the words: thank you. Your review was so well done that even I am now anxious to read More Deaths Than One!

Steven’s review: More Death’s Than One

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Developing A Smell-O-Meter: How Do You Tell If What You’ve Written Is Good?

I’m participating in an interesting discussion on Facebook today about  . . . you guessed it! Developing A Smell-O-Meter: How Do You Tell If What You’ve Written Is Good? It’s a topic I’ve been considering a lot now that my books are released and feedback is trickling back to me. I always knew A Spark of Heavenly Fire was good – even when it was bad, I knew it was good. I can’t tell you how I know – probably that smell-o-meter. Or perhaps an ingrained feeling for the flow of a story. That belief kept me going through multiple rewrites and hundreds of rejections. It’s nice to know that agents and publishers do not know what individual readers like. Today, Malcolm R. Campbell, author of The Sun Singer, left me a message on my facebook wall: I just finished reading A SPARK OF HEAVENLY FIRE. When I stay up past my bedtime multiple nights in a row just to read a little bit more, I know I’ve found a winner of a book. Darned good, Pat.

On the other hand, I never got a sense of More Deaths Than One. Even after all the rewrites, it just didn’t seem to be as good as I wanted it to be. I entered it into a contest on Gather.com eighteen months ago, where the first chapter was posted for people to vote on. Lazarus Barnhill, author of The Mecine People and Lacey Took a Holiday, was impressed with that first chapter of More Deaths Than One, and he eventually became one of the book’s first readers. When he finished it, I asked if he was disappointed in the book. He said no and gave a little laugh. When I finally got up the nerve to ask why the laugh, and he said, “I laughed because anyone who knows anything about writing would know how good it is.”

So, apparently my smell-o-meter works only half the time.

As for telling if sentences, words, paragraphs, scenes are any good, it’s mostly a matter of reading them, changing a word, reading them again, changing another word until the piece flows. If the words flow and if the story flows (and if  the story is worth telling), you don’t need a smell-o-meter. It will be good.

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Goddess of Poetry: Patricia Smith

On March 31st Bruce DeSilva, the writing coach at The Associated Press in New York City, posted one of my book trailers on his Facebook profile. He prefaced it with: Check out the trailer for the new book by Facebook goddess Pat Bertram.

I shot back a thank you, with a wry: goddess? I thought the rest of our email conversation noteworthy, and I wanted to share it with you.

Bruce: “The Goddess” is what I call my wife, the poet Patricia Smith. I do NOT throw the term around loosely.

Pat: I am honored. Actually, I was honored even before your explanation, and now even more so.

Bruce: If you want to see Patricia in action — she’s truly incredible — go to this URL and look at the great video. It’s the Borders “poetry open door” site. Believe me, you’ll be very glad you did. http://www.bordersmedia.com/odp/smith.asp

Pat: You’re right, Patricia is incredible. I always thought of poetry as quiet, visual. But hearing and seeing it spoken turns it into something different — something alive, dynamic. I never realized that before.

Bruce: Poetry was originally meant to be spoken out loud. Academics took it over and turned it into something dusty and stuffy. But poets like Patricia are taking it back to its roots and, in the process, getting it a wider audience. Yet Patricia’s work not only works on the stage but on the page. She works not only in free verse but in form, producing great sonnets, sestinas, crowns, etc. She’s a four-time National Poetry Slam champion, but she’s also National Poetry Series winner and a National Book Award finalist. Yes, I’m very proud of her.

Pat: You’re proud of her? I couldn’t tell.

Bruce: There’s another series of videos scheduled to be put up on the site soon, and I’m thrilled that the filmaker, Anthony Tedesco, who had me man a second camera, gave me a camera credit on it.

So, as Bruce said, check out the video of Patricia Smith reading her poetry. You will be glad you did. Border’s Open-Door Poetry site.

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My Novels Did Not Make the Earth Move. Or Did They?

This is the first day of my post-book-launch-week life, and I feel just the same. The past couple of days I felt a bit let down when I realized my book release did not make the earth move. Well, there was that earthquake in Italy, though I don’t think I had anything to do with it. But you never know. If a butterfly flapping a wing in the Amazon can cause a typhoon in Malaysia, perhaps the ripple of my books being released into the atmosphere of the literary universe could have become so magnified as to make the earth quake, but I hope not. I would not want all those deaths and injuries on my conscience.

But today I feel . . . well, I feel released. Getting the books published has been a long, hard journey, from the first word to the final product. A journey that took almost a decade. I have to admit, though, that these past few months have been the hardest — months of always being a step away from publication, months of knowing that the books were almost ready but not quite. But all that is past. As Goethe wrote, “There is only the eternally new now that builds and creates itself out of the elements of the past.”

So now it’s time to build my future out of those past elements, though as what I don’t know. A published author whose books people love? An author who sinks into the slime of “never heard of her”? A desperate self-promoter screaming “looka me, looka me” to an uncaring cybercrowd? Whatever happens, I hope I will handle it with grace.

I’ve already been baptized into the realm of anonymous ratings. I noticed on a couple of sites that my books have a one-and-a-half star rating, which means that two people had to have rated them, one with a single star, one with two stars, yet as far as I know, no one has read my books. A few people might have received their order by now, but no one has emailed me to say what a fool I am to think I could write. On the other hand, no one has emailed me to say they loved the books. Which means . . . nothing.

I know I have an incredible task ahead of me. Promoting a book in today’s market is like tossing a pebble in a gravel pit. Who can find one book or one pebble among so many? And yet, if the sun shines just so, if a spark catches someone’s eye, perhaps it will be found and treasured.

And maybe, just maybe the book will make the earth move.

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“A Spark of Heavenly Fire” Has Been Kindled

This has been an exciting week for me — my books were released in print form , I had a fabulous turnout at my “Hallelujah My Novels Have Finally Been Published! Let’s Party!” party, and now my books have been Kindled, or whatever you call it when they are made available as Kindle books. I almost feel as if that calls for another party, but it took me a couple of months to plan the first, so by the time I give the party, the Kindle books will be old news. I guess I’ll wait until my third book comes out later this year to throw another cyberparty. Should be fun planning it, though, to be honest, I don’t think people will find the release of a third book quite as exciting as the dual release of the first two. Unless, of course, by then I am a celebrated author. (Celebrated by others, I mean, not just me.)

Where to go from here? I was going to reclaim my blog for myself, writing about me and my writing concerns, but to do that, I will have to write. And I will. Eventually. My poor hero is wandering around the extraterrestrial zoo under a tangerine sun. Actually, it’s a terrestrial zoo run by extraterrestrials, but still, he’s a bit miffed with me for leaving him alone all this time. But what could I do? I had a party to plan. And now I have books to promote. So, until I get back to writing, I will continue to have guests on my blog. The next scheduled guest is Marshall Karp, who will be stopping here on April 12 as part of his blog tour.

Oddly enough, though my book launch party was successful and broke my previous “view” record, the new record was broken the very next day because someone “stumbleupon”ed one of my older articles. The power of the internet. Need to get me some of that.

So, the book launch week is over, the party favors put away, the blog blitz done. And here I am. Wondering what’s next.

My Kindle books: A Spark of Heavenly Fire and More Deaths Than One

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Bertram’s Global Blog Blitz

As part of my week-launch book party, today I am appearing as a guest on several different blogs. Please stop by and say hi.

I am in New Zealand with Suzanne Francis, author of the Song of the Arkafina cycle. We are celebrating our shared firsts. Visit us at Scriber Rescribus.

I am in Canada, with A.F. Stewart, author of Inside Realms. We are discussing one of my favorite topics: the new era in publishing. Visit us at A.F. Stewart’s Blog.

I am in Canada, with Cheryl Kaye Tardiff, bestselling author of Whale Song. We will be talking about the psychopathic personality. Visit us at Criminal Minds at Work.

I am in the United States, featured on a blog by Laurie Foston, author of  The Next Phase Chronicles. Visit us at Pat Bertram’s Blog Tour

I am also in the United States with . . . me. I posted a new 100-word story for the occasion. Visit me at Mini Fiction.

(If this doesn’t seem like much of a blitz, several of the people who invited me didn’t get the articles posted. And two got my name wrong. Which just goes to show . . .  I Don’t know what, except that we are in the grip of something beyond our control.  From the first, these two books have attracted problems like metal filings to a magnet. I keep telling myself it means that everything will be wonderful in the end, but until then, metal filings.)

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