life | Bertram's Blog

Taking “S” Things With Gratitude

November 23, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take with gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the ninteenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “S” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Sky. The sky is an illusion that we take for granted, giving us the security of not having to think that we’re standing on the top (or maybe the bottom!) of a ball that is hurtling into eternal space, with only something called gravity to keep us tethered. Today I will take with gratitude the sky, even though right now it is dark and heavy with rain clouds.

Stars. How empty the night sky would be without the stars, and how empty our lives would be without the ability to metaphorically reach for those stars. Something worth being grateful for!

Snakes. While I never take snakes for granted, I am always grateful for the alien beasts. They are so unlike us, (and don’t seem to like us) that they add an aura of mystery to life.

Second chances. Until we are dead, there is always one more day to make a difference, always one more chance to try to become who we were meant to be. And I will always be grateful for these second and third and fourth chances.

Shelter. Even when it isn’t home, having a roof over heads is a blessing. I give thanks every day that I have shelter.

Seeds. Truly a miracle of life, seeds bring forth beauty and food, with only a bit of water, soil and sunshine to nourish them into growth.

Senses. Oh, we do take our senses for granted, as if we will always be able to see, hear, touch, taste, smell. And yet, those senses wane with years. These senses are a gift that come with our bodies (the dead, perhaps, have no need of these physical senses since they might have other senses we know nothing about). I am grateful for the ability to interact with the world in so many different ways.

So, what “S” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.

Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, giving thanks for stars, our senses, snakes, take things with gratitude, the sky. 6 Comments »

Taking “R” Things With Gratitude

November 22, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take with gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the eighteenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “R” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Rest, relaxation, recreation, relief, restoration, refreshment, renewal. There are a host of “r” words that speak of rejuvenation after hard work or stressful times. I am truly grateful and blessed that I have been able to find respite — if only for a few hours at a time — from my cares. I’m also grateful for the resiliency that enabled me to continue going after the death of my life mate/soul mate and which is enabling me to find some sort of renewal on new paths.

Reminiscences. More and more now, I’m remembering the good times with my life mate/soul mate, not just the end times where he was slowly wasting away. I’m grateful there were good memories, though I am careful not to wallow in the past. He is gone, and though I cannot be grateful for that, I am very grateful he is no longer suffering.

Red. What would the world be like without red? Much of our world is steeped in blues and green and tan, and red seems like an exclamation point that reminds us of wonder and joy and passion and warmth. Even though red is not abundant in nature, we still take it for granted, but today, for once, I will take with gratitude all the red in my life.

Reading, of course. I don’t remember a time when I couldn’t read, so it’s easy to take the ability for granted, and yet I am very grateful for being able to read. It was my life for decades — until recently, all I ever really wanted was to read.

So, what “R” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, reading, red, resiliency, take things with gratitude. 3 Comments »

Taking “Q” Things With Gratitude

November 21, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take with gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the seventeenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “Q” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Questions. As a species, we have inquiring minds. We want to learn, to know. And so we ask questions, sometimes of ourselves, sometimes of others, and nowadays, sometimes from search engines. We take these questions for granted simply because we have always questioned. We wonder where we come from, why we are here, the purpose of our lives, and how to create meaning. When something goes wrong, such as the death of a loved one, that questioning spirit goes into overdrive. Even when we find no answers to our questions, we continue our quest. It’s who we are. When we stop questioning, that’s when we need to begin to worry. So today, I will give thanks for all the questions I’ve been asking lately — they prove to me that I am alive even if I don’t know why.

Quantum mechanics. Quantum mechanics teaches us that there are no set answers to our questions. Things change depending on how we view them and even if we view them. If we don’t view things, perhaps they don’t happen, but exist forever as a possibility. This could be the answer to the enigmatic question, “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear, does it make a sound?” According to quantum physics, if no one is around to observe, the tree doesn’t fall but exists only as a possibility of either falling or remaining rooted. Ah the delights of such thought experiments! I don’t think anyone takes quantum mechanics for granted, not even those physicists whose lives are steeped in such esoteric experiments. And except for those same physicists who make a living off quantum mechanics, I doubt anyone gives thanks for quantum theory, but today I will be thankful for such a mind bender.

Quirks and quixoticisms. We all have our quirks and strangely idealistic moments. Even as we rail against these peculiarities in others, we take them for granted in ourselves. But quirks and quixoticisms are things to be taken with gratitude — they make us the unique people we are.

So, what “Q” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: a tree falls in the forest, an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, peace, quantum mechanics, take things with gratitude, things change. 3 Comments »

Taking “P” Things With Gratitude

November 20, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take with gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the sixteenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “P” things. Well, one very important “P” thing.

I am especially grateful for:

Peace. Even if we aren’t beauty pageant contestants, most of us at one time or another have professed to want world peace. We march for peace. We blog for peace. We pray for peace. When we see photos of war in far away places, our hearts go out to the victims. And yet, and yet . . .

All this stated desire for peace makes it seem as if we live in an uneasy world, but according to researchers Bethany Lacina and Nils Petter Gleditsch of the Peace Research Institute Oslo, deaths caused directly by war-related violence in the 21st century have averaged about 55,000 per year worldwide. Compare that to 1.2 million traffic fatalities per year worldwide. Or 295,000 deaths from natural catastrophes worldwide in 2010. Or compare it to 300,000 USA deaths from obesity per year. Or 30,000 USA suicides per year. Lots of dying going on, and very few of it from a lack of world peace.

Still, even with all the “we want world peace” rhetoric and all the war talk and heart-rending photos in the media, we take peace for granted. Most of go to sleep at night secure in the knowledge that unless we were to have a health crisis or get hit by a natural disaster or have a car drive through our bedroom, we will wake up in the morning and be able to go about our daily lives without soldiers sniping at us.

So today (and every day) I will be grateful the peace that is.

So, what “P” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, deaths from natural catastrophes worldwide in 2010, giving thanks, peace, take things with gratitude, total war fatalities in the 21st century, USA suicides per year. Leave a Comment »

Taking “O” Things With Gratitude

November 19, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the fifteenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “O” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Oxygen. Unless one’s lungs are compromised or the air is too polluted to breathe, we take oxygen for granted. It is the most common element on earth, making up almost 50% of the earth’s mass, approximately 25% of the air, 90% of water and 65% of the human body. Without oxygen, we simply could not live. We couldn’t breathe, our bodies would desiccate, and the earth itself would be hostile. As I sip my bottle of spring water and breathe deeply of the mostly fresh air, I will give thanks for the simple and common element that makes our lives possible.

Order. For the most part, lives are ordered even though things often feel chaotic. We are involved in a dance of order. The earth is spinning on its axis at about 1000 miles per hour and it is hurtling around the sun at 67,000 mph. The sun is racing around the Milky Way Galaxy at 483,000 mph. And the galaxy is moving at perhaps 2,237,000 mph. The entire universe is also moving and expanding, at untold speeds. The planets revolve around the sun in such an orderly manner that they don’t bump into one another (at least not any more. It is possible that at the birth of our solar system, many bodies orbited the sun, but they crashed into each other, the stronger ones assimilating or annihilating the weaker ones, until we ended up with the order we have today.) The sun rises every morning (or rather we have the illusion of the sun rising because of course, it is not the sun that rises but the earth that turns) while the moon follows it’s own path. On a more personal plane, we easily fall into habits (and what are habits if not the order of our lives). So today, I will take with gratitude the order that underlies the chaos of my life.

Opportunity. So often we feel as if we are tied to the order of our life, that opportunity has passed us by, but opportunities do occasionally visit our lives. To be honest, often those opportunities seem more like problems, but if we look at the big picture, opportunities abound. It might take more courage than we have to make use of those opportunities, or we might have made other choices, but still, we always have opportunities, if only the opportunity to choose or to turn away. I will try to be more cognizant of the opportunities that present themselves, and be grateful for whatever opportunities come my way.

So, what “O” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, opportunity, order, oxygen, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “N” Things With Gratitude

November 18, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the fourteenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “N” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Nice. Nice is one of those words that we all use, though we tend to think it’s a bit weak and insipid. I like “nice,” though. I like nice people, nice things, nice days. Things don’t always have to be spectacular, nice is often good enough and comfortable besides. So today I will be grateful for all the nice things in my life.

Night. This is the time of year I used to unhappily call the “creeping darkness,” when the nights get progressively longer. And yet, without night, we’d be left with unremitting sun, no moon and stars, a life that would be glaringly the same day after day after day. I won’t be taking night for granted tonight (especially since I hope to be out walking by the light of the mostly-full moon) but will take it for gratitude.

Nonconformity. We take for granted that we can be who we want without having to conform to strict codes of dress or ways of thinking, yet this was not always so. Today I will take with gratitude the nonconformity, the individualism in my life.

Numbers. We take numbers for granted, but what would we do without them? How would we count or account? We’d live in a world of simplicity, of course, where the only counting would be the number of fingers we could hold up. (Though, of course, we wouldn’t have a name for that number!) So today I will be grateful for numbers.

Nutrition. Even in a culture where so many of our foods are lacking in nutrition (and hence can’t really be called food) there are nutritious foods to eat. We take for granted that our grocery stores will always be stocked with nutritious foods, though there could come a time when all our foods are devoid of nutrition. So, until then, I will be grateful for nutrition.

So, what “N” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, being nice, grateful for night, grateful for numbers, grateful for nutrition, nonconformity, take things with gratitude. 2 Comments »

Taking “M” Things With Gratitude

November 17, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the thirteenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “M” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Memory. We take our memories for granted since we remember what we remember and don’t remember that we don’t remember what we no longer remember. The continuity of our very being depends on memory. We define ourselves by what we have done or thought, who we have loved, who has loved us. If we had to approach each moment as if it were fresh with no past, who would we be? Would we still be us? Of course we would still be us, but we might not feel like us. We’d feel . . . fragmented, adrift, alone. Memory connects us not just to our pasts but to each other, and it connects us to those who are no longer with us here on earth. Today I will be taking memory for gratitude, and give thanks that I can remember everything I remember.

Moon. Moons go through cycles, from full moons to gibbous moons to crescent moons to new moons and back through the cycle night after night across the eons. Ancient lore speaks of a time when there was no moon, before the earth captured this satellite into its orbit, but whether the moon has always been a companion to earth or is a relative newcomer, the fact is that the moon now affects us more than we ever know. As an interesting coincidence, tonight is the full moon. According to Mystic Mamma, “The Full Moon in Taurus suggests relaxing and being present with sensations and the sensual delights such as delicious organic foods, drinks, fragrance and the atmosphere which evokes a mood of gratitude for what and who is in your life that is valuable.” The bold highlight is theirs. Seems fitting that this month (this moon) I am evoking a mood of gratitude for the moon and for everything in my life that is valuable.

Miracles. We take life’s little miracles for granted. This has been a warm November, even for the desert, and today I happened to notice a both a white iris in bloom and a fiery red rose, which reminded me that we often can’t predict the joys that life will bring or when life will bring them. Even if these flowers bloomed because of turmoil in the earth’s ecosystem, they are still miracles. Other miracles are the connections we feel when we exchange smiles or laughter; the miracle of reading — we can read the strange symbols called the alphabet, and understand what is in a writer’s mind; the miracle of the internet. What I write here, people all over the world can read. Truly a miracle! So today I will be taking for gratitude life’s little miracles (though truly, is there such a thing as a little miracle?).

So, what “M” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, full moon in Taurus, giving thanks, grateful for memory, life's miracles, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “L” Things With Gratitude

November 16, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the twelfth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “L” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Life. We generally take life for granted. After losing someone important to us, we pay attention to life, either grateful we still have it or regretful that the dead don’t, but gradually we slip back into taking life for granted. It makes sense — we live life, though we don’t truly know what it is, why it is, or where it comes from. Most people think they know, but truly all we have are beliefs if we’re religious or theories if we’re scientific. Me? I’m trying just to be, to live, and to take my life with gratitude.

Laughter. Laughter is another of those things we take for granted, probably because laughter is a spontaneous reaction. If something is funny, we laugh. If we’re enjoying ourselves, we laugh. We seldom laugh when we are alone, which is too bad. Among other things, laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, increases memory, improves alertness and boosts creativity. Apparently, though, voluntary laughter (faked laughter) has just as many benefits, so perhaps someday (when no one is around to hear) I will learn to laugh alone. Meantime, I will take any laughter I can get with gratitude.

Light. Light is probably the thing we take most for granted. Electric light, firelight, starlight, sunlight, moonlight, ambient light, spectrum of light (color). Light just is. Today (and every day) I will take light for gratitude, and be grateful I can see the many colorful effects of light.

Learning. We are creatures with immense potential for learning, yet we so often take that ability for granted. Learning comes naturally, whether it’s learning song lyrics or how to use a new device. We just take for granted that with a bit of focus, we will learn. It’s almost inconceivable for us not to learn. So I will learn to take this ability for gratitude.

Love. There are so many kinds of love — romantic love, self-love, and motherly love; love of books, music, art; joie de vivre; friendship — that it’s hard not to take at least some form of love for granted. Today, and all days, I will take the love that comes my way with gratitude.

So, what “L” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, grateful for life, grateful for light, grateful for love, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “K” Things With Gratitude

November 15, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the eleventh day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “K” things.

I am especially grateful for:

Kindness. We are all kinder than we think we are, though often that kindness is offhand since we become too distracted by the demands of our lives to focus on others. I was fortunate to find much kindness online after the death of my life mate/soul mate. Because I blogged about the maelstrom of emotions we call grief, trying to make sense of what I was going through, I met others who were dealing with the same process. The kindness of these strangers, these women I’ve never met, gave me the courage to embrace the agony of losing my mate, to face it head on, arms open wide. They gave me hope when it seemed I’d never move past the agony of loss, helped me make sense of the senselessness of death (or at least to accept it). They opened their hearts to me. I never took their kindness for granted — I appreciated every word of support — I’ve even expressed my appreciation, but today I want to make it official that I am not taking kindness for granted, but am taking it for gratitude.

Kindred spirits: Those women (and a few men) who offered support in my grief were kindred spirits, walking the same path I did, feeling the same losses, honoring our dead with our sorrow. I am very grateful to these kindred spirits and to the authors (kindred spirits indeed!) who have enriched my life with their words.

Knowledge. We are all knowledgeable in many ways, though we often take this knowledge for granted. We know how to walk, yet only a few of us ever remember the laborious process of learning first how to crawl and then how to stand on our own two feet. I am not one of those who remember, so I tend to take this basic knowledge for granted, as I do most of what I know. I know how to read and write, to add and subtract, to talk and listen. I know how it feels to dance and to grieve, to love and to laugh. I know even more esoteric things, such as mythology, secret histories, quantum mechanics (well, not a lot, just the basics, which I learned for the fun of it). I am always seeking more knowledge in my quest for wisdom, so I tend to take for granted what I have already learned. But today, I will take my knowledge for gratitude.

Kilter. For the most part, contrary to popular belief and Murphy’s law, things are generally in order and remain there until entropy enters the picture. A friend of mine signs her emails, “The universe is unfolding as it should.” If this is true, then things are, by definition, in kilter. (Speaking of knowledge, we can’t always take for granted that the “knowledge” we come across is true. For example, if you Google “kilter,” the first definition you will find is: out of harmony or balance. This is, in fact, the definition of “out of kilter.” “Kilter” means in order or in balance.)

Knobs. I take knobs for granted, but they sure do make it easier to open cabinets and drawers, so today, I will take knobs for gratitude.

So, what “K” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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Posted in culture, life. Tags: an attitude of gratitude, being grateful, giving thanks, kilter, kindness of strangers, kindred spirits, take things with gratitude. 1 Comment »

Taking “J” Things With Gratitude

November 14, 2013 — Pat Bertram

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. ~~ G. K. Chesterton

For the rest of November, I’m going to take for gratitude some of those things I often take for granted — an entire alphabet’s worth! Since today is the tenth day of this surge of gratitude, I am giving thanks for “J” things. Well, one “J” thing.

I am especially grateful for:

100_1807a Jeff. Although I never took Jeff — my life mate/soul mate — for granted, somehow I always took for granted that we’d be together. Even while he was dying, I took for granted that such was the way things always would be — he dying, me struggling to live. And even at the end, I took for granted that somehow he’d still be in my life, as if he would be in another room, perhaps. After he took his last breath, I was stunned by the absolute feeling of “goneness” I felt. It wasn’t as if he were in another room. It was as if an immense crater had been dug out of my life, my heart, my soul, leaving behind . . . nothing.

Even though I don’t feel him in my life any more, even though I can barely remember what our shared life was like, I always take him for gratitude. I am grateful I knew him, grateful (and honored) that he shared his life and death with me, grateful I once was so connected to another human being that his death left a hole in my life that will never be filled. I am grateful for every shared smile, every hug, every act of caring. I am grateful I found someone who understood me and knew what I meant when I spoke.

I am grateful for our electric conversations that lasted hours, days, a lifetime. We didn’t try to convince the other of our position — we each brought truth and thought to the conversation, and together we created a greater reality. There was no reason to argue — it was never about his opinion versus mine. It was about the truth — the truth as far as we could reconstruct it together. And oh, I am so grateful for that truth!

I am grateful for the time he spent with me. I am grateful for the movies we watched together, the books we shared, the ideas we developed, the businesses we created. I am grateful he stayed with me as long as possible, long enough to say everything that needed to be said.

I am grateful he set me free. I might have had to spend the rest of my years caring for a helpless invalid, but he left my life as quickly and as gracefully as he entered — between one heartbeat and the next.

I am even grateful he set me on my current path. He once told me it bothered him that because of his illness and our constrained lives, I’d lost the spontaneity I once had (ironically, that spontaneity had come from the security his presence engendered in me). I am now trying to get back that spontaneity, and will spend the rest of my life as untethered as possible.

I am grateful I once was loved. I am grateful I loved.

I am grateful that Jeff was such a major part of my life.

So, what “J” things are you taking for gratitude today?

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