writing | Bertram's Blog

Goddess of Poetry: Patricia Smith

April 20, 2009 — Pat Bertram

On March 31st Bruce DeSilva, the writing coach at The Associated Press in New York City, posted one of my book trailers on his Facebook profile. He prefaced it with: Check out the trailer for the new book by Facebook goddess Pat Bertram.

I shot back a thank you, with a wry: goddess? I thought the rest of our email conversation noteworthy, and I wanted to share it with you.

Bruce: “The Goddess” is what I call my wife, the poet Patricia Smith. I do NOT throw the term around loosely.

Pat: I am honored. Actually, I was honored even before your explanation, and now even more so.

Bruce: If you want to see Patricia in action — she’s truly incredible — go to this URL and look at the great video. It’s the Borders “poetry open door” site. Believe me, you’ll be very glad you did. http://www.bordersmedia.com/odp/smith.asp

Pat: You’re right, Patricia is incredible. I always thought of poetry as quiet, visual. But hearing and seeing it spoken turns it into something different — something alive, dynamic. I never realized that before.

Bruce: Poetry was originally meant to be spoken out loud. Academics took it over and turned it into something dusty and stuffy. But poets like Patricia are taking it back to its roots and, in the process, getting it a wider audience. Yet Patricia’s work not only works on the stage but on the page. She works not only in free verse but in form, producing great sonnets, sestinas, crowns, etc. She’s a four-time National Poetry Slam champion, but she’s also National Poetry Series winner and a National Book Award finalist. Yes, I’m very proud of her.

Pat: You’re proud of her? I couldn’t tell.

Bruce: There’s another series of videos scheduled to be put up on the site soon, and I’m thrilled that the filmaker, Anthony Tedesco, who had me man a second camera, gave me a camera credit on it.

So, as Bruce said, check out the video of Patricia Smith reading her poetry. You will be glad you did. Border’s Open-Door Poetry site.

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Posted in internet, life, writing. Tags: Broder's Open-Door Poetry, Bruce DeSilva, National Poetry Slam champion, Patricia Smith, poetry. Leave a Comment »

Conversation With Marshall Karp, Author of Flipping Out

April 12, 2009 — Pat Bertram

Marshall Karp, the author of Flipping Out, is an award winning former advertising executive, a playwright, a screenwriter, and a novelist. He has also written, produced, and executive produced TV shows for all the major networks.

Bertram: I enjoyed reading Flipping Out. I must admit, you do know how to turn a phrase. You have a marvelous ear for dialogue, and a knack for one-liners. One, especially, sticks out as being memorable. The cops, Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs, are ready to enter a house owned by a murdered celebrity. Terry looks up at the towering stucco columns and says, “Rather phallic. I think they’re art dicko.”

Marshall: Thank you for the kind words about my ear. That would be the left one. The right one is even more amazing. It can actually hear a tree falling in the forest even if I’m not there. Funny thing about art dicko. In my first draft, as they’re about to bust through the door, I wrote something that my editor felt was too close to what Terry had said the first time he saw that house. She told me to come up with something better. Who knew it would turn out to be one of the more memorable lines in the book. I just don’t want it on my tombstone. Marshall Karp, that guy who wrote art dicko.

Bertram: Is there anything in particular you’d like me to say my review of Flipping Out? Any particular passage you’re particularly proud of?

Marshall: Gosh, blurbers have asked me that, but never a reviewer. For sure, don’t mention art dicko. I wouldn’t want Terry’s lapse into sophomoric humor to define me. In fact, few lines from books do justice to the entire book, although an advance reviewer on Amazon picked up an exchange between Terry and Marilyn that tickled me.

My favorite reviews are those that capture what I hope to do best. My goal is to develop characters you just want to be with over and over again. Some authors have had success with worn down, burned out cynical cops, but I wanted real people. I hang out with real cops, and they are incredibly funny – in that business they have to be – it keeps them sane. So I made Mike and Terry human before I made them cops.

I write for people who want three-dimensional characters, real laugh-out-loud humor that is organic to the situation, and plot twists right up to the final pages. And while I make no guarantees, I’d say that a steady diet of my books can also help you lose weight, double your income, and improve your sex life.

I hope that helps.

Bertram: I’m going to use the last paragraph to finish of my review, if you don’t mind. It’s a great quote.

I am so sick of the stereotypical cynical, burned out cop that it’s refreshing to meet some fictional ones who aren’t.

Marshall: I’ve been reading some of your 100 word stories. They’re terrific. How do you do it? It’s an art form (literary form?) I had never heard of before. I was talking to JA Konrath today and saying that I’m not sure I know how to write a short story. I used to write 30-second commercials, but now I’m stuck in the long form. Plus once you wind me up, I tend to get going. That’s probably why my first book was 632 pages.

Bertram: I can’t write regular short stories, maybe because I don’t like to read them, but for some reason I can do the 100-word ones. They are called drabbles, and stemmed from sci-fi conventions where they developed from a novel writing contest.

With a drabble, you have to find the essence — which is why there are so few stories on my Mini Fiction blog. It’s hard to do. And then you have to have a beginning, a middle, an end and a change in the life of a character.

I think of it as a prose haiku.

Marshall: Well, you got me with prose haiku. Here’s an exercise I did at a conference. I don’t know if it fits the drabble parameters — the challenge was slightly different — but it’s only 95 words. So humor me, and tell me if you think it does.

When you work homicide in Southern California you see your fair share of dead celebrities, but this… this is the first one that ever really got to me.

There were deep ligature marks on his white skin, and his once perfect body had been gracelessly dragged to the side of his private pool and left to be further ravaged by an unwilling accomplice 93 million miles away.

“Who,” I sputtered, as the hot Pacific breeze greeted me with the aroma of my first morning cup of death, “who the hell would want to murder Shamu?”

Bertram: It is an excellent blurb that caught my attention, but it’s more of a scenario than a story.

We don’t know who Shamu is, so the last sentence isn’t much of a punch line. And drabbles seem to need a punch line at the end.

Marshall: Shamu is a pretty famous whale. You’re forgiven for not knowing. Damn those pop culture references. They don’t always work.

Bertram: Then I stand corrected. Your story works for a drabble. In fact, it’s very good. But use those extra five words to show that it’s a whale for us ignorant people. Thank you for talking to me. It’s been a pleasure.

Marshall: And thank you for helping support my life of crime.

See also:
Titles: What Makes a Good One by Marshall Karp
Review of Flipping Out review by Pat Bertram
How to Do a Blog Tour by Marshall Karp

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Posted in books, culture, writing. Tags: drabble, Flipping Out, interview, Marshall Karp, Shamu. 3 Comments »

Titles: What Makes a Good One

April 11, 2009 — Pat Bertram

My guest today is Marshall Karp, an award winning former advertising executive, a playwright, a screenwriter, and a novelist. He has also written, produced, and executive produced TV shows for all the major networks. Karp tells us what makes a good title:

1. Short.

That’s my first thought. Why? Because your title is not just words. It’s a major design element on your cover – often even more than the illustration. And given the space limitations, the designer can do a lot more with one, two, or three words, than with ten. Also, picture your cover reduced to a thumbnail on Amazon. Too many words become unreadable. That said, I think my title HOW TO EARN MILLIONS, LOSE WEIGHT, AND DEVELOP KILLER ABS WITHOUT WORKING, DIETING OR EXERCISING would sell a ton. I just have to write the book.

2. Intriguing.

I think it helps if your title makes prospective buyers wonder what that book might actually be about. My first title, THE RABBIT FACTORY, is probably my best. It just seemed to grab people. And the chalk outline of a six-foot rabbit on the cover added to the mystery. Note: a year before publication another author used the same title. I was crushed, but my publisher told me that titles are copyrighted, and there are lots of duplicate titles. THE RABBIT FACTORY, he said, was too good to change. He was right. The title definitely helped sell the book, both to the trade and to readers.

3. Not generic.

My second book, BLOODTHIRSTY, is about murder by exsanguination. I was so excited when I came up with a title that described the plot in one word that I never thought twice about it. In hindsight, I should have. Blood is a little — make that a lot — overused. But the designer loved having a word that was loaded with visual possibilities.

4. It’s a title. It’s not the book.

The title does not have to communicate what the book is about. It has to make the reader want to buy the book to find out what the book is about. Sorry if that sounds like I’m talking down to you, but it’s a basic fact that I was late in learning, and still have trouble dealing with.

5. If you’re lucky, the title will keep on changing.

English is not the universal language. So while THE RABBIT FACTORY is called THE RABBIT FACTORY in the UK and literally translated to IL MISTERO DEL CONIGLIO SCOMPARSO in Italy, it’s CARTOON in France, and in Dutch it’s loosely translated as FATAL ATTRACTION.

My latest book is about a group of cop wives who are getting murdered. They also have a house flipping business together, and my US publisher is very happy with the title FLIPPING OUT. But my UK publisher said the Flipping part wouldn’t resonate. I got in touch with my inner Agatha Christie and reluctantly offered up THE DEAD WIVES CLUB. They loved it.

But months before either book was ready for market there was a lot of confusion among readers, booksellers, and reviewers. Even when I tried to make it perfectly clear on my website that it was the same book, going by two different titles, people kept asking me how two different books could have the same synopsis?

Finally, my UK publisher agreed, and now, FLIPPING OUT is called FLIPPING OUT in the US and the UK.

6. The Airport Test.

Titles are very personal and intensely subjective. It’s hard for an author to subtract his or her own investment in a title when making the final decision. So try putting your prospective title to this test.

Narrow down your titles to a small handful. Then find someone whose opinion you value and say this: You’re in an airport. You have 30 seconds to buy a book. If you saw this title, does it (a) intrigue you to want to learn more, or does it (b) just grab you?

You want a title where the respondent says (b). Because the best thing a title can do is grab a reader in a way that makes her want to grab the book.

One lucky commenter, chosen at random, will win a free copy of Flipping Out. If you do not win, click here for your consolation prize:

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Posted in blogging, books, How to, writing. Tags: choosing a title, Flipping Out, Marshall Karp, The Rabbit Factory, titles. 26 Comments »

Steel Waters by Ken Coffman — a Sort-of Review

April 10, 2009 — Pat Bertram

When I first saw the movie Lone Hero starring Lou Diamond Phillips, I wasn’t impressed. It seemed trite — a retelling of High Noon with outlaw bikers set against the background of a wild west show. Yet the next morning, as the story slowly sank into the backwaters of my mind, one scene after another percolated to the surface, and I found myself smiling at the sly humor and wry nuances I was discovering. Lone Hero is now one of my favorite movies, one that gets richer with each viewing.

This retrospective appreciation has happened with a few other films, but I until recently I never read a book that became better with aging. Most go in one synapse and out the other before sinking into oblivion, but Steel Waters by Ken Coffman refuses to stay there.

Coffman’s wry humor and gritty descriptions immediately captivated me, but his hero didn’t. I have no use for characters (or people) who bring about their own miseries. Glen Wilson walked away from his wife and farm for no other reason than because he thought needed to. When he ended up in a Bolivian jail, I didn’t care. And neither did he. He seems to have a great capacity for accepting the status quo until suddenly he wants something else. (Usually without knowing what that something else is.)

Still, Glen Wilson was unique and compelling enough for me to keep reading. He is a mixture of opposites: hard-boiled and quixotic, opportunistic and idealistic, down-to-earth and impractical. And I enjoyed the book.

As Steel Waters percolates, however, I see much that I missed. Sure, Glen Wilson brings about his own predicament, but he is a victim of his own unresolved wants. They pull at him, buffeting him from one wild adventure to the other. The book has an episodic feel to it, but all mythic journeys do, and in the end, that is what Steel Waters is: mythic.

You are familiar with the mythic journey template. It’s the basic format of Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz, The Hunt for Red October. An ordinary person answers the call to adventure. Meets mentors, allies, enemies. Passes tests. Undergoes the supreme ordeal, seizes the reward, and finally returns home — a hero in truth. Or not. Coffman doesn’t follow the format exactly. Glen Wilson may or may not be a hero. He may or may not be changed. This is the beauty of the mythic journey template — it is infinitely changeable without ever losing its power.

So now I have to go back and reread Steel Waters with this percolation in mind, see the layering of the nuances and the humor. I’ll let you know if it’s as good the second time around as it is in memory.

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Posted in books, culture, fiction, writing. Tags: Glen Wilson, High Noon, Ken Coffman, Lone Hero, Lou Diamond Phillips, Star Wars, Steel Waters, The Hunt for Red October, The Wizard of Oz. 8 Comments »

My Novels Did Not Make the Earth Move. Or Did They?

April 7, 2009 — Pat Bertram

This is the first day of my post-book-launch-week life, and I feel just the same. The past couple of days I felt a bit let down when I realized my book release did not make the earth move. Well, there was that earthquake in Italy, though I don’t think I had anything to do with it. But you never know. If a butterfly flapping a wing in the Amazon can cause a typhoon in Malaysia, perhaps the ripple of my books being released into the atmosphere of the literary universe could have become so magnified as to make the earth quake, but I hope not. I would not want all those deaths and injuries on my conscience.

But today I feel . . . well, I feel released. Getting the books published has been a long, hard journey, from the first word to the final product. A journey that took almost a decade. I have to admit, though, that these past few months have been the hardest — months of always being a step away from publication, months of knowing that the books were almost ready but not quite. But all that is past. As Goethe wrote, “There is only the eternally new now that builds and creates itself out of the elements of the past.”

So now it’s time to build my future out of those past elements, though as what I don’t know. A published author whose books people love? An author who sinks into the slime of “never heard of her”? A desperate self-promoter screaming “looka me, looka me” to an uncaring cybercrowd? Whatever happens, I hope I will handle it with grace.

I’ve already been baptized into the realm of anonymous ratings. I noticed on a couple of sites that my books have a one-and-a-half star rating, which means that two people had to have rated them, one with a single star, one with two stars, yet as far as I know, no one has read my books. A few people might have received their order by now, but no one has emailed me to say what a fool I am to think I could write. On the other hand, no one has emailed me to say they loved the books. Which means . . . nothing.

I know I have an incredible task ahead of me. Promoting a book in today’s market is like tossing a pebble in a gravel pit. Who can find one book or one pebble among so many? And yet, if the sun shines just so, if a spark catches someone’s eye, perhaps it will be found and treasured.

And maybe, just maybe the book will make the earth move.

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Posted in books, internet, life, writing. Tags: book release, post-publication, published author, self-promoter, writing. 7 Comments »

“A Spark of Heavenly Fire” Has Been Kindled

April 5, 2009 — Pat Bertram

This has been an exciting week for me — my books were released in print form , I had a fabulous turnout at my “Hallelujah My Novels Have Finally Been Published! Let’s Party!” party, and now my books have been Kindled, or whatever you call it when they are made available as Kindle books. I almost feel as if that calls for another party, but it took me a couple of months to plan the first, so by the time I give the party, the Kindle books will be old news. I guess I’ll wait until my third book comes out later this year to throw another cyberparty. Should be fun planning it, though, to be honest, I don’t think people will find the release of a third book quite as exciting as the dual release of the first two. Unless, of course, by then I am a celebrated author. (Celebrated by others, I mean, not just me.)

Where to go from here? I was going to reclaim my blog for myself, writing about me and my writing concerns, but to do that, I will have to write. And I will. Eventually. My poor hero is wandering around the extraterrestrial zoo under a tangerine sun. Actually, it’s a terrestrial zoo run by extraterrestrials, but still, he’s a bit miffed with me for leaving him alone all this time. But what could I do? I had a party to plan. And now I have books to promote. So, until I get back to writing, I will continue to have guests on my blog. The next scheduled guest is Marshall Karp, who will be stopping here on April 12 as part of his blog tour.

Oddly enough, though my book launch party was successful and broke my previous “view” record, the new record was broken the very next day because someone “stumbleupon”ed one of my older articles. The power of the internet. Need to get me some of that.

So, the book launch week is over, the party favors put away, the blog blitz done. And here I am. Wondering what’s next.

My Kindle books: A Spark of Heavenly Fire and More Deaths Than One

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Posted in blogging, books, internet, life, writing. Tags: book launch, cyberparty, Kindle books, Marshall Karp, stumbleupon, view record. 6 Comments »

Bertram’s Global Blog Blitz

April 4, 2009 — Pat Bertram

As part of my week-launch book party, today I am appearing as a guest on several different blogs. Please stop by and say hi.

I am in New Zealand with Suzanne Francis, author of the Song of the Arkafina cycle. We are celebrating our shared firsts. Visit us at Scriber Rescribus.

I am in Canada, with A.F. Stewart, author of Inside Realms. We are discussing one of my favorite topics: the new era in publishing. Visit us at A.F. Stewart’s Blog.

I am in Canada, with Cheryl Kaye Tardiff, bestselling author of Whale Song. We will be talking about the psychopathic personality. Visit us at Criminal Minds at Work.

I am in the United States, featured on a blog by Laurie Foston, author of The Next Phase Chronicles. Visit us at Pat Bertram’s Blog Tour.

I am also in the United States with . . . me. I posted a new 100-word story for the occasion. Visit me at Mini Fiction.

(If this doesn’t seem like much of a blitz, several of the people who invited me didn’t get the articles posted. And two got my name wrong. Which just goes to show . . . I Don’t know what, except that we are in the grip of something beyond our control. From the first, these two books have attracted problems like metal filings to a magnet. I keep telling myself it means that everything will be wonderful in the end, but until then, metal filings.)

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Posted in blogging, books, internet, life, writing. Tags: A.F. Stewart, blog tour, Cheryl Kaye Tardif, Inside Realms, Laurie Foston, Song of the Arkafina, Suzanne Francis, The Next Phase Chronicles, Whale Song. 2 Comments »

Blog Exchange with Pierre Dominique Roustan

April 2, 2009 — Pat Bertram

As part of my week-long book launch party, Pierre Dominique Roustan and I are exchanging blogs. (You can find me at Writing and Reading.) Pierre writes:

Wow, this is a nice place you got here, Pat. It’s not every day I get to step out of my pad at the “Writing and Reading” Universe and explore. Allow me to introduce myself then! Pierre Dominique Roustan. Yes, you readers out there can say it: it’s a cool name. And that’s because I’m cool. I’m a 2^nd generation Hispanic, born in Chicago, Illinois, son to a fiery Puerto Rican woman and a tough-as-nails Nicaraguan man. And, yet, you ask why I have such a French name…. Because my dad’s half-French. Yes. It’s true.

I’ve been writing ever since I remembered being able to walk. It was one of those things you just couldn’t get away from, you know? My parents had me tested for giftedness, and the results came back showing I was gifted. What gift(s) I had? Wasn’t sure. Didn’t care. So much so that I sometimes omit the pronouns when I write. However, my parents cared, teachers cared, others cared; and they saw something in me. It didn’t take me long to realize that I loved to write-poetry, fiction, nonfiction, anything. I just had this need to fill the white space on a piece of paper with some sort of manifestation of my imagination (that’s a mouthful there), so much so that I followed my heart and earned a B.A. in Creative Writing at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

As I stand now before you, I’m a published author. My debut will be released in December. The number of people I could thank outnumber my fingers and toes and the fingers and toes of my family. I’m not exaggerating. I think it’s fair that I give you some insight into my journey of publication, though….

I write urban fantasy and thrillers (and sometimes those two genres go together for me). My debut is a fast-paced thriller known as THE CAIN LETTERS. Look for it. However, it wasn’t my first finished manuscript, nor my first project.

I actually wrote my first ‘story’ at the tender age of 10, I believe. It was about 20 pages long. The next ‘story’ I wrote landed me a 200-pager. I can’t remember exactly how old I was, but I think I was a freshman in high school. I then wrote another story that stretched to 300 pages long. Here’s the real kicker, though; the next project I took on actually pulled in about 540 pages…. 154,000 words, and the best part about that was I, initially, thought that was too short!

Go figure. I guess I was long-winded.

And then came THE CAIN LETTERS. At 74,000 words, it moved fast. I had learned a lot about storytelling, about pacing, about plot, about character. THE CAIN LETTERS is a culmination of all that I’ve learned.

For those aspiring writers out there, let me tell you: following a dream kills. The good thing, though, is your passion for writing makes you reborn every single time. Through every rejection, every bout with writer’s block, every setback, anything getting in your way, that desire to write brings you back up. Every single time. Let me tell you how dreaming kills: I received over 100 rejections for THE CAIN LETTERS, about 97% of them from literary agents. And those 100 rejections were spread over one year, almost to the day. The middle of March, 2008, was when I finished the manuscript. I just signed my contract with Eirelander Publishing about four days ago-without a literary agent. Funny how time flies.

You never know what’ll happen. I just learned to keep trying. It paid off.

That’s all I got for all of you, readers. Give it up for Pat Bertram as well! Put your hands together. It has been an honor being her guest, and do give her the honor of reading her work as well. Feel free to make as many comments as you like! Pat and I will be checking. Questions? Concerns? Coffee? Cupcakes? Oh, and stop by “Writing and Reading”, just to check out the scene, check out the pad, http://writingandreading.today.com. I’ll see you later. Taco Supreme.

Pierre is also a guest on my Dragon My Feet blog. See: The Cain Letters and Interview with Pierre Dominique Roustan.

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Posted in blogging, books, fiction, writing. Tags: aspiring writers, blog exchange, Pierre Dominique Roustan, The Cain letters. 1 Comment »

More Deaths Than One Book Trailer, Fun, and Games

April 1, 2009 — Pat Bertram

Fun and games!

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More Deaths Than One Word Seek Puzzle:

Click on the cover for a Jigsaw Puzzle:

You can find More Deaths than one at Amazon:

More Deaths Than One
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The print version is also available at a discount from Second Wind Publishing:

More Deaths Than One

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Click here to download 30% of More Deaths Than One free at Smashwords or to buy any ebook format, including Kindle.

Posted in blogging, books, internet, writing. Tags: book launch, book trailer, cyberparty, jigsaw puzzle, More Deaths Than One, online party, party, solitaire, word seek puzzle. 2 Comments »

A Spark of Heavenly Fire Puzzles, Games, Sudoku

April 1, 2009 — Pat Bertram

My week-long “HALLELUJAH! MY NOVELS HAVE FINALLY BEEN PUBLISHED! LET’S PARTY!” party continues with more fun and games.

A Spark of Heavenly Fire Sudoku. You work these exactly as you do number Sudoku, but you use the letters from A Spark of Fire. (A, S, P, R, K, O, F, I, E)

You can work the sudoku puzzles online:

First Sudoku
Second Sudoku
Third Sudoku
Fourth Sudoku

Click here for solutions:

Cryptogram:

To break the code, look for repeated letters. E, T, A, O, N, R, and I are the most often used letters. A single letter is usually A or I. OF, IS, and IT are common 2-letter words. Try THE or AND for a 3-letter group.

EBGUB CO CY GDGUV EUNG ZLKRY’O BGRUE R OXRUF LA BGRDGYHV ACUG, ZBCLB HCGO ILUKRYE CY EBG MULRI IRVHCMBE LA XULOXGUCEV, MNE ZBCLB FCYIHGO NX RYI MGRKO RYI MHRQGO CY EBG IRUF BLNU LA RIDGUOCEV. (ZROBCYMELY DUDCYM)

More Puzzles:

A Spark of Heavenly Fire Word Scramble

A Spark of Heavenly Fire Gems

A Spark of Heavenly Fire Solitaire

Let’s have some fun
In a different guise.
Click on the cover
For a wonderful surprise.