I can think of a lot of animals that would make the worst pets. Even without really thinking, the wooly mammoth, the saber tooth tiger, and the pterosaur come to mind. Truly, not good pets. For one, their size would make them hard to house. Sure, you could keep them as outside pets, but you’d still have the problem of feeding them. A mammoth eats about 400 pounds of vegetation a day, which would be complicated even in the country, but in the city? Couldn’t be done. And then there’s the pterosaur. With a wingspan of 35 feet and an exceedingly high metabolism, they need to eat continually. And they eat meat. So what happens when they run out of meat, when your neighbors have all mysteriously disappeared, and there’s only you left? I tend to think there wouldn’t be a whole lot of affection going on. Same with saber tooth tigers — high metabolism, voracious meat eater, and oh, yeah — those teeth.
Good thing all those creatures are extinct. But there are some extant creatures that would be every bit as bad. A blue whale, for example. It weighs more than thirty elephants. Yikes. Where would you keep such a thing? I imagine a goldfish bowl would be a tad small. A hippopotamus is much smaller than the blue whale, but due to their bite force and jaw structure, they’re considered one of the most dangerous creatures in the world, so not good pet material. The mosquito, not surprisingly, is the most dangerous creature of all, killing as many as a million people a year. (Humans only manage to kill about a half a million.) Besides the lethality, there doesn’t seem to be any way to domesticate a mosquito, so when considering the worst animals for pets, the mosquito would have to top the list. They might be easy to feed — I’m sure you have a bit of blood to spare — but keeping them caged would present a problem.
The best pets, at least in my opinion, are the legendary kind. Dragons. Unicorns. Griffins. Pegasi. Even though some of those creatures are said to be dangerous (red-hot breath anyone?) their non-corporeal aspects make them easy to take care of. And ignore. I’m not one to enjoy sharing my space with other creatures — large or small — so for someone like me, any of these fantastic entities would make a good pet.
For you and everyone else, the best pet, of course, is the one you love the most.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.
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