A big thank you to everyone who responded to my post Enabling or Decency and Caring?, offering support and advise. I still am not sure what to do about the situation, but I am taking all your comments into consideration before deciding how to handle the problem.
During all these years of grief over the loss of my life mate/soul mate, I found comfort telling myself, “I am where I am supposed to be.” I don’t believe in fate, don’t believe that our lives are decided for us (at least, not always), and yet, there is serenity to be found in accepting that perhaps the universe is unfolding as is should. It’s possible this drama of mine is also unfolding as it should. It is bringing me closer to being emotionally free of a conflict that has burdened me almost my whole life. At the very least, talking about it has brought me peace.
I do not think I am in a dangerous situation (though of course, any situation has its dangers). I do not think I will be hurt and, despite my brief outbursts of unadmirable behavior, I do not think I will hurt anyone else.
I have finally come to an understanding that I did not create the problem, and that there is nothing I can do to change it. I can change myself, though, to the extent that any of us can change ourselves. I can make sure that I take care of myself, relieve stress with physical activities, lead my own life as much as possible under the circumstances, and most of all, find solace in the realization that all things come to an end.
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Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Follow Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.
Bertram's Blog 
January 20, 2014 at 9:14 pm
This was a wonderful post, Pat. You have the perfect attitude. You can’t change the world, but you can change how you react to it. Good for you! Bless you!
January 21, 2014 at 5:33 pm
Thank you, Coco. Good to know that someone thinks I’m doing the right thing.
January 21, 2014 at 7:31 am
OIh boy, Pat. Your journey is really something! I have no advice to offer and only admiration for how candid you are in your posts. I have learned much from and mused on more from your posts – even if it has been a very long time since I last made a comment.
Here is a resource for autosomatic practice which I have found for me, in trying to find meaning and peace in my own travels, to be extremely helpful. Phil Walsh, who I have had the extreme good fortune of being connected with for a while is what I believe to be a genuine sage and a mencsh of the highest order. If you feel inclined to take a look, I hope you find some wisdom within:
http://www.autosomatictraining.com/blog/phil-walsh/autosomatic-training-and-autosomatic-practice
Know that you are in my thoughts often, and serve as one my inspirations.
Malene
January 21, 2014 at 5:32 pm
I’ve bookmarked this to study further. It sounds like a good idea — I always liked the possibility of retraining our memories so that they are simply memories without negativity attached.
January 22, 2014 at 7:07 am
🙂