I went to the doctor today for my pre-op appointment in preparation for surgery next Tuesday. Because there is a bit of irritation around one of the insertion points of the external fixator, he decided to reschedule the surgery for tomorrow. I planned to do a countdown this coming week, counting, down the days until the fixator is removed, so here is the countdown to surgery:
One.
I thought this would be an unsad day because of the doctor’s and lab appointments, and that busyness would have kept me from feeling the grief of this day — the seventh anniversary of Jeff’s death — but at the moment I am too excited to feel sad. I refuse to think about the coming weeks (and months!) and the pain that will be involved in trying to get my hand back into its proper position and getting some mobility in my wrist, but I won’t have to think about any of that for at least another week. After the fixator is removed, they will bandage the puncture wounds and put a soft cast around the wrist to give it a bit of support for the next week. And after that. . . well, I’ll go from there, dealing with whatever it is I need to deal with.
Although this should be a relatively uncomplicated surgery, any surgery under anesthesia is a risk, so please, spare a thought for me tomorrow, and wish me well.
***
(Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.”) Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.
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March 27, 2017 at 2:53 pm
Well it’s tomorrow now, where I am,,and everything looks fine, so all bodes well for you when you get here by which time I’ll be gone.
I’m wishing you well and thinking of you and the op, as one who’s had many over the last few years, I know the loneliness of the before the op, though there are many around; you are always alone.
Good Luck, Chin Up, and a big smile on the dial, the best of all as you prepare .XD
March 27, 2017 at 3:18 pm
Thank you! Compared to what you’ve gone through, this barely qualifies as surgery, but I am heartened by your rousing endorsement. I’ve never figured out why sometimes aloneness devolves into loneliness, but hopefully tomorrow I will be too out of it to feel either one.
March 27, 2017 at 3:32 pm
You’ll be fine Pat, big smile at all around you, and all will be well, and they will excel themselves XD
March 27, 2017 at 6:45 pm
Hope things go well, Pat.
March 28, 2017 at 3:47 am
Wishing you well Pat with extra hugs
March 28, 2017 at 9:54 pm
Thank you!
March 28, 2017 at 5:44 am
Best wishes. It will be nice to see a picture of your arm without the extra equipment.
March 28, 2017 at 9:53 pm
You will have to wait. It’s now in a thick shroud of bandages.
March 28, 2017 at 6:01 am
Hindsight will someday give you the perfect view of why all these changes took places. For today, prayers for you and for those who are managing your treatment.
March 28, 2017 at 9:52 pm
Will be an interesting view. Thank you for the prayers.
March 28, 2017 at 6:59 am
Yes, prayers for you and those who are managing your treatment Pat. A good distraction from the negative thoughts you were prepared to have. Yeaay!
March 28, 2017 at 9:50 pm
Hmmm. I just realized — I no longer think of grief upsurges as negative. Just thoughts and feelings like any other. Maybe that’s how we learn to be happy again — accepting all as part of the emotional spectrum. But yes, a good day yesterday. And today. I am fixator free!
March 29, 2017 at 11:37 am
Yeaaaaayyy!!! So glad that fixator is gone. Now for real healing! Many good wishes!!!
March 28, 2017 at 9:47 pm
Update: Surgery went well. I am fixator free! (I still have the fixator. It’s just not attached any longer.)The arm doesn’t work, of course, and won’t for a while, but I feel good. Well, except for a very sore throat. The breathing tube must have irritated it. But I am drinking lemon/ginger tea in the hopes that I will feel fine tomorrow. Thank you all for your well wishes!
March 29, 2017 at 5:07 am
Yippee! Happy healing Pat.
March 29, 2017 at 8:41 am
In my prayers, as always!
March 29, 2017 at 5:21 pm
Dear Pat, You have been a great patient and tomorrow all will go GREAT!!! Prayers always
March 29, 2017 at 8:34 pm
Everything went well! Thank you.
April 2, 2017 at 8:48 pm
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