Blue on Blue

Blue on blue actually refers to the photo below, a toy VW bug on top of my VW regulation-size VW (you might have to click on the image to see the tiny car), but it can also refer to my current life. Though I don’t particularly like admitting it, I have been a bit blue lately. Healing is frustrating because it takes so darn long, but not healing is even more frustrating because . . . well because it’s frustrating. It’s hard not being able to do simple things that I used to be able to do with my hand/wrist/arm, and when I can do things, it’s not without pain. Some wrist mobility I can never get back because of the plate holding everything in place. At best, using the hand feels awkward, though I can drive and type, so that’s good

Then there is the whole financial thing, which I try not to think about because at the moment, I can do nothing about the situation. I have a new book coming out soon (Madame ZeeZee’s Nightmare) and that should fix all my financial woes, right? Yeah, right. But, in a perfect world, it could happen.

And this thirty-day diet I am on that is supposed to give me energy and get rid of any inflammation seems to sap whatever energy I have. But there is just a week left, and although I hadn’t planned on deviating greatly from the diet (I do think staying away from wheat and sweeteners is a good idea, for example) I can’t help thinking of all the things I could make next week if I had the energy — made-from-scratch brownies, pierogies, bread, hamburger rolls (aka Bierocks or Runzas).

But there are other shades of blue besides the gloomy blues in my life such as the bright blue sky and the risible blue of smiles. Not much makes me smile right now, but there are some things. My current work in progress has some amusing moments that made me smile when I read it. Recently when I was out walking, I got caught in a hail storm (yep, hail in the desert!) and for some peculiar reason, despite the discomfort of being very cold and very wet, being out in that storm made me smile. A new dance I am learning makes me smile. (Actually, two new dances make me smile — an Arabian ballet from the Nutcracker and a Samoan dance to the tune of “We Know the Way” from Moana.)

And the blue toy VW made me smile. It’s one of those pull-back cars that speed along by itself, and that, too makes me smile.

So, blue on blue. Nowhere near as bad as it sounds.


Pat Bertram is the author of the suspense novels Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I. Bertram is also the author of Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Connect with Pat on Google+. Like Pat on Facebook.

4 Responses to “Blue on Blue”

  1. Sherrie Hansen Says:

    How could I not like a post with the name Blue in the title – twice! I’m glad you are finding a few things that make you smile. I’ve been thinking of you lately because Mark and I are heading back to Europe in a couple of weeks and you spoiled us so last year when you were housesitting. A lot has happened since then, huh? the biggest thing for us has been a drastic downhill spiral in my dad’s health. 😦 Anyway, keep looking up, and smiling and healing!!! Hugs and prayers, Sherrie and Mark

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      I really hoped I could get back there to housesit for this year’s European trip, but yes, a lot has happened. Maybe next year! Sorry about your dad’s health. It’s hard.

  2. Coco Ihle Says:

    Pat, I know how easy it is to get discouraged, but I think you are actually doing quite well. It’s really difficult to think a negative thought while smiling. Keep up the good work!!! I’m pulling for you!

  3. rami ungar the writer Says:

    Let us know when that book is coming out. I’ll read it and do a review on Amazon and/or my blog.
    Also, if you’re still doing those paintings, have you thought about selling a few on Etsy? It’s like an Amazon for artists, and a lot of artists are able to make some extra income through the site. It’s a thought, anyway.

Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: