Today has been rather an exhausting day, so after I post a few words (or even a lot of words), I’m going to rest my knee.
I woke at first light as I have been doing the past couple of months. This early rising began with The Bob and resulting isolation, and it is still holding true, even if I wear a sleep mask to block the light in the hopes of sleeping later. What I did at the beginning of this early rising was lie in bed and scroll through Facebook looking for articles of interest, which, in retrospect, was so not a good thing to do — it started the day off with all sorts of crap in my head I didn’t want there. Now, I look at the weather, check my emails, pick a tarot card for the day and try to puzzle out how it refers to me, and then wander around the house a bit until the sun comes up.
I did all that today, then I went out and unlocked my garage. (What wonderful words those are!) I dragged out a ladder and reset the button on the light-sensitive and motion-activated light we installed over the walk-in door. (I thought we turned it on, but apparently, we turned it off because it didn’t come on last night.) Luckily, I only had to climb two rungs because I’m not sure how my knee would have held out if I had to climb higher.
Then I watered my baby bushes and the timid transplanted ones that have not yet settled into their new location.
And then . . . Ta dum!
I took a walk. It wasn’t anything to speak of, just a few blocks — maybe a half mile at most — but since my knee had prevented any sort of walking except some painful hobbling from room to room inside the house for the past several weeks, it was a real triumph. Oddly, my knees and legs don’t hurt from the exercise (though behind the knees ached for a while) but my arms are very sore. No, I didn’t walk on my hands, but the trekking poles I used take some of the weight off my knees and onto my arms. During all that time of healing, I didn’t do much of anything except rest, and I’m paying for it now. Or maybe, a better way of looking at it is that I’m now reaping the benefits of all the resting because I was able to take a walk today. Slowly. But I walked.
And yes, for all you who suggested it, I did use a brace. The brace I got didn’t fit, and since I couldn’t get around to shop for one that did fit, I cut up and rearranged the one I have so it does some good. What is helping even more is massaging the knee (though how manipulating a loose knee cap helps, I don’t know) and using an herbal poultice with frankincense and myrrh. And ice. And heat. (Heat seems to help more now than ice does, though to be honest, with as hot as it is, I’d prefer the ice.)
So, now I’m exhausted.
Time to rest.
As for the garage — the door is up and on track, the framework is finished, and the lock on the walk-in door is installed. Things are moving along!
***
Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator
Bertram's Blog 
June 27, 2020 at 3:52 pm
The garage looks very nice!!! Low key exercising for the knee.
June 28, 2020 at 3:12 am
I am in good hope for your health.
June 28, 2020 at 6:54 am
Thank you.
June 28, 2020 at 4:31 am
I have been thinking a great deal about lonliness. Is there a “line” to be crossed when missing my spouse becomes generic lonliness? Does that make any difference from a functional stand point? When I read your blog and it seemed your day was done with many hours still left it made me think you are lonely. I often am and it feels like grief in a different flavor.
June 28, 2020 at 6:58 am
Loneliness is loneliness, no matter where it comes from, but I tend to think a more generic loneliness is just a different manifestation of missing them. I hadn’t considered that I was lonely, but I tend to think you’re right, though in my case, it’s settled into me and become part of who I am.
June 28, 2020 at 4:17 pm
I like that: it’s settled into me and become part of who I am
June 28, 2020 at 11:37 am
Happy to see that you’ve made some solid progress with the knee problem. Listen to your body, though, and don’t try to do too much too soon. The setbacks are frustrating, so slow and steady is the way to go.
The garage is looking great. It’s been fun watching the progress in that area (probably more for us than for you) over the last few weeks.
Houston is regressing at a rapid pace in regards to the virus. We set a new record for “new cases” and “hospitalizations” just about every day now. That means that some businesses are having to close back up and that indoor dining is more restricted than in was a week ago (which doesn’t really affect us because we are not risking that activity anyway). Bars are completely shut down again, and all my musician friends are feeling the pain and have lost paying gigs that they were counting on. I feel for them, but I do believe the bars were opened up way too early in this state.
After almost four months of this, older folks seem resigned to staying home, but the younger ones are no longer playing by the rules. This is not going to end until we get a vaccine, apparently, and it would not surprise me that a quarter of a million Americans die before that happens.
June 28, 2020 at 12:58 pm
Good advice about listening to my body. I always seem to feel that if I can do something physical, I should, which is how I got into this mess in the first place.
The garage was always meant to be functional, a place for my car and my stuff, but I too have enjoyed watching it come into being. A garage of my dreams. Who would have though it?
Yikes, more hospitalizations? I thought the virus was dying off. Colorado seems to be tapering off. I wonder if the downward trend will reverse itself because here, there’s only a few of us older folks staying put. Most people are out and about (without masks) as if there never was a crisis. Which, admittedly, there really wasn’t one here in this county. Four cases is all, and no hospitalizations that I know of.
Keep safe!
In my case, it’s not so much that I’m resigned, it’s more that I’ve lost any inclination to do anything else but stay home.