I’m having a hard time thinking of something to write about today. To be honest, I’m having a hard time even caring about thinking of something to write about, or caring about much of anything. Oh, I am still enamored of my house — I feel blessed to be here. I am still intrigued with the possibilities for landscaping. And I’m still hopeful about my newly published novel. But other than that, I’m feeling . . . disconnected. Or maybe just upside down.

Part of it, I’m sure, is shock over the direction people have chosen to steer this country. We’re already as close to socialism as I ever want to be, but apparently, most people want what I don’t, and the thought of what’s going to be happening in the next few months and years makes me nervous.

Part of it, too, is that I’m tired. I still haven’t recovered from the time change, though why that should make a difference, I don’t know. I’m also tired from caring about things I have no control over.

Part of it is that I spend too much time alone. I have my job, and I do see other people now and again, but I am too much in my own head, which isn’t always a good place to be.

And part of it might be that, as my tarot card today intimated, I am at a crossroads, needing to reflect and reevaluate my life so I can have a better understanding of where I am and where I need to grow. (One thing, I know is that I need to opt out of reading or hearing any news — I no longer want to know anything “they” are doing since there’s nothing I can do about it.)

Of course, all of the above could be hogwash. It could simply be that I have nothing to say. 411 days of daily blogging is a long stretch. (I had to look up the word “hogwash.” know what it means in its usage today but not how it started out. It turns out hogwash is not something for cleaning hogs, as I vaguely assumed, but is actually swill — kitchen scraps one feeds to the pigs.)

The weather was nice enough today after the winds died down that I was able to take a walk, which helped. And I had a couple of nice meals — eggs and a vegetable salad. So maybe this malaise will soon pass, at least I hope it will.


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6 Responses to “Malaise”

  1. Uthayanan Says:

    In the same situation (temporally burned out)
    I used to take
    (apart from grief I have no remedies at the moment)
    Breton buckwheat pancakes or
    Candied ginger or
    Dark cocoa 70% minimum
    It helps
    But I am not sure for you.
    411 days of daily blogging is fantastic but might be really a long stretch.
    I don’t think it is mind blowing naturally it is a good pleasure for you and others.
    Take care

  2. Carol J. Garvin Says:

    Chin up. Some days/weeks just seem to be like that. It’s hard to keep our passions kindled when the media is lambasting us day-after-day with exposure to situations beyond our control. I think our brains sometimes retreat into self-preservation mode, but it’ll get better. In the meantime, do something especially for yourself — maybe craft a decoration for the upcoming Christmas season, or take an online course, invite a neighbour to read a book with you and discuss its merits via phone or email…something.

    From my north side of the border view, it appears that no matter who won the US presidential election, almost half of the voters were going to be disappointed or angry. It’s a country divided, and like most situations in life, we can really only make an impact on our own personal space. Within in our neighbourhoods, communities and towns we keep being civil even to those who don’t share our opinions, keep being compassionate, helpful, friendly to all, and hope some of the goodness seeps into the world around us.

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      I’m not angry. Just horribly disheartened. And very glad my time is limited and that I’m not one of those who will have to grow up in this world.

      You’re right. I need a new project.

  3. Sam Sattler Says:

    Lots of us in the same boat these days. My tendency is to tune out for a while, too, but then I get to worrying about what THEY are up to, and I get sucked right back into the mess. It’s certainly worrisome to find ourselves in a predicament I never in a million years would have believed I would live to see.

    Oh, and thanks for the correct definition of “hogwash.” I always took the more descriptive meaning, too, but now that I think about it, this makes much more sense about describing something relatively useless. After all, how often to farmers wash their hogs?

    • Pat Bertram Says:

      I worry, too, but so far, I’ve managed to stay clear, though some things do slip through. One thing that gives me a bit of hope is that both the new people have made powerful enemies with their shenanigans during the supreme court hearings.

      But yes, I never thought I’d live to see it. I knew what was happening over the past decades, but I didn’t realize how blatantly arrogant they would become. They simply don’t care whether we know they are cheats and crooks because there is nothing we can do about it.

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