culture | Bertram's Blog

Saying “No” to Outrage

February 19, 2021 — Pat Bertram

In a cold war spy novel I am currently reading, I came across the sentence, “Outrage is a luxury available only in the West.” It was meant to explain the stolidity of the Russian workers, and I might not have even noticed the sentence if not for all the outrage that is so prevalent. Outrage in the USA is growing, and was most especially noticeable during the last presidency. Too many people thought they were the only ones who knew the truth, were the only ones who knew the best thing for the country. It didn’t matter what side of the line they were on, they were outraged at the folks on the other side for being liars, cheaters, racists, communists, sexist, for not caring enough about the poor, not caring enough about the economy, and on and on and on.

Outrage has been called a drug, one we really can get addicted to because it makes us feel smarter than other people, more in the know, more powerful. When outraged folk make comments, in their mind, it’s not opinion, it’s fact, even though the comment is no such thing — no matter how widespread, an opinion is just that — what something assumes is the truth.

Even worse are the outraged folks who do “research,” which means they read an article or two on the internet that solidifies their opinion.

Worst of all, of course, are those who try to ruin other people’s lives and careers because those other people deserve it for not agreeing with the current party line. And the person who did the ruining gets to feel puffed up and self-righteous when all they are is ignorant and arrogant.

Still, whatever the truth of the assertion that outrage is a luxury available only in the West, and however dangerous outrage is, outrage does seem to be one of the last freedoms we have.

Over the years, our freedoms have gradually been eroded in the name of safety. (Which is why I wrapped the story of Bob, The Right Hand of God around the theme of freedom vs safety. How much freedom we’re willing to give up for safety, and how much safety we’re willing to give up for freedom.)

Until outrage came along, the mainstay of freedom was the ability to say “no,” which is basically a power of the powerless, but gradually, that freedom is being taken away. For example, at the moment, it’s a choice whether one gets the current vaccine, though some people want to make it mandatory. In other words, saying “no” is no longer always possible. We’re so used to going along with the flow, doing what we’re told, that most of us no longer even think to say “no,” even when it is possible.

So what’s left is outrage. A luxury, perhaps. A freedom still.

Personally, I have no interest in being outraged about anything, which is why, except to see if someone left me a comment, I no longer spend any time on Facebook, watching the news, reading novels based on current policies, or anything that might draw me into the outrage culture.

It’s simply not worth it.

Luckily, I still have the freedom to say, “no.”

***

What if God decided S/He didn’t like how the world turned out, and turned it over to a development company from the planet Xerxes for re-creation? Would you survive? Could you survive?

Click here to buy Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in culture, history/myth, life. Tags: addicted to outrage, outrage as a drug, outrage as a freedom, outrage as a luxury, outrage culture, safety and freedom, the freedom to say no. 2 Comments »

Adventuring

February 13, 2021 — Pat Bertram

Although I might not be having adventures of the traveling kind, I am certainly having an adventure of the weather kind — we’re experiencing an arctic cold front that has brought the temperature forty degrees below normal for the area. I can’t say it’s a fun adventure, but it is an adventure, this trying to stay warm in the chill temperatures. Luckily, I don’t have many reasons to go out and brave the cold, though today I did have one of those reasons.

I was invited to lunch at a friend’s house, and that was an adventure of a different kind — a culinary adventure spanning the gamut of Asian countries. First we had an appetizer of vegetable rolls — various vegetables wrapped in edible rice paper and dipped in a wasabi sauce.

Next we had a deliciously spicy clam-in-the-shell stir fry. After that was grilled eel on a bed of rice topped with a special eel sauce. An interesting taste experience, that’s for sure! I can’t say eel will ever be one of my favorite foods, but I did enjoy it this once, mainly, I think, because it was so different from anything I’ve ever eaten. It wasn’t slimy, as you might expect, but it wasn’t flaky like fish, either, though it did have a mild fish flavor.

To drink, I had Thai cream soda, which is nothing like American cream soda. I don’t know what flavor it is, actually, perhaps similar to an Asian fruit, like rambutan or lychee. Which, incidentally, were served for dessert.

That’s plenty of adventuring for me for now. Tonight, we’re supposed to get snow and even colder temperatures. Tomorrow’s high will be zero. Or maybe 1 degree above zero if we’re lucky. I will have to go out to clear the snow from the ramp and the sidewalk in front of the house, but that will be it for me. The rest of the day I will snuggle under a comforter to read and drink hot tea and be grateful for the warmth inside my cozy little house.

***

What if God decided S/He didn’t like how the world turned out, and turned it over to a development company from the planet Xerxes for re-creation? Would you survive? Could you survive?

Click here to buy Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in culture, home, life. Tags: arctic cold front, clam stir fry, grilled eel, lychee, rambutan, salad rolls, Thai cream soda. 5 Comments »

Mixed Feelings

February 10, 2021 — Pat Bertram

Today was a day of mixed feelings — happy, sad, shocked, sublime. I hadn’t been going anywhere or seeing anyone for a while, so when I found out the art guild was meeting today, I decided to attend. The town seems to be picking up the pieces of life, with various events that have been cancelled the past year being scheduled once again. For me, it mostly means coming up with another historic murder mystery scenario, but I have several months to think about it.

I was happy being around people, happy to do a project (we made small valentine banners), but I was shocked and oh, so saddened to hear about the death of one art guild member’s husband. My heart goes out to this friend. I’m just like everyone else when it comes to not knowing what to say, so I merely hugged her and said I was sorry. I also let her know I would be available if she ever needed anyone to talk to, which I think she appreciated, but I tend to think she’s still too shaken to be able to put her chaotic thoughts about her loss into words.

The sublime part of today (and the past couple of days) was the frozen fog. I don’t remember if I’d ever seen frozen fog before, though perhaps I did when I was young because the scene has a familiarity about it. I certainly hadn’t seen anything like it when I lived in the desert of California or the high plains of Colorado, so I enjoyed the whiteness. The white trees and shrubs, the white sky, the white . . . everything. It looks like snow, but it isn’t — we haven’t had snow for a couple of weeks. Apparently it’s cold enough (and yes, it is cold, though not as cold as it’s going to be this weekend; they’re talking about a high of zero on Sunday) to freeze the fog in the air and the moisture on the flora.

I’m still on hiatus from work, so it was nice seeing people, but it will be equally nice tomorrow when I stay inside and enjoy the frozen fog from the warmth of my rooms.

***

Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator

Posted in culture, life, writing. Tags: art guild, frozen fog, mixed feelings, mixed feelings about the death of a spouse. Leave a Comment »

A Trusting Species

February 8, 2021 — Pat Bertram

I was standing in an aisle at the grocery store today, reading a label, when it struck me that for all our vaunted skepticism, we are a trusting species. There is no way to know for sure that the ingredients listed on the label are the only ingredients in the product, in fact, there’s a better than average chance that there are things in the product that aren’t listed on the label. For example, a certain amount of pesticides are allowed by law to be ignored when a product is advertised as “organic.” Many ingredients, not just pesticides, are actually included in the definition of certain foods, so even though a food my advertise itself as “sugar free,” that is not necessarily the case. And yet, we still read labels, still buy things according to what we read.

Because we are a trusting species.

Oddly, while we insist on full disclosure when it comes to food (even though we don’t always get it) we don’t demand the same sort of itemization with drugs. We take what the doctors prescribe (and they prescribe what the drug companies suggest they prescribe) because, evidence to the contrary, we trust that those people have our best interests at heart.

When it comes to doctors, survey after survey shows that people don’t trust the medical establishment, don’t trust doctors, yet when asked specifically about their doctor, they trust her (or him) implicitly. Which is a weird sort of syllogism. If all doctors are untrustworthy, and if everyone’s doctor is trustworthy, it somehow comes out meaning that all doctors are trustworthy.

Logically, it doesn’t make sense, but it does if you realize — ta da! — that we are a trusting species.

I think nowhere is this trust so apparent as in drug commercials. Commercial after commercial shows happy, laughing people, so thrilled to have taken the drug of choice (which almost always has three syllables, and one of the letters in one of those syllables is frequently a Q, X, or Z) yet while we watch these happy people, and while that oh-so-catchy drug name is oft repeated, there is a running commentary about all the horrible things that drug could do to you if you take it. And yet people not only agree to take it, they sometimes go running to their doctor (the only doctor in the world who is trustworthy) and ask for the drug by name.

Because we are a trusting species.

The trouble is, we cannot simply go by our own senses, believing only what our eyes, ears, and nose tell us, because those senses are basically lying to us. What we see is not what actually exists (which to the best of anyone’s knowledge or belief are various wavelengths of energy that somehow disappear into uncertainty and then perhaps into nothingness the more they are studied). Instead, what we see is what our brains decide to show us as they interpret that energy.

And we believe because . . . yep, because we are a trusting species. We have to believe our eyes and other senses. Otherwise, we’d be just streams (or strings or bundles) of energy interacting with other bundles of energy.

It’s not our fault that we are a trusting species — it’s how we were made. We have to trust, though to be honest, some of us have a harder time trusting than others do. We’re the sort who stand in grocery store aisles and wonder what the truth is about the ingredients listed on the product we are holding in our hand.

***

What if God decided S/He didn’t like how the world turned out, and turned it over to a development company from the planet Xerxes for re-creation? Would you survive? Could you survive?

Click here to buy Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in culture, life. Tags: drug commercials, full disclosure on food labels, reading labels, trusting doctors, trusting the medical establishment, what you see isn't necessarily what you get. 2 Comments »

Alone Again . . . Naturally

February 6, 2021 — Pat Bertram

Because of a change in the situation of the woman I have been working for, I am on a hiatus from work. Whether this is a permanent furlough or just temporary, I don’t know, but for now, I’m back to being fairly isolated. I’m hoping the weather cooperates so the workers can come and finish some of the jobs they’ve started, such as digging the dirt away from the house and repairing the cracks in the foundation, because having them around the place makes me feel less isolated.

Even though it’s getting cold again, I am trying to take a walk every day, bundling up against the chill winds, so at least that helps me feel more a part of the world. I can also make an appointment to get more books from the library, and if I get desperate, I can watch the few hand-me-down DVDs I’ve collected. All those things make me feel less isolated, though they don’t really do anything to actually make me less isolated. I don’t suppose it matters, though, and won’t for a while longer. I do well on my own since I have hermit tendencies, though I’m not sure how healthy such isolation is in the long run.

After Jeff died, I made sure to keep active, to make friends, to be involved in various groups and to do new things because I was afraid of becoming stagnant. I redoubled those efforts once I moved because I knew what a challenge it would be making new friends, but all that effort went by the wayside with The Bob restrictions, so I have a hunch I am now at the stagnant stage. It’s possible that spending so much time alone is skewing my perceptions and that I have not yet become torpid, but it’s hard to tell because . . . well, because I am alone so much.

I suppose I could do what so many people are doing — get involved in activities with a small group of friends, but unfortunately, just because people have received the vaccine, it doesn’t mean they won’t still spread The Bob. After all, the vaccine is only 90% effective (and less so when it comes to new variants) while isolation is 100% effective.

And truly, does it really matter if I’ve become stagnant, especially if I don’t know the truth of the matter? And so what if I become the crazy cat lady sans cats? If I’m the only one around, who will know?

***

Posted in culture, house, life. Tags: becoming a crazy cat lady, being a hermit, dealing with isolation, keeping active, stagnating, vaccine not 100% effective, working on the house. 6 Comments »

New Month, New Tarot Deck

February 1, 2021 — Pat Bertram

Every month I’ve been using a different tarot deck in an effort to see if the deck feels the same as the rest, or if it resonates with me. Although I like a couple of the decks better than any of the others, either because of size or feel or the artistry, I haven’t felt any special affinity with any of the cards.

This month’s choice of decks is the Jungian tarot, which is based on archetypal images designed to activate the imagination. According to the designer of the deck, most of the current values assigned to the various cards were arbitrarily developed in the nineteenth century by occult groups. By contrast, he says the attributions in the Jungian Tarot were painstakingly researched in an effort to relate tarot interpretation to more ancient traditions.

Sounds good, right? Well, today’s card, the ten of wands activates my imagination not at all. The image gives me the impression of being weirdly inappropriate since it seems sinister, and the ten of wands is a rather benign card relating to careful management, functioning within a large organization, success, the loneliness that comes from success, and reacting defensively to badly organized ideas. Which is not a whole lot different from the meanings assigned by other tarot interpreters. Most say the card is about success and the perhaps oppressive responsibilities one has to take on because of that success; a need for prioritizing, delegating, and sharing your burdens. (None of which seem to have any relation to my life at all.)

It almost seems as if the major arcana (the cards most people have heard of, such as the fool, the hanged man, the sun, the moon, etc) are the cards that every tarot artist and interpreter spend most time on, and the others are “also rans.” (Which is why so many readings, such as online readings, use only those twenty-two cards rather than all seventy-eight cards.)

When I do graduate from picking just one card to doing a periodic reading (weekly or monthly), chances are I will only use those twenty-two cards until I get familiar with how the cards fit together to show . . . well, to show whatever it is they are supposed to show. I still don’t know. I do know the tarot isn’t really about foretelling the future; it’s more about communicating with our deepest being, but so far, there’s not a hint of what I might be hiding in my innermost depths. It could be I have no such depths. It could be the cards are not speaking to me, and if they are, I haven’t learned to listen. It could be that the whole thing is hokum.

So far, the only imagination it has activated in me is the possibility of using the cards as story telling cards — using each of the face cards as a character, and surrounding them random cards to see how their lives would unfold. But the idea has gone no further than that. Nor have I deepened whatever intuition I might have or learned anything I don’t already know.

But I have the cards, so it does me no harm to pick one every day just to see what I pick.

***

While sorting through her deceased husband’s effects, Amanda is shocked to discover a gun and the photo of an unknown girl who resembles their daughter. After dedicating her life to David and his vocation as a pastor, the evidence that her devout husband kept secrets devastates Amanda. But Amanda has secrets of her own. . .

Click here to buy: Unfinished

Posted in culture, life, tarot, writing. Tags: archetypal images, Jungian tarot, learning the tarot, major arcana, ten of wands tarot. 9 Comments »

What’s in a Name?

January 31, 2021 — Pat Bertram

I’m reading a mystery that takes place in a historic coffee shop, which is interesting in itself because I didn’t realize how far back coffee shops went — way back to the 1700s, actually. And maybe even before. I thought they were a more recent idea, though I don’t know why I supposed that — after all, beverage restaurants go back to the beginning of time. (The time of commerce, anyway.) Grog shops, pubs, taverns, wineries, tea houses, so why not coffee shops? I’m sure when chocolate became popular in the 1700s, there were chocolate shops, too, though a cursory look at Google’s offerings didn’t tell me if my surmise was correct.

But I should have known about coffee shops; after all, the term “café society” was coined in the early twentieth century, though the custom of literati, artists, and socialites gathering at coffee shops after attending cultural activities stems from the nineteenth century in the United States. Although coffee shops were prevalent in European culture, they didn’t become the cultural icon they are today in the USA until the later part of the twentieth century.

So, here I am in a fictional coffee shop that has been around for a hundred years, “listening” to the manager of the shop ramble on and on about the different coffee beans, the different ways of brewing, the different tastes and smells (particularly smell since apparently half the appreciation of coffee lies in the scent), as well as the various undertones, overtones, and aftertastes.

Reminds me of wine. People always taste more in wine than I’ve ever been able to even guess. Maybe it’s like music — even a good barbershop quartet grates on my poor ears because I hear only a single discordant sound. Afficionados and others with a musical ear can hear each tone separately, and so they can appreciate the harmony.

I’ve never been able to taste anything in wine but . . . wine. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that my tastes run more to a slightly sweet sparkling wine, though the last time I had any wine (a glass of Seven Daughter’s Moscato) was a couple of years ago when a friend took me out to dinner to celebrate my buying a house. So you can see, I am not a big fan of fermented grapes.

And coffee? It all tastes the same to me, so I find it amusing that I am drinking a cup of instant coffee doctored with honey and lots of cream while I am reading what amounts to a connoisseur’s guide to coffee sandwiched between a couple of murders.

It’s a good thing I never aspired to be member of café society. There’s just no getting away from my plebian tastes when it comes to . . . well, almost everything. Books, movies, art, coffee, wine — plebian all the way. It’s ironic, really, when you consider that my name comes from patrician, which is the exact opposite of plebian.

I guess the answer to Shakespeare’s question, “What’s in a name?” is “Nothing.”

***

What if God decided S/He didn’t like how the world turned out, and turned it over to a development company from the planet Xerxes for re-creation? Would you survive? Could you survive?

Click here to buy Bob, The Right Hand of God.

Posted in culture, life. Tags: barbershop quartets, café society, coffee connoisseur, coffee shops, historic coffee shop, plebian tastes, Seven Daughter's Moscato. 11 Comments »

Unrandom Acts of Random Kindness

January 29, 2021 — Pat Bertram

I got a notice today reminding me that February 15-21 is Random Acts of Kindness Week. Included were a list of kind acts one can do, but doesn’t that take away the randomness of being kind if you have to plan to be kind? Isn’t the purpose of being kind simply . . . being kind? And not just one week out of the year, but every week.

It reminds me of that scene in Road House where Patrick Swayze tells his bouncers to be kind. Not matter what anyone does, be kind. If they get in your face, be kind. Well, he actually said to be nice, but this isn’t a post about being nice — it’s about being kind — though there isn’t much difference between the two concepts when it comes to behavior. Being nice is about being pleasant and agreeable, and being kind goes beyond simply being nice to being benevolent. Either way, it’s about treating others with respect and graciousness.

So many of the suggestions for unrandomly committing random acts of kindness are neither particularly nice nor particularly benevolent, especially if you are doing it for the purpose of being kind to make yourself feel good about being kind.

For example, leaving a note on someone’s car telling them to have a nice day. Have you ever had a nice day just because someone told you to? Doesn’t it irk you more than it evokes kindness, especially if they lifted your windshield wiper to secure the note? A better act of kindness would have been for them to keep their note writing to themselves.

Another idea was to place a quarter in a new purse in a store because it will be a treasure to the person who buys the purse. Um, no. First of all, in no way can a mere twenty-five cents be considered a treasure. And second of all, it would probably trip all the metal detectors as the person left the store, creating an embarrassing situation. Well, probably not, since the detectors only detect theft-detection devices, but still . . . leaving a quarter is not really being kind. It’s better to save your quarter for the person standing in front of you in the check-out line who is fumbling for cash, irritating the hell out of you. So, be kind. Even if you don’t give the person the quarter, be kind. Getting irritated and impatient does no one any good.

One popular suggestion is to bake cookies for an elderly neighbor. So not a good idea! The elderly person might like or even want the cookies, but are they allowed to eat them? After all, they could be diabetic or prediabetic, or on a diet, and your foolish act of kindness could derail their attempt at better health. Besides, with The Bob running rampant, I certainly wouldn’t want to eat anything someone made just so they could feel kind, so for sure I won’t make anything for anyone else, and that, in its own way, is a kindness — it shows I have their best interests in mind.

One thing I do agree with is to only say nice things. That ties in with the Swayze quote. But not just for that one week, but for every week. There is seldom a reason not to say nice things unless people are being larcenous toward you or creating a dangerous situation.

For example, one of the suggestions is to help an older person cross the street. Um, no. If you lay hands on me, well, that’s my cue to NOT be nice.

So, before you do something kind, make sure people welcome your kindness, otherwise it isn’t kind; it’s merely self-serving, and being self-serving generally falls under the category of not being kind.

***

Posted in culture, life. Tags: acts of kindness that are not kind, baking cookies for a neighbor, be nice, being kind, Patrick Swayze be nice, putting a quarter into a purse, random acts of kindness. 5 Comments »

Taking Life as It Comes

January 24, 2021 — Pat Bertram

Are you doing anything to prepare for Armageddon or whatever the next national or international crisis might be?

If there is anything major, like the entire electrical grid being sabotaged in the United States as I spoke of yesterday or the nuclear threat of the cold war era, I doubt anything I could do to prepare would be efficacious for any length of time. To survive such a wholesale catastrophe would take a huge expenditure of time and money, to say nothing of skulking around to prepare in secret because if something did happen, the unprepared who knew what you had done would try to take you out to get to what you have.

But even without any sort of preparation, people can — and have — survived localized disasters.

I’m sure I’d be okay for a short time as long as I wasn’t ill or injured. I have one of those metabolisms created in less affluent ages, where systematic starvation was rampant. The less I eat, the less I need to eat without any loss of energy, which makes it almost impossible for me to lose weight, but in a time of hardship, I’d probably do fine.

Water would be a problem, so I do keep a few things on hand, like bottled water, a wee bit of food, and some common emergency supplies, such as flashlights and batteries, as well as first-aid supplies.

To be honest, I wouldn’t want to live in a time of chaos, where it is truly a dog eat dog or human eat human world. Though, also, to be honest, as long as I wasn’t in too much danger or suffering unduly, it could be interesting to watch such a scenario.

Either way, I’m not preparing for much of anything except my own uncertain future. (Uncertain because all futures are uncertain, although that isn’t exactly true. We know our ultimate fate; only the time, place, and cause are uncertain.)

It still amuses me the things people stocked up on when The Bob was first mentioned. Of all the necessary things, toilet paper wouldn’t even be on my mind. An old sheet cut into small pieces does the trick. Of course, you couldn’t flush it, but then, if civilization was in total turmoil, chances are no one would be flushing anyway.

I know I’m better off in my own house rather than in a high-rise in the middle of a city, so to that extent, I did prepare. I would never live in a highrise. If the electricity went out and I’m fifteen or twenty or thirty stories up, I’d be trapped. Nor could I ever live on a lower floor with a whole building above my head (an edifice built by the lowest bidder, I might add). I can just imagine my trying to sleep while feeling the weight of the building above me. Eek.

So to the extent that I think of such things and act on them, I do have a survivalist mentality. But for stocking up on toilet paper, stacks of canned goods, huge vats of fuel? No, that’s not for me.

If I’ve scared you now, and you want to prepare for calamity, there are all sorts of survivalist guides and kits out there. But for me? I’m taking life as it comes.

At least, I’m trying to.

***

If you haven’t yet read A Spark of Heavenly Fire, my novel of a quarantine that predated this pandemic by more than ten years, you can read the first chapter online here: http://patbertram.com/A_Spark_of_Heavenly_Fire.html

Buy it on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0024FB5H6/

Download the first 30% free on Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1842

Posted in culture, life. Tags: armageddon, fear of highrises, national disasters, preparing for calamity, taking life as it comes, uncertain future. 4 Comments »

Insuring and Ensuring

January 22, 2021 — Pat Bertram

The increase in my house insurance reminds me that when people put in false claims or otherwise defraud an insurance company, they justify their actions by saying it doesn’t hurt anyone; it’s just an insurance company.

What such larcenous folk don’t realize is that an insurance company will NEVER lose. If they do lose more than they have accounted for in any given year, they simply jack up the price for those who faithfully pay their premiums without ever submitting a claim, or they get the government to bail them out. Which means, everyone but the insurance company loses.

Not that I think there is any shenanigans going on with the insurance company when they raised my rates, at least not more than usual, but it is something I think about, especially now that I am getting older and don’t have a lot of resources. It makes me wonder about what I will do if I ever get to the point of needing a nursing home. Would I discontinue the insurance those last years, and deal with whatever comes? After all, it will be the nursing home that gets my property, and I could use the insurance payment for one last fling.

Meantime, the sun is shining in this hiatus before the next storm hits, I have library books to read, and a roof over my head. And that, too, is an insurance of a kind. It might not be the monetary kind of insurance, but those things do help to ensure a good day! (I’m stretching things a bit here, since ensure and insure are completely different things, but I wanted to leave here with more positive slant.)

I hope you’re having a good day, or at least, as good a day as possible.