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  • Pat Bertram is the author  of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One and Grief: The Great Yearning, “an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.” Bertram is also the author of the suspense novels Unfinished, Madame ZeeZee’s Nightmare, Light Bringer, Daughter Am I, More Deaths Than One, and A Spark of Heavenly Fire.

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Six Days Until Publication!

October 14, 2020 — Pat Bertram

An excerpt from Bob, The Right Hand of God for you:

A kid in his late teens or early twenties with drooping trousers that exposed his dingy blue boxer short waited by the front counter, a wire cage at his feet. Approximately eighteen inches high, the enclosure appeared to be filled with scarlet, blue and yellow feathers.

A low-pitched squeak came from the mass of feathers, and Chet realized a live scarlet macaw had been scrunched into the cage. He clenched his hands and glared at the kid. I’d like to stuff you into a space half your size and see how you like it.

The kid grinned, displaying large teeth and a tongue ring. “Some dude told me you buy used pets. How much will you give me for this . . . um . . . this parrot?”

“A hundred.”

“A hundred dollars? You trying to cheat me? It’s worth at least a thousand.”

The bird looked half-dead from mistreatment and starvation. When raised in a loving atmosphere, a macaw was an affectionate creature, but when mistreated, it could be vicious. Even if the bird survived, it would probably be unsalable.

“A hundred and twenty. Take it or leave it.” You little shit.

“You can’t do that.”

“I’m not the one trying to peddle an almost dead bird.” Chet started to walk away.

“Okay, okay, but I want cash.”

Chet strode to the cash register and pulled out six twenties. The kid grabbed the money and bolted from the store, almost tripping on his pant legs.

The orange cat circled the cage. The macaw let out another feeble squeak.

Chet lifted the cage and gently set it on the counter. “You’ll be free in just a minute, little one.”

He went into the back room for a dish of nuts and seeds, a peeled banana, and a bowl of water. He set them in front of the cage, then opened the door and stepped back.

The bird did not move.

Maybe he should try to pull it out? No. One thing the creature didn’t need was more rough handling. It would come out when ready.

While he waited for the macaw to extricate itself, he popped another lemon drop into his mouth.

The candy dissolved into tart nothingness, and still the macaw didn’t move.

Without warning, the exotic birds in their oversized cages flapped their wings, squawking and screaming. The dogs yipped. The snakes coiled and uncoiled. The fish churned their waters.

And from a distance came the sound of gunfire.

***

We’re getting closer to the October 20th publication date every day!

If you are planning to get a Kindle version of my new novel, Bob, The Right Hand of God, you can now pre-order on Amazon, and the minute the book is published, the book will appear in your Kindle. Click here to purchase: Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

If you wish to buy a paperback copy, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale. 

I truly hope this book will amuse you, entertain you, make you think and perhaps even dream a bit about what it would be like if God decided to recreate the world.

Posted in books, fiction, writing. Tags: Bob The Right Hand of God, Dark humor, Excerpt from Bob the Right Hand of God, humorous science fiction, Pre-order kindle book on Amazon, sign up for email notification on Amazon, What if God decided to recreate the world. Leave a Comment »
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  • New Release!

  • “I am Bob, the Right Hand of God. As part of the galactic renewal program, God has accepted an offer from a development company on the planet Xerxes to turn Earth into a theme park. Not even God can stop progress, but to tell the truth, He’s glad of the change. He’s never been satisfied with Earth. For one thing, there are too many humans on it. He’s decided to eliminate anyone who isn’t nice, and because He’s God, He knows who you are; you can’t talk your way out of it as you humans normally do.”

  • Grief Books By Pat Bertram

    Available online wherever books and ebooks are sold.

  • Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One debunks many established beliefs about what grief is, explains how it affects those left behind, and shows how to adjust to a world that no longer contains the loved one. “It is exactly what folk need to read who are grieving.”(Leesa Heely Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator ).

    Click here to buy Grief: The Inside Story

  • Grief: The Great Yearning is not a how-to but a how-done, a compilation of letters, blog posts, and journal entries Pat Bertram wrote while struggling to survive her first year of grief. This is an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths.

  • Other books by Pat Bertram

    Available online wherever books and ebooks are sold.

  • While sorting through her deceased husband’s effects, Amanda is shocked to discover a gun and the photo of an unknown girl who resembles their daughter. After dedicating her life to David and his vocation as a pastor, the evidence that her devout husband kept secrets devastates Amanda. But Amanda has secrets of her own. . .

  • When Pat’s adult dance classmates discover she is a published author, the women suggest she write a mystery featuring the studio and its aging students. One sweet older lady laughingly volunteers to be the victim, and the others offer suggestions to jazz up the story. Pat starts writing, and then . . . the murders begin.

  • Thirty-seven years after being abandoned on the doorstep of a remote cabin in Colorado, Becka Johnson returns to try to discover her identity, but she only finds more questions. Who has been looking for her all those years? And why are those same people interested in fellow newcomer Philip Hansen?

  • DAI

    When twenty-five-year-old Mary Stuart learns she inherited a farm from her recently murdered grandparents -- grandparents her father claimed had died before she was born -- she becomes obsessed with finding out who they were and why someone wanted them dead.

    A Spark of Heavenly Fire

    In quarantined Colorado, where hundreds of thousands of people are dying from an unstoppable, bio-engineered disease, investigative reporter Greg Pullman risks everything to discover the truth: Who unleashed the deadly organism? And why?

    More Deaths Than One

    Bob Stark returns to Denver after 18 years in SE Asia to discover that the mother he buried before he left is dead again. At her new funeral, he sees . . . himself. Is his other self a hoaxer, or is something more sinister going on?

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