During all my years online (almost thirteen), I’ve been careful not to be too controversial. I am not a person who likes contention or welcomes insults. Too many people are reactionary, responding with emotion or the party line when anyone disagrees with their pet view of the world, and it’s not worth attracting such attention.
Admittedly, I don’t like people disagreeing me, either, but if that disagreement is accompanied by thoughtful (meaning full of thought) or thought-provoking ideas, it often leads to a new understanding of the matter. But rote remarks that simply iterate popular opinions don’t accomplish anything except to stop any dialogue and possible accord.
Unfortunately, this controversial time, with all the wrong information, misuse of statistics, and outright lies that pass for knowledge about first The Bob and then the riots has made me a bit less than close-mouthed. I’m still trying to be circumspect, so when a person I saw in real life disagreed with a comment I made, I let it go. It’s not worth discussing points of disagreement when you know nothing will come of it. Unfortunately, the person continued the discussion on Facebook with an insulting comment. Matters came to a head when I posted a controversial video on Facebook that pointed out some of the fallacies that are being disseminated, and sure enough, this person left another insulting comment. The comments weren’t bad, not what most people are faced with, but I didn’t want to deal with the situation. So I blocked the person. I’ve never done that before, but it seemed the right thing to do. I don’t know what I’ll do when I see this person around town, but that’s not a problem for today.
It just goes to show that I really do need to stay away from Facebook and other such sites, especially if I ever again let myself express unpopular opinions. I haven’t yet deleted my account, and I don’t plan to, but I am not happy with FB’s non-response to my appeals to have them remove the block they’ve put on my blog.
Luckily, I have plenty of offline things to do, such as organizing the things that are to be stored in the garage when it is finished. As hard as that work will be, especially with my bum knee, it’s easier than living in controversial times.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.
Bertram's Blog 
June 7, 2020 at 1:04 pm
It would be nice, if people could simply disagree without being disagreeable. The fine art of conversation seems to have flown out of the proverbial window. So sorry,that you have had a reactionary cut loose.
June 7, 2020 at 3:34 pm
It would also be nice if people could simply accept that someone disagrees. It’s easy to cut someone loosed online, a lot harder in real life in a small town. But I’ll deal with it. I always have, one way or another.
June 7, 2020 at 2:22 pm
That’s, unfortunately, the world we live in today, Pat. There is so much pressure on all of us to “virtue signal” the most politically correct side of any conversation is astounding and scary. Even me using the words “virtue signal” are bound to get me in trouble even here with someone who reads them. But, you know? I’m tired of it and I just don’t care anymore.
June 7, 2020 at 3:29 pm
I thought “doublethink” and “thought crimes” would always be just around the corner, and it’s chilling to realize this is not just a time of big brother and big government, but a time of almost total regimentation of thought and behavior. I continue to think about what is going on and search for some speck of truth, so apparently I still care, but I am fast reaching the point where I truly don’t care. It is not my world anymore, if, in fact, it ever was.
June 7, 2020 at 4:39 pm
That sounds unpleasant, sorry that happened. I only use social media for fun (just Instagram, some YouTube) and not to connect with family and friends because those faceless interactions aren’t real. For instance, sounds like your friend did alright face-to face, then it devolved online. Why not just insult you to your face, right? Because it’s much harder and it’s not polite.
I prefer the humanness of eye-to-eye, in-person contact. Never in my life has someone called me bad names to my face, even in the worst of times. Not even in high school! There’s something about being online that makes people just “blah!”
I hope everything works out with your and your friend. Take care 🙂
June 7, 2020 at 5:49 pm
Thank you!
I use (used) social sites to develop an online presence as an author, and they are probably still important for that reason. I only starting running into problems when I started connecting with people I knew offline. I think it’s time for me to rework my online philosophy! Because you’re right, it’s easier for people to be rude online.
June 8, 2020 at 7:58 am
Usually I don’t block or delete people because I figure there are a fixed number of idiots I have to deal with and there are an infinite number of idiots in the world to take the place of the one you deleted or blocked. I do remember one guy who was mean to me and then a few days later wanted me to join him in his virtual house. I told him I would when I forgot what a jerk he is.
June 8, 2020 at 2:36 pm
I really like your attitude! It gives me a way to deal in real life with the local person who insulted me online — to accept that I will have to contend with at least some idiots here in my new life. Better the idiot one knows, I suppose.
June 8, 2020 at 5:23 pm
right fill in all the idiot slots with old idiots that you know so that new idiots don’t have a slot and you don’t have to start all over again with them.
June 8, 2020 at 5:53 pm
Such a great response! You made me laugh, but you’re true and wise.