There are a lot of topics I stay away from mostly because . . . well, because I don’t welcome backlash. I’m just too sensitive. But sometimes a topic keeps staring at me, which makes it impossible not to face it. For example, every time I opened my internet browser the past couple of days, I had Google reminding me about pride month (small letters are my subtle rebellion), which reminds me that the only group in the whole country that’s not allowed to be proud are whites. If you’re proud to be white, then you’re automatically a white supremacist. According to some people, simply being white means you’re a white supremacist, which is utterly ridiculous. (And so is the term “white privilege,” now that I’m on my soapbox. It used to be that certain minority groups were considered under privileged, but that terminology, which was deemed racist, was replaced by “white privilege,” which is racist in a whole other way.) And why are whites so despised? We might not yet be the minority in western countries, but we are perhaps only 10% of the entire world population and destined to decline even further.
I’m not proud of being white, but not in any sort of apologetic way for crimes my ancestors never committed or crimes I am supposed to have committed simply for being born the way I am. I’m not proud because why would anyone be proud of the way they were born? It’s not something we could choose. It’s not something we did. It’s not something that took courage. It’s not something we earned. It’s simply who we are. Pride used to be a sin. Now it’s — apparently — something to celebrate.
I looked up the definition of “pride” in my actual book dictionary, printed before “diversity” was a thing, and pride is (or at least it used to be before the word was redefined) “Conceit. Disdainful behavior. Ostentatious display. A justifiable self-respect.” In other words, pride is not good unless you did something to earn your self-respect. (Or perhaps it’s just an excuse for that “ostentatious display” as the dictionary defined it?) But then, as I’m finding out, I’m terribly old-fashioned with old-fashioned values. I suppose I could be proud of that, but it’s not something to be proud about because it’s not something I earned. It’s just who I am.
I am proud of my writing skills — that is something I earned, something I worked hard for. I am proud of my blog, because it takes a certain discipline to keep a project going for almost twenty years. I am proud of being kind (mostly kind, anyway). I am proud of opening up and telling the truth about grief and dealing with the absence of a deceased spouse or life mate. I am proud of the work I’ve done on my yard, though I’m not necessarily proud of being a gardener, because the truth is, a garden does what a garden wants to do. (As I discovered again today. Years ago, I tried to plant a hollyhock garden, but it died and no other seeds ever grew. Until now. Apparently, the garden decided it wants hollyhocks.) I’m sort of proud of being a good photographer, but the photos are more from an excellent camera as well as the instinctual sense of artistry I was born with.
But being proud (or not proud) simply for of sake of pride? I don’t understand that. But then, I did say I was old-fashioned. As old fashioned as a hollyhock, actually.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One
Bertram's Blog 
June 2, 2026 at 8:11 am
I don’t think about the new crazy term “White Privilwge” at least most of the time. I just keep going on going on. I resent being judged but it has never done me much good, so I try to let it go. I love Hollyhocks they are somewhat old fashioned as am I . So it makes them good companions when ever I come across them. Have a blessed cool day.
June 2, 2026 at 8:13 am
Same to you!
June 2, 2026 at 9:17 am
I can’t speak for Pride celebrations, but I understand they are in response to the history of repression and oppression that people who belong to LGBQetc communities experienced. They are saying “We’re here, we’re okay being ourselves in public, and we’re not going to hide in shame and fear any longer. We’re going to show who we are with pride.” That’s how I take it, whether that’s true or not. The way I see it, these celebrations are for solidarity and awareness, which are still much needed.
White privilege? Hm. I live where there’s a lot of prejudice against First Nations people. They often live in poverty and whenever there’s a crime, the perpetrator is often a First Nations person. This leads to white people’s prejudice. But we white people seem unaware of the big picture. Why do they live in poverty and I do not? What’s the difference? I can think of one reason. My ancestors came here and could cheaply purchase, mostly with hard labour, farm land. Their sons could do the same. This property could be handed down through the generations, and I benefited from it. My people could afford to give me a good life and help me out when I needed it. How many First Nations young people were given the same? What did their parents have to help them out with? Why are so many First Nations people so screwed up? Oh there are a few reasons, and those come back to white people. Not that our ancestors meant to do what they did to First Nations cultures that were here, so I agree there’s no reason to be ashamed or guilty for being white, but the governments of the time (white men) meant to do it. And it was white people, mostly Europeans, who benefited by being able to buy the land that was stolen from the First Nations.
There’s so much to unpack here. The history is heartbreaking. The current situation of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women & Children is an epidemic here in Canada. There but for the grace of God go I. Maybe that is what white privilege is?
June 2, 2026 at 2:01 pm
Scapegoating an entire demographic for crimes their ancestors never committed only shifts the narrative. It doesn’t change anything. Yes, much of history is heartbreaking. The people who are committing the current crimes you speak of are the ones at fault, not some nebulous skin color.
June 3, 2026 at 3:39 am
Is requiring the Catholic Church to pay restitution to victims of sexual assault by some Catholic priests scapegoating all Catholics?
June 3, 2026 at 6:02 am
No, because it’s putting the blame on the institution that allowed it, not on the entire congregation who had nothing to do with it. No one is blaming individual Catholics who are innocent for the crimes of the guilty. At least, not as far as I know.