I’ve experienced many significant life events and life-changing experiences that influenced my perspective on life, but I don’t have any interest in rehashing any those past traumas. Nor do I have any present traumas to talk about since, luckily, I’m going through a rather static time right now. No major life experiences. I am still enamored with the experience of owning my own home and landscaping the yard, but that’s become simply my life.
What does affect me, and does more every day, is the passage of time. I’ve reached the age of no return — my body no longer heals itself quickly, and so small infirmities will begin to add up leading inevitably to a frailer old age than I might have envisioned. If I’m careful, I might not become as frail as I fear, so that’s the big way that time influences my perspective on life now —carefulness. Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is not some sort of esoteric practice, but a very practical way of approaching the end of the road — being careful. I used to move quickly, but now I move deliberately, mindful of where I place my feet. Too many older people have lost their independence because of a fall, and I’ve already destroyed enough of my body by falling (fake elbow, multiple pins in my wrist and forearm). I tend to think I’m still too young to have to worry about losing my independence, but things can happen in an instance, and I am not taking a chance. At least I’m trying not to.
I take care of myself as best as I can, though I admit, it’s not as good a job as I did when I was younger. I might also be coddling myself more than I should, using any small malady as an excuse not to exercise, but maybe coddling is a necessary a part of taking care of oneself.
I also do things like find chores in the kitchen while I’m cooking so that I don’t get distracted and walk away from a potential hazard. And I pay attention to the sort of accidents that happen when people get older so that I can protect myself, if at all possible, from that happening to me. (Not that we can protect ourselves from everything, but being careful means at least trying.)
Mostly, I’m grateful. Grateful for everything I can do. Grateful for every day I wake up. Grateful for every pain-free moment. Grateful I can still read and understand what I’m reading. Grateful I can still eat what I like. Grateful for the friends I have and the companionship they give me.
Just . . . grateful.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.
Bertram's Blog 
February 4, 2026 at 10:05 am
I’m grateful that I made it to retirement. I’m grateful for so many things. Every day. Regarding past trauma, if you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on those who didn’t cut you. But beyond that, and unlearning some unfortunate habits resulting from it, nope. I have better things to do than revisit that stuff.
February 4, 2026 at 10:34 am
Once past trauma is healed, it’s definitely better to leave it in the past. And speaking of grateful, I am grateful for your comments. I’ve enjoyed our interactions.
February 5, 2026 at 9:27 am
I have also enjoyed our interactions.
February 4, 2026 at 12:27 pm
I too am grateful for all I have been given. Especially for people, like you, who remind me to be grateful.
February 4, 2026 at 12:40 pm
Nice!
February 4, 2026 at 2:14 pm
Gratefulness is a worthwhile emotion. It can be the basis for contentment and a life that is happier than it might otherwise be. At least, that’s my experience. My years have slipped away at a sometimes unnerving pace, and because of increasing arthritis there are many things I can no longer do, but like you, I’m thankful for all the things I still can do, and prefer to focus on them. I’m now on the waiting list for a second knee replacement so am hopeful there will be some degree of increased mobility in my future. In the meantime, the sun is almost shining this afternoon and I think my cane and I will head out into the garden to prune our two rose bushes before their buds start to swell (which is likely to happen soon since we don’t seem to be getting any severe winter weather this year).
February 4, 2026 at 4:01 pm
Sounds like a plan! I hate to do anything to the garden until after the last frost (which doesn’t come until mid-May) because this area is notorious for late winters, but it’s warming up so much, I’ll probably have to water my lawn this weekend.
Best of luck for increased mobility!