When I was in my twenties and wanted to start running, I asked my brother, a track star, for advice. He told me to run a block every day. No more than that. No less than that. Then gradually increase distance. I followed his advice, and within a couple of months, I was regularly running a mile a day. I did that for years, and then one day, for some reason, I forgot to run. And gradually, the “forgetting” became more prevalent. Also, my work hours changed and my early morning running time disappeared.
Over the years, I tried to get back into running, always starting with that one block a day regimen, and it always worked. What didn’t, was me. Things always happened to change my routine, and if I wasn’t in the groove, the habit disappeared. Amazing — when you try to break a bad habit, it takes forever. When you inadvertently break a good habit, it takes a single day.
Long after I stopped being able to run, I used to dream of running. I loved that effortless feel of almost flying along those dreamscapes, though waking to the realization that I could barely plod along was painful. Luckily, those dreams eventually stopped.
I did various other exercise routines over the years. Jeff helped me with weightlifting, and as with running, the advice was to start light and then gradually increase. After he died and my weights were packed away in a storage unit, I took up other forms of exercise. Mostly hiking. Stretching. Yoga. Dance classes.
I set up my weights when I moved to my house, but I worried too much about damaging my fake elbow, and I didn’t want to one-sided weight lifting, so that exercise, too, disappeared. Pretty much all I do every day anymore is a stretching routine that keeps me relatively limber and at least gives me the illusion that I am exercising. Now that spring and gardening weather is here, I don’t worry about other forms of exercise — I get plenty of movement outside taking care of my yard. Or so I tell myself.
Oops. This post was supposed to be about building a regular fitness routine, and I’ve mostly been mentioning how to destroy a regular fitness routine.
For what it’s worth, the best way to do anything physical is to do what both my brother and Jeff suggested — start small and build up.
Writing this almost makes me want to go out and do some sort of exercise. The relevant word being “almost.” Though if I could go back to dance class, I’d do that in a heartbeat!
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One
Bertram's Blog 
May 15, 2026 at 12:08 am
Your ambition puts me to shame. I’ve never been a big fan of exercise, but do recognize its importance in achieving fitness. In my youth I danced and swam. As an adult I’ve enjoyed walking–or at least I did prior to developing arthritis. Now my knees and hips limit me to strolling with my cane for assistance! However, I’ve had one knee replacement and am awaiting a surgery date for the other, after which I hope I’ll be able to rediscover the pleasure of long walks. For now, the extent of my *exercise* is a daily half-block wander to the post box around the corner to collect our mail. LOL.
May 15, 2026 at 6:55 am
Well, I’m certainly not much for exercise now! I keep hoping . . . meantime, there’s always work in my yard to do. Sounds great about the knee replacement! I bet that will feel good, to be able to just wander around.
May 15, 2026 at 4:25 am
There’s so much “out there” I can’t control that doing a daily hour walk is a good reminder there is at least one thing where I have agency!
May 15, 2026 at 6:55 am
Good attitude! And so very true.
May 15, 2026 at 9:45 am
I sure do relate to the sudden “forgetting” about healthy routines. It’s happened to me many times, both with habits I would have been wiser to keep, and habits that didn’t matter one whit. Wordle was one of those. I did it every morning for months, even challenged Himself to see who could finish first, and then one day I forgot to do it and have never done it again. Himself is still not only doing the Wordle but has found some similar challenges online and is going great guns.
May 15, 2026 at 11:01 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who simply forgets a long-standing habit. Funny — I was the same way about Wordle!
May 17, 2026 at 11:22 am
Great minds, Pat … Great Minds! hehe
May 15, 2026 at 10:29 am
Pat, grief has taught me that you will do what you can when you can and that you alone are not in charge of every aspect of your life. So Hang in there with stretching and talk to others that may have similar concerns.
May 15, 2026 at 11:04 am
That’s for sure.