I’ve often heard people say that as they get older, it’s easier to remember their childhood than what they had for breakfast. I wonder how old you have to be before that sort of reverse memory kicks in. Or is it more of a dementia thing than an elderly thing?
Studies have shown that after 75, people tend to start becoming truly elderly, leaping ahead in the aging game. Before that age, people’s bodies can keep up with healing whatever goes wrong, but after that age, the ability to heal slows, and so the infirmities add up. Is it the same with mental issues?
So far, my memory seems okay, with only the typical problems people of all ages have of not being able to dig a particular word out of their memory or getting sidetracked and forgetting food on the stove. I am not yet to the point where I forget what I had for breakfast while remembering my childhood. In fact, there’s little about my childhood I remember or even want to remember. I certainly don’t remember being this little girl, though she was (is?) me.
For the most part, I don’t think about the past. It seems irrelevant, and to an extent, non-existent since no one knows where the past is. Mostly, though, I don’t have any issues with the past. I’ve come to terms with any problems that might have lingered, worked through grief, and dealt with my regrets. I purposely did so because back when I was taking care of my father after Jeff died, I knew that someday I’d be needing to create a new life for myself, and I didn’t want to bring along any excess baggage.
So what happens if I get to the point where my short-term memory is shot and my long-term memory is all I have? Do I have to go back to thinking about things I stopped thinking about long ago?
It’s not just the past I don’t think about — I usually don’t think about the future, either. Just as that little girl I once was could never imagine my life today, I’m thinking that the woman I am today can’t imagine what my life will be as the years pass. Of course, I know where the highway of my life will end — where it ends for everyone. Still, I find it best not to look too far ahead, since such views can be worrisome.
A funny thought (or maybe not so funny) — I read so much, a book a day usually, that other people’s lives are more in my mind than my own. When I get to where I forget today and start reminiscing, will I remember those lives as my own? Probably not — considering how much I read — starting a new book as soon as the old one is finished — I don’t give any book enough time to slither from short term memory to long term storage.
As with most of what I think about, none of this matters. These are just idle thoughts to fill an idle mind.
Still, I do wonder.
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.
Bertram's Blog 
January 11, 2026 at 9:55 pm
Memory is a fascinating thing. I recall somethings from years ago, but not all things, and so far, I’m not having a problem remembering current things. However, in my assorted writings I once put together a partial memoir for our family, and ten years later I look through the pages and don’t recognize some of the details–I can’t recall having written them at all! “I didn’t realize I even knew those facts,” I’ve been heard to claim.
From my “very advanced” age–I’m 86 now–I look back on my life and see it as a series of mental videos, each one covering an approximate twenty year block of time. From birth to 20, I went from being a baby, child, school girl, teenager, to becoming a married woman. Those years covered a lot. From 21-40, I was a wife, mother of four, devoted to them and their related activities while functioning as a minister’s wife within our church. From 41-60, give or take a few years, my children were married and moved away from home and I became a business owner. From 61-80, after eventually retiring, I enjoyed being a ‘homebody’, living rurally, engrossed in our home and garden.
I’m assuming this last video, covering from age 80-100 will end up being my last, and it makes me smile to realize how content I am with the status quo. I can pursue whatever catches my fancy, although I recognize I’m running short on the time some of my projects might need.
There’s no way to know what memories I will have ten years from now, if I’m still here, but I’m not sure it will matter much to me. I like living in the present, whatever that present happens to involve. 🙂
January 12, 2026 at 7:36 am
Sometimes I have need to check something on my blog, perhaps as a link in an article to a previous one, and it’s surprising how often I don’t remember the incident at all. For example, I would mention dreams about Jeff in the early years of my grief, and though at the time I remembered them long enough to report them, when I saw that report later, it was totally new.
I like your idea of seeing mental videos. In my case, I never “see” anything in my head. I’m mentally blind. (Aphantasia.) But I do remember things even without the actual mental images.
It’s nice that after all we’ve gone through, that we both ended up content with our status quo. With any luck, we can keep living in the present, and let the past and future take care of themselves.
January 12, 2026 at 2:48 pm
Don’t we all? Wonder that is.