Nothing on my to-do list ever gets done for the simple reason that I don’t have a to-do list. If I did have a to-do list, the first thing on the list would be to make a to-do list, which I would not do, so again, the answer would be that nothing on my to-do list ever gets done.
I’m of the firm belief that what doesn’t need to be done today should be put off until tomorrow. And if there is something that needs to be done today? I do it. Simple. If I know ahead of time I will need to do something today (because each day I kept putting it off until tomorrow, and tomorrow finally came), I put a reminder on my calendar. For example, this was the last day to pay my car insurance, which I know because it’s on my calendar, so I did it. But I remembered anyway, so the reminder was simply insurance insurance. (If that doesn’t make sense, no problem; I often try to be clever and only end up being too clever for my own good.) I occasionally leave myself a sticky note to remind me of something I need to remember to do, such as letting a faucet drip during our below freezing nights. I suppose each of those sticky notes could be construed as a list, but a list with a single reminder isn’t much of a list.
I come by leaving myself occasional notes honestly. My father always did it, though my mother never did. In fact, she was a bit bemused by his reminders. She often told the story of coming across a note he wrote before they were married reminding him to marry her. “Would you really have forgotten to marry me?” she supposedly asked. And his answer, “No, but I didn’t want to take a chance.”
The note apparently worked because they did get married. They celebrated their sixtieth anniversary a couple of months before my mother died. The January before their September anniversary, doctors diagnosed my mother with cancer and told her she had three to six months to live. She told them that wasn’t good enough. She needed nine months. The anniversary was that important to her, and she did make it. (The photo accompanying this article is one taken of all us women at the get-together.)
I think I’m getting off the track here. But really, what is there to say about a to-do list that doesn’t list anything to do?
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.
Bertram's Blog 
February 3, 2026 at 10:15 am
My wife likes to gently tease me about my lists. I remembered to propose without writing it down. Your story about your mother making it to her anniversary is beautiful.
February 3, 2026 at 11:32 am
Thank you. It was nice remembering her. And hey, good for you, remembering to propose without writing it down. A good sign, for sure.
February 3, 2026 at 4:00 pm
I probably should take a hint from you. However, I do a to do list every day. I also have a calendar for doctor’s appts. and the like. The like being birthdays for children their spouses and my grand children and now 2 great grand daughters. However, I do get frustrated that I can’t do as much as I used to and some things get put on the list until I feel stressed and just find a time to do them.
February 3, 2026 at 4:20 pm
I can understand that. Calendars are important for birthdays and appointments and such, if for no other reason that the days just tend to get away from us. I figure if I forget something that I need to do, then I don’t need to do it immediately. If I stress about it enough, it’s a niggle in my mind and so I’m not likely to forget. If that niggle gets too annoying, then I do it. One thing I’ve learned to do is pay attention to things I think of doing at the time. For example, I was walking to the store one day, and noticed that my contractor had left some sort of rope lying around, and in passing, I thought, “I’ll need to put that away or I’ll trip on it.” And on my way home, I tripped on it. A full body splat. Another time something similar happened, though not as serious, and that’s when it dawned on me that these passing thoughts needed to be acted on immediately. Other than that, I just try to do what I can when I can. But yeah, I hear you. stress isn’t good for us.
February 3, 2026 at 7:43 pm
I havent a list either I get on with what I have to do and pay everything but 1 by direct debit the one gets paid on payday no remindeŕ needed lol. Its good to see I’m not alone everyone is writing their list I am just knitting waiting til spring to start on my garden 😊
February 3, 2026 at 8:07 pm
Me, I’m blogging until it’s time to start my garden. A good thing to look forward to.
February 3, 2026 at 8:11 pm
Definitely although I get more interesting when the sun çomes out lòĺ
February 4, 2026 at 2:31 pm
I’m a big list maker but I love your perspective. The to do list for me is a reminder to do those things that need to get done sprinkled with things I’d like to get done, which rarely ever get done!
February 4, 2026 at 4:03 pm
One thing about a list that you list makers have and I don’t is that satisfying feeling of finally crossing something off that list! Maybe one day you’ll actually do those things that rarely get done just to have them gone.