Bertram's Blog

Garage Update

May 18, 2020 — Pat Bertram

It feels as if it has been months since the men were here working on my garage, but it hasn’t even been three weeks. Wow, time sure goes slow when one is having fun — or not!

There have been a couple of things stalling the work — one is that although the lumber yard ordered my door and opener over a month ago, they haven’t had anyone who could deliver it. Something to do with The Bob. People laid off due to falling revenue or out sick or some such.

Another reason is that although the contractor can do the electrical work and in fact had included it in the overall labor cost, the county demands that the work be done by a licensed electrician. I’m not exactly happy about that since it will be adding tremendously to the cost of the garage, but perhaps it won’t be as much of a financial burden as I fear. I can only hope for the best (and hope that the contractor will be able to work out a deal for me.)

There is only one licensed electrician that would agree to do the work and would agree to coordinate with the delivery of the garage door. The last I heard, they will be here Thursday. Or Friday. Or . . .

It’s interesting to me how so much of the work I need done is dependent on other work being done. For example, I need a stoop level with the back door so I can actually use the door as a door. (That extraordinarily deep step up and done is what destroyed my knee, so I can no longer go outside that way, though it’s only me that has a problem. None of the workers have any difficulty going in and out that door, but then, they are all a lot younger and stronger than I am. And anyway, I’m the one who has to live with that hazardous step so it’s my ability or lack thereof that counts.) But that can’t be done until the concrete for the garage apron and the sidewalk from house to garage ready to be poured, and of course, none of that can be done until the garage is finished, and it can’t be finished until I get the door installed and the electricians here.

Nor can I do any landscaping or have them work on the house foundation (fill in some cracks and coat the concrete to protect it) until the garage is done and the old carport removed and . . .

You get the point.

In other words, there is no garage update because there has been no more updating the garage. But soon!

Maybe.

***

Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator.

Posted in house, life. Tags: building a garage, coordinate work on a garage, destroyed knee, electrical work, garage apron, landscaping, updating a garage, waiting for workers. 7 Comments »

Treasures in My Yard

May 17, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I check in with Facebook occasionally, but I’m gradually weaning myself away. They are still blocking any links to my blog with no explanation other than that it goes against their community guidelines on spam. One of the truly annoying aspects is they keep sending me notifications telling me I need to post on my page if I want viewers, so now I purposely post spam — links to my books on Amazon and Smashwords. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t yet downloaded it, A Spark of Heavenly Fire is available as a free download from Smashwords in all ebook formats. You can find the book here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1842. Be sure to use the coupon code WN85X when purchasing.)

To be honest, I’m just as glad to be staying away from people, especially those who so close-mindedly believe what they believe without taking any other idea into consideration. And usually these are the very people who pride themselves on their intelligence and open-mindedness. Me? I’m willing to take all ideas into consideration as long as they agree with my established beliefs. (And yes — that is a joke! A bad one, but still an attempt at humor. In truth, I like ideas that challenge me and help me see things in a different light, I just don’t like people dismissing my ideas out of hand and being coerced into believing what others think is true.)

I’m continuing my efforts to hearten myself, though the Bob crisis is the least of my worries. The knee is a greater problem, and I’d be more worried but I know from experience that knees take a long time to heal. Or at least mine do. The last time I damaged a knee it took over a year for it to return to normal. It’s the knee more than anything else that’s keeping me home and isolated. Since I can’t go out walking, I roam my yard, looking for treasures.

Today I was delighted to discover a wild rose in full bloom as well as a bud. These are on bushes we dug up to make room for the garage apron, and transplanted elsewhere. Since the transplants were fairly tall, I didn’t expect to have much luck with them filling out for another year or two, but I had to cut back one to keep it from spreading out over the walkway, and when I noticed how well that one did, I cut most of the others back, too. (Some that had been in the middle of a clump were nothing but long empty thorny stems with but a bit of branching at the very top, so I was afraid to lop them off.)

The rose bushes seem to be doing well. Although I have poor luck with bulbs and no luck with seeds, I do seem to be able to keep transplants alive.

The wild iris that is moving into my yard is also doing well, probably because it wasn’t a bulb I planted.

The poor captive roses that got caught between the garage next door and my fence are also starting to bloom. Such a joy to see any color!

From the photos, you might think I have a fabulous garden, but what I mostly have is dirt with a few sparse weeds, an unfinished garage, building supplies, and a displaced carport taking up most of my yard. To add to the muddle, I ordered metal shelves for the garage — fifteen feet of them in five sections. I’ll need help putting them together since each section weighs 62 pounds, but that’s not something to worry about now. The garage needs to be finished first.

Meantime, I am babying my knee, roaming the fictional world in The Wheel of Time, and being heartened by the treasures I find in my yard.

***

Posted in home, life. Tags: captive roses, close-minded people, damaged knee, facebook and spam, facebook blocking my blog, the wheel of time, transplanting bushes, wild roses. 11 Comments »

Being Heartened

May 16, 2020 — Pat Bertram

The title of this article is in keeping with my most recent blogs. In Being Me, I wrote about the punishing aspects of isolation, but how even in isolation, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing — being me. In Being Herded, I wrote about the dangers of social and cultural conditioning — being behaviorally primed — in an already dangerous situation.

Today, I need to write about being heartened, because the truth is, I am very disheartened. States are still adhering to laws and orders that were meant to protect us from a disease destined to kill off 66% percent of us. The disease hasn’t done even a fraction of the damage that had been projected, and yet the iron grip still holds. To enforce orders keeping people away from each other when it has been proven over and over again how important it is to see and touch people for overall health (and without overall health, there is no way to recover quickly from any disease, let alone The Bob) is unconscionable. I’m not saying there isn’t a danger of getting sick — there is. But It should be a choice to isolate if one wants. Older people should not be left to die alone from diseases that have nothing to do with The Bob. Loved ones should not be kept from saying goodbye.

And to see small business going under and people losing their livelihood even after the original pandemic models have proven to be drastically overinflated is heart wrenching. Oh, so many things are wrong about this situation that it makes me glad Jeff isn’t here. It would have crushed him to lose his store because of such an appalling unjustice. (Made even more unjust because small stores way more than large can offer a safe shopping experience.)

Oops. I hadn’t planned to write all that especially since I am getting disheartened again after all my efforts to hearten myself earlier this morning. And I did have a lovely morning. Since my knee still isn’t allowing walks, and since I can’t go on an adventure, I decided to go adventuring in my own yard.

It was definitely heartening to see that the larkspur I transplanted from a neighbor’s yard last year reseeded itself and is doing well. It’s especially heartening considering the fiasco of my spring bulbs. Some of the tulip buds froze, some of the daffodils never flowered, some of the bulbs never even poked up out of the ground. I’m not sure what the problem was except that I am inexperienced gardener dealing with a terrible drought and a soil that sometimes defeats even the best gardeners.

And yet, despite the problematic conditions, some bulbs do well with a bit of water. These iris come from a bed in my neighbor’s yard, but they sneaked over the fence when I watered a nearby bush, and now they are mine to love.

And this little cactus bud truly delights me. I transplanted the cactus from another neighbor’s yard last fall, and it withered (looked like it melted, actually). I was disappointed, but not unduly — it took a long time to get the prickles out of my gardening gloves and even my hands so I wasn’t exactly pleased with the plant. But now look! It wants to grow.

Ah, now I feel so much better! Being heartened makes such a difference I hope you find a way to hearten yourself.

***

Posted in life. Tags: bad soil, cactus, disheartened, forcing small businesses to close, injustice during the epidemic, iris photo, keeping people away from one another, larkspur. 7 Comments »

Being Herded

May 15, 2020 — Pat Bertram

Social and cultural conditioning are processes where members of society consciously or unconsciously herd the other members into behaviors and thoughts that are acceptable to the group as a whole. This form of herding one another is a great survival tool out in the wild where cooperation is necessary, but now seems to only stifle those who can’t be or won’t be herded. Conditioning is one reason it’s so hard for others to grasp the scope of grief. Not only can non-grievers not understand grief, they can’t accept it. Their every interaction with the bereft is geared toward herding grievers back into the fold of societal norms.

The jargon of grief is that of illness, of negativity, of . . . fault, as if somehow we who are grieving chose our state and now we have to overcome, heal, recover, move on, get over, return to normal. By blaming us for grieving too long, by refusing to admit that our grief is normal, by assuming our inability to respond to their herding instincts is due to our stubbornness or damaging behavior, onlookers to our grief can more comfortably return to their own lives, and leave us alone with our sorrow.

This herding is called behavior priming and is prevalent in almost all group interactions. I was painfully aware of the process after Jeff died, and I’m particularly aware of it now, when certain phrases are bandied about with no objective, it seems, other than to force us into groupthink. For example, “We’re in this together.” No, we’re not. As I’ve mentioned before, everyone is coming at this situation from their own unique point of view. A person who lives alone, who has been laid off, who is in danger of losing their home or business is not living through the same crisis as a person who still has a secure job and comes home to a loving family.

“Safer in place” is another example of a phrase used to herd folks, but again, they are simply words without any real meaning. Sure, a person who lives alone and never sees anyone is safe, but what if that “place” is a nursing home? Definitely not safe, considering that in Colorado, as in many states, the majority of deaths have taken place in nursing homes.

Which brings me to the point of this particular discourse. The most common priming comments from people who disagree with those who urge the reopening of the economy are “You don’t value life,” “You’re trying to kill people,” “You want your grandmother to die,” or variations of the same, all herding people toward a certain ideology without taking into consideration the deaths and devastation that are already occurring because of the lockdown and will continue to occur when the strictures are lifted.

Besides, if the goal was to protect the elderly, then we failed abysmally, considering all the nursing home deaths.

This is what keeps going around and around in my head. If 80% of deaths from The Bob occur in those over 60, that means 20% of deaths occur in those under 60. If you subtract out the 60% of nursing home deaths from “free range” elderly, you also get 20%. So, it seems to me that if a person isn’t in a nursing home, there is no reason to protect the elderly more than the younger folks since the death rates are more or less the same.

Just another very confusing aspect of this Bob situation.

None of my cogitation will change anything, but it does help steer me away from being primed, keeps from reacting emotionally to those trying to herd me into the fold, and allows me to ponder the various ramifications of our current situation.

And that’s all to the good. My good, anyway.

***

Posted in life, relationships. Tags: behavior priming, cultural conditioning, cultural conditioning and grief, nursing home deaths, protecting the elderly, social conditioning, social conditioning and grief, social conditioning and the pandemic. 8 Comments »

Being Me

May 14, 2020 — Pat Bertram

A handyman who does maintenance at the prison stopped by last evening to see about fixing my washer. (It gets stuck in the final spin cycle as if the basket is unbalanced, and then it won’t unlock, in case you’re wondering.) We wore masks and stayed apart, in case you’re wondering that, too.

His diagnostic checks took longer than he expected, so he apologized and asked if he was keeping me from going anywhere. I had to laugh at that. “I’m still in lockdown,” I said. I reminded him that although the state is loosening some of its restrictions, people over sixty are still supposed to be staying at home at all times except for essential errands. Then I mentioned how isolating being isolated was when you lived alone.

That seemed to startle him, and he said, “I never thought of that.” Then he added in a reflective tone of voice, “Isolation is how we punish the prisoners.”

We went on to talk about how this crisis has affected us, and he admitted it hasn’t affected him all that much. He still goes to work, still returns to his loving family in the evening. And me? Just about the only times I see anyone are the rare occasions someone comes to work here or the rarer occasions when I happen to encounter my next door neighbor.

We went on to talk about how strongly people hold to their opinions, and how they try to intimidate others to accept that opinion, if only by ridicule or scathing remarks. I mentioned that no one ever changed anyone’s mind, and it is true. Heated argument doesn’t change anyone’s mind, but sometimes . . . just sometimes . . . a rational discussion can help the other person see a different point of view.

Obviously, the handyman’s learning that for some people ‘isolation” is not just a word in an official order but a punishing lifestyle won’t change anything except his awareness, but it reminded me how necessary it is to continue writing, to continue telling my point of view. That it is my point of view is just that — my point of view. But it is also what makes the telling so important — no one else thinks exactly as I do or sees the world as I do because they are not me.

And being me, even in isolation, is what I am supposed to be doing.

***

Posted in being me, life. Tags: changing people's minds, differing points of view, handyman, importance of writing, isolation, lockdown, my point of view, strong opinions. 6 Comments »

What Happened to Moderation?

May 13, 2020 — Pat Bertram

What happened to moderation? The anger, fear, contempt, and belligerence that so many people feel toward those they disagree with about the handling of The Bob seem way too extreme to me. For example, those who desperately want a vaccine are furious with those who say they won’t take it even if offered. Why so scathing? When there is a vaccine, those who want it should get it and those who don’t should have the right to refuse. If you believe in the vaccine, then you are protected whether anyone else gets it or not, so what difference can it make to you what others do? And if you don’t think the vaccine is effective enough to protect you against those who aren’t vaccinated, then why get it?

I don’t care one way or another about a vaccine, certainly not to the point of fighting about it. All I really care about is not being forced — again — into getting a dubious vaccine. I was put into that situation during the swine-flu scare in the 1970s, and it left me (and many others) worse off than if we hadn’t been inoculated. Way more people got sick from the vaccine and even died than from the flu itself. So you can see why I’d be leery of getting a hurriedly concocted and untested vaccine.

But that was just an example of a heated controversy off the top of my head, not necessary what I want get off mind.

There is more anger and fear and coming to blows over opening up businesses again than there seems to be over The Bob itself. Although the current buzz phrase is that “we’re all in this together,” the truth is, we are not. Everyone is coming at this from their own world view, from their own situation. Politicians, leaders, and news media, of course, are trying to spin this in the best possible light to foster their own interests, but so are all of us individuals. A person who is totally isolated in her own home feels differently from one who is snug inside with a loving family. A person who still has an income feels differently from one who has lost their job, can’t get unemployment, and is on the verge of losing their home. A person who continues to read all sorts of publications and listens to all sorts of experts, not just the major media or appointed experts, has a different view from someone who has already made up their mind about what is going on.

And a person in a small town in a small county in a small part of a state with but one confirmed case and an asymptomatic one at that, has an entirely different view of the world than one who is mired in a big city with a huge number of cases. I’m not the only one to see the short-sightedness of a one-size-fits all Bob plan. The tri-county area here is petitioning the state for a variance to the current safer-at-home orders. Considering that these counties are impoverished to begin with, shutting down the economy was really disastrous.

Of course, they had no choice. According to the now discredited models of how many people were going to get sick and how many were going to die even with stay-at-home orders in place, they had to prepare. (I’d heard a rumor that this county had ordered hundreds of beds and had planned to set up an infirmary in the community center since there is no hospital here and the two nearest ones would have had their own problems.) And, to get any sort of help, the cities had to declare an emergency. Later, of course, when the state got in the act to protect those in the major cities, the local folks no longer had a choice. They had to shut everything down and keep it shut down.

Some people here are pleased with the possibility of a variance, others are totally appalled and terrified. It would be nice to see things opened up more and stores back in business, but it won’t make any difference to me. I have nowhere to go, and just because the city might be removing some restrictions, it doesn’t mean I have to go out among people if I think it’s a risk.

One statistic is especially telling. Normally in a year, 75% of deaths are those who are over 65. 80% of the deaths from The Bob are over 65. Most younger people who get The Bob either have no symptoms or who have a few symptoms that don’t cause much damage. The thing is, no one can protect us from everything. And despite what people say, the government’s job is not just to keep us safe. If so, then speed limits even on highways would be considerably below 45 mph, sugar would be a controlled substance rather than a subsidized business, and damaging drugs like statins would be off the market. Not that I want any of those things to happen — there is too much interference in our lives as it is, and if this current situation tells me anything, it’s that ever more interference will be the norm.

And no, I’m not saying to sacrifice the elderly. I am saying protect the elderly. (Or let them protect themselves if they can and want to. A lot of people I know are willing to take a chance on The Bob to have a bit of a life, and that is their perogative.) I am saying let people do what they want. If you don’t like it, you can continue to stay home. Speaking as an elder, I certainly wouldn’t choose to tank an entire economy, either a rather shaky local one or robust global one, just to protect me. I could understand when inundating the hospitals was a possibility, and I could understand when a shortage of ventilators was an issue, but since hospitals around here aren’t overflowing, since makeshift infirmaries aren’t necessary, and since ventilators kill more Bob sufferers than they help, it’s not an issue.

I know some of you are getting angry reading this because it goes against what you believe or who you have chosen to believe. You might even be one of those who think it’s important to be safe at all cost — so be safe. I will, at least to the best of my ability. But if by chance I get sick, well . . . I still wouldn’t choose to penalize the entire town to prevent it.

Most of all, I will be moderate. Someone needs to be.

***

Posted in life. Tags: all in this together, government is supposed to keep us safe, lack of moderation in quarantine, moderation, opening up the economy, safety, staying safe, we are not all in this together. 20 Comments »

Not Cowering, Not Courageous

May 12, 2020 — Pat Bertram

What if there were hundreds of thousands of people dying in Colorado alone, not just the 987 who have died so far? Would you have the courage to live, to fall in love, to open your home to those less fortunate, to try to find out who unleashed the microscopic beast as my characters in A Spark of Heavenly Fire did?

Apparently, I wouldn’t. I’m following orders and staying home. Alone. Not much courage in that. No spark of heavenly fire, either, that’s beaming up and blazing in this dark hour of adversity.

I’m not exactly cowering, but I am paying attention to the stay-at-home order even though most people in my age group aren’t. Little by little they are claiming their lives, going out and doing non-essential things, getting together in small groups. If my knee were healed, I might join some of them, especially those who meet outside, but my knee makes me feel vulnerable. I’ve also spent so much time alone that I fear my immune system isn’t exactly in tip-top shape, so I’d be especially susceptible to any small illness that comes along.

So, not cowering, not courageous. Just pragmatic.

I do worry, though. I have spent so much time in the years since Jeff died trying to be sociable despite my inclination to not go out, that I fear this time of being forced into staying home will make it all but impossible for me to gain the energy to overcome my natural hermit tendencies. I used to say “yes” to all invitations because that forced me out of my nest, but now I find myself saying “no.” Eventually, people will stop asking.

Although I do believe that The Bob was never severe enough to merit the measures that were taken to keep us home and to “flatten the curve” to keep the ill from overwhelming hospitals (the projection of deaths was built on a flawed model that was discredited months ago), I would probably have stayed home anyway. I tend to catch things easily and be sick longer than most people — and did so even when I was younger — that I have learned to take extra precautions, though I admit, those precautions probably would not have been as strict as the stay-at-home orders.

Luckily, I have the choice. Luckily, I have a lovely house in which to stay home.

And luckily for you, for the next month, A Spark of Heavenly Fire will be available as a free download from Smashwords in all ebook formats. You can find the book here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1842. Be sure to use the coupon code WN85X when purchasing.

I figure that by the time the world gets back to normal — or as normal as it will ever get — people will be sick of the very word “quarantine,” and won’t want to have anything to do with novel diseases or diseases in a novel, which is why I giving it away now. I hope I’m wrong about people not wanting to read about devastating diseases after this is all through because A Spark of Heavenly Fire is more than a story about a pandemic — it’s the story of survival in the face of brutality, government cover-up, and public hysteria. It is also a story of love: lost, found and fulfilled.

It certainly is not about a woman who stayed home. Where’s the story in that?

***

Posted in books, life. Tags: A Spark of Heavenly Fire, flattening the curve, not courageous, Not cowering, people dying in Colorado, saying yes, stay at home orders, trying not to get sick. 11 Comments »

Broken World

May 11, 2020 — Pat Bertram

The garage door and opener were supposed to be delivered today so the construction guys could come do some more work on my garage, but the lumberyard now says they can’t deliver the door until next week. Apparently, they don’t have a driver due to The Bob. It’s just as well – it’s cloudy and cold with a good chance of rain, though I doubt the rain aspect of today’s weather — there has been so little moisture the last several months and the ground is so desiccated that I think the rain gods have forgotten how to find us.

Still, the wind is picking up, so who knows . . . Of course, if the forecast is at all correct, by the time the door gets here, we’ll be back up in the 90s, and that’s not good weather for building either!

Oddly, I’m not that disappointed about the garage, but I am disappointed not to have the workers here. It would add a bit of excitement to my life and I wouldn’t feel quite so isolated. They might try to get the door here themselves later in the week, but if not, well, there is one thing to look forward to — a picnic at home. The director of the senior center will be visiting each of us for a few minutes this Saturday to check to see how we are doing and to drop off a picnic lunch. It will be good to see her, though maintaining social distancing requirements means no hug. Too bad — I’m feeling touch-starved. Even though all of us seniors won’t be in one place, we will be enjoying a meal together. Even better, it will be a meal I don’t have to fix!

A few friends have been gathering occasionally to play dominoes, and I’ve considered joining them, but I can’t wear a mask for that long, and anyway, although I would like seeing them, I don’t really enjoy playing. Next month, though, regardless of the state of The Bob and the whatever continued requirements there are for us seniors, the Art Guild will be meeting. It will be outside on someone’s patio so we don’t get too close to one another, but oh, such a treat!

Meantime, there is today. I’ve done my stint on the elliptical, am finished writing this blog post, can’t take a walk since I overdid it yesterday, don’t have any urgent yard work to do. I guess I’ll make a cup of tea and escape into The Wheel of Time where some people have the power to heal and some have the power to break the world.

I just realized — that’s what this whole Bob thing feels like: a broken world. Hopefully, by the time I finish reading the saga and that fictional world is put right, our real world will also be put right.

***

Posted in home, life. Tags: breaking the world, building a garage, garage door, isolation, no hugs, picnic at home, rain forecast, the bob. 6 Comments »

Circadian Rhythm Change

May 10, 2020 — Pat Bertram

Despite the isolation and continued stay-at-home orders for seniors, there doesn’t seem to be much change in my life because I often go long periods of time without seeing people and I often struggle with meals — juggling what I should eat with what I want to eat with what’s available to eat. I have, however, noticed one rather puzzling difference: a change in my circadian rhythms.

I’d read of tests where people who have to rely on their own rhythms to set a sleep/wake cycle often deal with a longer day — going to sleep later each night and waking up later every morning. That was always true for me. When I had long stretches where I don’t have to get up at certain time every day, I found that I’d go to bed later and later. The only thing that would reset my internal clock was if I set my external clock and got up at the same time every morning. It wasn’t comfortable, and I was tired all the time — sort of like being on a constant self-imposed daylight savings time change — but it would keep my circadian rhythms on more of an even keel. (I’ve always felt best going to bed around midnight and getting up at nine in the morning, which played havoc with my system all those years when I had to get up to go to work.)

Now, however, my rhythms are going haywire. I tend to fall asleep during the day, and even with the naps, I often fall asleep early — as early as 8:00pm instead of my usual midnight. And I wake up early, sometimes as early as 4:00am. I didn’t even know there was such a time! Yesterday, I managed to fall asleep again and slept in until 7:00am, but this morning I was up at 5:30.

I don’t know what to do with those early hours. I don’t want to read that early in the morning because . . . actually, I don’t know why. It just seems wrong. When I’d get up at my usual time, I often would check in with my online friends via Facebook, but now that FB has boycotted my blog, I am (mostly) boycotting the site. I could play solitaire, but 5:30 is too early to strain my eyes with a computer screen.

Luckily, my knee felt well enough today that I decided to attempt a short walk outside.

It actually felt good being out that early. Until I got back home. Oh, the knee was fine, that wasn’t the problem. I’d forgotten that people around here who don’t like taking their dogs for a walk let them out early in the morning to roam around. (The code enforcer isn’t working then and even when he is, he seems to ignore loose dogs.) There were two huge dogs on the sidewalk outside my house, and they seemed to have no inclination to let me get near my gate, so I turned around and took another walk. (I don’t know who they belonged to since I’d never seen them before, but that doesn’t say much. Considering all the new and frequent sounds of barking in the neighborhood, it seems as if some of my neighbors have acquired new dogs.)

When I returned, the animals were gone. I might have overdone it knee-wise with the extra walking, but I’m grateful I didn’t have to fight with those monsters. I did still have to water my transplanted bushes, though, as well as the few flowers that are struggling to come up. (It’s so dry here that it doesn’t take much to turn the yard into a desert). By the time I got back inside, I could feel my knee complaining.

At least I don’t have to worry about what to do today. Resting my knee seems a good plan. Maybe I’ll even take a nap.

***

Posted in culture, life. Tags: a change in my circadian rhythms, boycotting facebook, circadian rhythm going haywire, falling asleep, falling asleep early, resetting internal clock, sleep/wake cycle, taking naps. 2 Comments »

Reasons For Gratitude

May 9, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I took a chance today and posted one of my blog links on my Facebook author page, hoping the ban was a mistake on their part, but nope. This blog is still banned for violating their spam standards. It upset me, though it shouldn’t have. I know what they had done, and to be upset about it yet again seems a bit foolish. Still, not being able to post the link to my daily articles so that people I know on FB can see what I write, coupled with having deleted a couple of posts that were bringing hordes of the wrong kind of people has played havoc with my readership and search engine referrals. (The more people one has viewing one’s blog, the higher one’s ranking in the search engines, and the higher one’s ranking, the more people will view the blog.) Still, the people who want to read my posts follow me, and the people who need to read my grief posts should be able to find me . . . eventually.

In an effort to change my attitude after stopping by FB, I decided to make pierogi. (For those who don’t know, they are a Polish potato dumpling served with sour cream.) The long-drawn-out process — preparing the potato and cheese filling, preparing the egg-noodle dough, filling the dough squares, boiling the dumplings and then frying them — is complicated enough when more than one person is involved in the preparations, but with one person doing it all, it takes hours. But those hours were spent not thinking about anything since mostly it’s muscle memory work, so that was all to the good.

Now I’m back to myself, taking things as they come, which is even better. And for the most part, what comes is pleasant enough. I can’t go out for walks yet, but a bit of research told me that an elliptical is a great exercise for knees, and it just so happens, I have an elliptical — a hand-me down from a brother who didn’t particularly like it. I hadn’t been using the machine because all the boxes that were stored in the old garage are now stored in my exercise room, but I moved things around so I could get to the elliptical. The exercise is not something I can do for more than a few minutes at a time since it’s a much harder workout than simply walking, but it isn’t hurting my knee any, and perhaps it’s doing some good.

One of the things aggravating my knee was the steep step up into the house through the back door. Now that I know that the step was putting too much of a strain on my knees, I use the front door, even though I end up tracking dirt into the living room. (Which is why, obviously, I was using the back door.) There are plans for a new back stoop area that eliminates the steep step, but since it will be a ramp from the back door of the house to the pedestrian door of the garage, it can’t be done until the garage is built.

The garage has been on hiatus the past ten days or so — although the local lumber yard has my garage door, they won’t be able to deliver it until next week (something to do with The Bob — maybe people out sick?) So, with a bit of luck, there will be some progress made on the garage next week.

Meantime, there are many volumes of The Wheel of Time left to be re-read.

So, despite the whole insulting spam thing, there are reasons for gratitude. I’m mostly healthy, mostly well-fed, mostly content. And if I am isolated, at least I am isolated in my own house. And for that I am especially grateful.

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