When one blogs every day, which apparently I am doing, topics are sometimes hard to find. Usually, I write about what is currently in my head in an effort to clear it out — I do not like thoughts careening around in all that echoey space. Sometimes, though, what is in my head is not something I want to go on record as saying, especially when it touches on current events and policies. There is too much volatility surrounding the vocalization of such thoughts, which would only serve to add more careening thoughts to those already in my head.
WordPress, the platform that hosts my blog, offers a daily prompt that I sometimes make use of, but most are of topics that leave my mind blank. Nothing to say. Move on.
During previous bouts of daily blogging, I kept a list of blog topics, and sometimes I refer to that list to find something I’d like to write about. Oddly, I was able to delete many of those topics because they recently came up on the WordPress daily prompt. In fact, those from the prompt and those on my list showed up in the very same order, so apparently, they replay the same topics.
Mostly, though, I check out the list, and then put it away again, still not having anything to say about any of those items.
I do have a response to: “What Are Your Two Favorite Things to Wear?” Comfortable clothes with the addition of a hat when I go outside. But that’s the total extent of my thoughts on the subject, so it really doesn’t do much good as a prompt.
But I have no response to: “What is the worst thing you have ever done?” Cripes, I sure as heck don’t want to dig around in my memory bank looking for such a thing. If I’ve forgotten it, that’s all to the good since it probably means I’ve made amends or come to terms with my actions or it’s so far in the past that it no longer matters. The worst thing I’ve done today is renege on my intention to stay away from anything that can be construed as news — I did some research for a friend but stopped after I started getting jittery.
Nor do I have a response for: “What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you?” I suppose the logical answer would be Jeff’s death, but the fact is, it was a heck of a lot worse for him than me since he’s sixteen years gone and I’m still here. I also don’t like the thought of making his death about me, though my grief was all about me and how I tried to get through the days until I found a new way of being. But I’ve written hundreds of posts about that grief and don’t need to rehash any of it. As for the worst thing that happened to me today? Perhaps that jittery feeling at catching a glimpse of what’s going on in the world.
I should have a response to: “What moment are you proudest of in your life?” But I don’t. If I thought about it, I’m sure there would be many things I am proud about, but as for a single moment, such as standing up to a bully or saving the world with a well-placed word, there’s nothing. Except perhaps for keeping my mouth shut over what exactly in the news today gave me the jitters.
The following item on the list is not a question, more of a theme for a blog: “Don’t like doing, like having done.” I touched on that a few weeks ago when I wrote about not doing anything for fun. I do a lot of things, not so much for enjoyment, but simply for the doing, though I like having done the things. Like gardening for example.
Another theme that I think on. A while back, a friend said to me, “I was told once I was dead. Then we laughed.” Although this comment doesn’t prompt me to write anything in a blog post, it would make a good theme for a book, perhaps a horror story, or even a story about someone coming back as an angel.
Which brings me to yet another prompt: “write a novel about someone, perhaps an angel unaware who changes the life of everyone she meets, not in an It’s a Wonderful Life sort of way, but just someone going about life and things change.” It’s been done many times, I’m sure. In fact, I know it has since I hear echoes of those stories in the back of my mind.
Another prompt: Joe Hill said, “Getting Old is No Way to Stop Being Young” Sure it’s true, but a whole blog post on the obvious? I think not.
Then there’s Paul Coelho who wrote, “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” I think about this frequently. In fact, I tend to believe it’s true. But by the time I “unbecame” as much as I could, there wasn’t much left but a sentient consciousness. If you spend a lot of time alone, as I do, very little pulls you out of your own head, and if you also live for the moment, nothing stands separately from you that says “hey, I am feeling this” or “hey, I am thinking this.” You just feel. You just think. Of course, things change when you’re visiting with someone. Then you become you, the person that’s different from the person you’re talking to, and it becomes obvious you’re the person who is feeling, saying, thinking, whatever.
Which brings me to the final prompt on my list: “Myths we live by.” Frankly, no matter what we think, we all live by myths. And a lot of those myths tend to become illuminated in political discourse, whether protest or quiet talks. We all see and react to the world based on our own myths of what is right or wrong, what is a hero or villain, what is important or not worth thinking about. I have a hunch this prompt was more for me, to discuss the myths I have created for myself, but it’s been years since I put this on my list of blog prompts, and I have no idea what I intended. Obviously, I didn’t know it back then, either, or I would have written the blog and not put the topic on a list.
Well, that takes care of this blog topic list.
I better start another!
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Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One.
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