Bertram's Blog

Back to Normal

October 15, 2020 — Pat Bertram

Despite one odd reminder of The Bob, my life seems as if it’s back to normal, or as normal as it gets since Jeff died. Now that the library is open again, I’ve been going at least once a week to say hi and check out an armload of books. I’ve made a couple of forays to the historical museum, once to be briefed on a project I’m going to do for them (listening to living history recordings and then turning them into short presentations for various exhibits) and once for an Art Guild meeting. The meeting was fun — it’s been months since I was able to attend a meeting. At first, they stopped the meetings because we couldn’t plan and prepare for any guild projects, then when the meetings began again, I was working.

Everyone was there when I arrived, and when they excitedly said hello, I brandished my very elegant hat and swept a flourishing bow. Someone mentioned that it seemed as if I were a star. Of course, I agreed.

I’ve also met a new resident (an artist/musician from Austin), heard about an artist from New York who moved here to open a studio, and learned that as of now, there are no houses for sale.

Big, big changes for such a tiny town! Apparently, I slipped into the door of affordable houses before it could slam shut behind me, Or, it could be that the door had been closing all along, and it waited for me to come before it latched itself.

Next week, with any luck, my contractor will come and continue working on my various projects. He’d planned to come on Tuesday, but the gas company had the alley closed off and dug up to install new lines.

Despite all this seeming activity, I mostly spend time by myself, read, skim articles on the internet, play games on my computer, walk when the weather and I agree on suitability. And do my daily tarot card study.

Today’s card, the same one I got a couple of weeks ago, warned me about the folly of worrying about things I cannot change, and to salvage what peace I can from the chaos around me. Good advice and so needed. Although I normal don’t pay a lot of attention to politics, I’ve been worrying about the changes this next election will bring no matter who is elected, and yet, from the most recent spates of free speech suppression, I realize the changes are already here, incubating in the schools and the unformed minds of the young. If the legacy press as well as sites such as Twitter and Facebook can suppress the truth about one candidate’s son’s graft and the lies that were told about the candidate selling us out to China, if kids can be expelled from school for sharing conservative points of view (non-incendiary points of view, I might add), if dictionaries can change their definitions overnight to turn a common phrase into one that is verboten, then we’re lost. And if we’re lost, then there’s nothing I can do about it except make sure I remain found.

What’s that Rudyard Kipling poem? Something about keeping my head when all about me are losing theirs and being lied [to] but not deal in lies . . . Well, then, there would be one person in the world who is not a problem.

So, normalcy. My sort of normalcy.

As for the odd reminder of The Bob — I am working for a woman who has a nurse who works for a woman who belongs to an agency where an employee tested positive for The Bob. Not close at all, really, but too close for complacency.

Hmm. I might have to stop calling the Chinese virus “The Bob.” I wouldn’t want people to think my new book Bob, The Right Hand of God has anything to do with The Bob flu.

And yay! We’re getting closer to the October 20th publication date every day.

If you are planning to get a Kindle version of my new novel, Bob, The Right Hand of God you can now pre-order on Amazon, and the minute the book is published, the book will appear in your Kindle. Click here to purchase: Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

If you wish to buy a paperback copy, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale.

I truly hope this book will amuse you, entertain you, make you think and perhaps even dream a bit about what it would be like if God decided to recreate the world. I especially hope the book sells big. Admittedly, that would catapult me out of my recent return to normalcy, but that’s the sort of change I could go for.

Posted in culture, life. Tags: Bob The Right Hand of God, dictionaries changing definitions overnight, Pre-order kindle book on Amazon, sign up for email notification on Amazon, suppression of free speech, tarot card, What if God decided to recreate the world, worried about the election. Leave a Comment »

Six Days Until Publication!

October 14, 2020 — Pat Bertram

An excerpt from Bob, The Right Hand of God for you:

A kid in his late teens or early twenties with drooping trousers that exposed his dingy blue boxer short waited by the front counter, a wire cage at his feet. Approximately eighteen inches high, the enclosure appeared to be filled with scarlet, blue and yellow feathers.

A low-pitched squeak came from the mass of feathers, and Chet realized a live scarlet macaw had been scrunched into the cage. He clenched his hands and glared at the kid. I’d like to stuff you into a space half your size and see how you like it.

The kid grinned, displaying large teeth and a tongue ring. “Some dude told me you buy used pets. How much will you give me for this . . . um . . . this parrot?”

“A hundred.”

“A hundred dollars? You trying to cheat me? It’s worth at least a thousand.”

The bird looked half-dead from mistreatment and starvation. When raised in a loving atmosphere, a macaw was an affectionate creature, but when mistreated, it could be vicious. Even if the bird survived, it would probably be unsalable.

“A hundred and twenty. Take it or leave it.” You little shit.

“You can’t do that.”

“I’m not the one trying to peddle an almost dead bird.” Chet started to walk away.

“Okay, okay, but I want cash.”

Chet strode to the cash register and pulled out six twenties. The kid grabbed the money and bolted from the store, almost tripping on his pant legs.

The orange cat circled the cage. The macaw let out another feeble squeak.

Chet lifted the cage and gently set it on the counter. “You’ll be free in just a minute, little one.”

He went into the back room for a dish of nuts and seeds, a peeled banana, and a bowl of water. He set them in front of the cage, then opened the door and stepped back.

The bird did not move.

Maybe he should try to pull it out? No. One thing the creature didn’t need was more rough handling. It would come out when ready.

While he waited for the macaw to extricate itself, he popped another lemon drop into his mouth.

The candy dissolved into tart nothingness, and still the macaw didn’t move.

Without warning, the exotic birds in their oversized cages flapped their wings, squawking and screaming. The dogs yipped. The snakes coiled and uncoiled. The fish churned their waters.

And from a distance came the sound of gunfire.

***

We’re getting closer to the October 20th publication date every day!

If you are planning to get a Kindle version of my new novel, Bob, The Right Hand of God, you can now pre-order on Amazon, and the minute the book is published, the book will appear in your Kindle. Click here to purchase: Kindle version of Bob, The Right Hand of God.

If you wish to buy a paperback copy, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale.

I truly hope this book will amuse you, entertain you, make you think and perhaps even dream a bit about what it would be like if God decided to recreate the world.

Posted in books, fiction, writing. Tags: Bob The Right Hand of God, Dark humor, Excerpt from Bob the Right Hand of God, humorous science fiction, Pre-order kindle book on Amazon, sign up for email notification on Amazon, What if God decided to recreate the world. Leave a Comment »

Freedom Vs. Security

October 13, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I spent much of the morning researching identity politics because it’s the hot issue of our time (one of them anyway), and I figured I should know what it is. From what I can figure out, after distilling what truth I could find in the midst of all the rhetoric is that some people believe each special group deserves special consideration. Each group, that is, besides white Christians and white males. Those two are fair game. Otherwise, the issue is about equity, not equality. Equality is about treating everyone the same regardless of their group identity. Equity is about treating everyone unequally, depending on that identity. A simplistic definition, I know, but that seems to be the basis of identity politics in a nutshell.

To many people, equality is the way to achieve . . . well, equality. All people are equal regardless of race, color, creed, gender, whatever. While to others, equity is about achieving . . . I don’t know exactly. Inequality, for sure since some people are more favored than others. But it’s also about racism. Instead of a color-blind society, we are moving toward a society that is divided ever more by race, creed, etc.

At one time, we in the USA all wanted the same thing — equality, prosperity, freedom — or at least most of us did. The party lines were drawn by the difference in how people wanted to go about achieving those ends.

Now the division is created not in trying to come together to achieve the same end, but in trying to achieve completely different ends. In my life, I’ve never seen such a division in the goals between the parties. I’ve never seen such blatant Marxism being bandied about. Never seen a lot of what’s going on, that’s for sure. I’ve especially never seen so much suppression being forced on us in the name of freedom.

I don’t know what got me started on this — I actually came here to post another excerpt from my book that’s coming out in a week (October 20!). I suppose it makes sense that I’m thinking of freedom, because that’s the underlying theme of Bob, the Right Hand of God — how much freedom we’re willing to give up for security, and how much security we’re willing to give up for freedom.

If I were to write the book today, I’d have to add a third theme, about how much freedom we’re willing to give up for the sake of equity, because that seems to be one of the themes of our time. Maybe I will pursue this third theme if I ever decide to write a sequel to Bob, the Right Hand of God.

For now, the theme of freedom vs. security is still a good one, especially considering all the freedoms we’ve given up in the attempt to save us from disease.

If you wish to buy a paperback copy, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale.

I truly hope this book will amuse you, entertain you, make you think and perhaps even dream a bit about what it would be like if God decided to recreate the world.

Posted in culture, fiction, writing. Tags: Bob The Right Hand of God, equity vs equality, freedom vs security, Identity politics, Pre-order kindle book on Amazon, sign up for email notification on Amazon, What if God decided to recreate the world. 2 Comments »

Good News for Kindle Owners

October 12, 2020 — Pat Bertram

If you wish to buy a paperback copy, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale.

We’re getting closer to the October 20th publication date every day! I truly hope this book will amuse you, entertain you, make you think and perhaps even dream a bit about what it would be like if God decided to recreate the world.

An excerpt from Bob, The Right Hand of God for you:

The chiming of the bell over the door reverberated through the quiet store. All day the animals, especially the birds, had been uncharacteristically silent. Chet thought John was right about something strange going on. But what? Not a storm. Usually the extra electricity in the air preceding a storm made the creatures animated, not lethargic. Unless, perhaps, the storm was gathering strength, like a tidal wave sucking water away from the shore before crashing down upon it.

Deciding he had too active an imagination, Chet went to wait on his customers—a woman and a little boy in search of a puppy.

“I’m sorry. I don’t sell puppies.” While managing a pet store in the mall, he learned the horrors of puppy mills, and now that he had his own store, he refused to support those businesses.

“Kitty!” The boy toddled over to the orange cat and squatted down to study it.

The cat stared back, its emerald eyes narrowed to slits.

“Does it have a name?” the woman asked.

“I’m sure it does.”

“Well? What is it?”

“I don’t know. He never told me.”

Her brows drew together. “How much do you want for it?”

“He’s not for sale; he’s my business partner. But I have a litter of kittens that will be weaned in another week.”

“I really wanted a puppy.”

“Would you please take one step to your right, Ma’am?”

“What?”

Chet gestured to the knee-high frilled lizard that had released itself from the cage and, on its hind legs, was running laps from wall to wall.

Stifling a shriek, the woman scooped up the boy and scurried outside.

Chet reached into a pocket for the small bag of lemon drops he always carried and popped one in his mouth while he watched the little dragon. The zoo had kept it in a cage too small to allow it freedom of movement, and a muscle in a hind leg had atrophied, but now that it got plenty of exercise, the leg seemed to have healed.

When the lizard finished its laps and scampered back to its cage, Chet looked down at the orange cat. “Would you watch the store for me? I’d like to run next door to see if Rosemary has any stale flowers for the tortoises.”

The cat licked a paw then washed behind an ear.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

***

Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a Loved One. “Grief: The Inside Story is perfect and that is not hyperbole! It is exactly what folk who are grieving need to read.” –Leesa Healy, RN, GDAS GDAT, Emotional/Mental Health Therapist & Educator

Posted in books, fiction, writing. Tags: Bob The Right Hand of God, Excerpt from Bob the Right Hand of God, frilled lizard, Pre-order kindle book on Amazon, puppy mill, sign up for email notification on Amazon, What if God decided to recreate the world. 2 Comments »

Being Reminded

October 11, 2020 — Pat Bertram

It was too windy for me to go for a walk today, so I worked around the house — dusting, dry mopping, wet mopping, and various other chores. What struck me as I was pampering my house is how many people contributed in one way or another to my being here, through small inheritances and other legacies, furniture donations, help in fixing up the place, in oh, so many ways. I don’t like thinking that people had to die for me to be here, but the love they left behind is something I do like to think of. At times, it feels as if the house wraps me in comfort and safety, which I particularly needed to be reminded of today.

Elections don’t normally affect me one way or another, but this one has me scared for what it portends for our country. I’m particularly aware of the revolution going on that will upend the core beliefs of many of us and make the world a lot less safe. With potential new taxes, with new mores, with the lack of any desire on the part of some leaders to stop the looting in various cities (in fact, some nominees actually approve of looting and want to keep it going), there will be no way to keep what we have from the grasp of the various powers if they want to take it. (Not that this is anything new. It’s just that I never had anything before to be taken so it never seemed personal.)

Although I knew this revolution was going on, and has been going on for many decades in one form or another, I never thought to see it gaining ground so rapidly. I figured I’d be gone by the time this country became unrecognizable. Luckily, I live in the back of beyond where people still believe in accountability, responsibility, family, equality, freedom, law and order, less rather than more government, and all the other strengths of a stable society, so maybe I won’t feel the effects as much as I fear.

But whether those big changes come soon or are still several years away, for today, I am surrounded by all the love invested in this house. And that’s a great place to be. And a wonderful thing to be reminded of.

And speaking of being reminded, let’s not forget that in nine days, my latest novel, Bob, The Right Hand of God will be published! If you would like to be notified by email when the book is available, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale.

Posted in culture, home, life. Tags: afraid of this election, Bob The Right Hand of God, lack of law and order, looting, revolution, the back of beyond, the love invested in my house. 4 Comments »

Countdown to Publication

October 10, 2020 — Pat Bertram

It’s only ten days until the publication of my new novel, which will be published on October 20, 2020. If you would like to be notified by email when the book is available, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is for sale. Meantime, here are a couple of brief excerpts to whet your interest:

The screen went black.

“Something must be wrong with the cable,” Isabel said. “I’ll call them tomorrow.”

After thirty seconds of whistles, hums, and buzzes, the picture came back on. Instead of the anchorperson, the head of a gnomish man with a round, bespectacled face, a bald pate, and a receding chin filled the screen.

“I am Bob, the Right Hand of God. As part of the galactic renewal program, God has accepted an offer from a development company on the planet Xerxes to turn Earth into a theme park. Not even God can stop progress, but to tell the truth, He’s glad of the change. He’s never been satisfied with Earth. For one thing, there are too many humans on it. He’s decided to eliminate anyone who isn’t nice, and because He’s God, He knows who you are; you can’t talk your way out of it as you humans normally do. For another thing—”

Isabel clicked off the television and stood up. “We must have missed the news.”

Clutching the remote, she stalked to the guestroom and shut the door.

Chet continued to stare at the darkened screen. He would have liked to see more of Bob—looked like it could have been an interesting science fiction movie—but dealing with Isabel exhausted him. He didn’t have the energy to get up and manually turn the television back on.

[The next day, John the butcher stopped by Chet’s pet store with entrails and such for the reptiles. They talked for a bit, then John started to leave, hesitated, and turned back.]

“Does it feel a little strange to you today?”

“Strange how?”

“I don’t know. Just a creepy feeling I have, like a storm’s coming.” John twitched his shoulders. “Probably nothing. Maybe I let that Bob thing get to me.”

“What Bob thing?” Chet asked.

“Some guy pulled an April Fool’s prank last night. Hacked into the television signal. Claimed he was The Right Hand of God. Silly, but I’ve been feeling creepy all day.”

“I thought it was a movie.”

“Nope. A friend of mine at Channel Ten told me they lost the signal for about five minutes.”

Chet shivered. “Now I’ve got the creeps. Thanks a lot.”

And so the saga begins . . .

***

Posted in books, fiction, writing. Tags: apocalytic novel, Bob The Right Hand of God, countdown to publication, Galactic Renewal Program, humorous science fiction, new Pat Bertram book, What if God decided to recreate the world. 1 Comment »

Oh, Look! My Book!

October 9, 2020 — Pat Bertram

My new novel will be published on October 20, 2020. If you’d like to be notified by email when it’s available, click here: Bob, The Right Hand of God, sign up for email notifications, and Amazon will let you know the minute it is available.

All Chet Thomlin wants is to be left alone to care for the abandoned and neglected animals at his store, Used Pets, but his obnoxious customers and clinging mother make life miserable. And nothing ever seems to change.

On April Fool’s day, a gnome-like little man appears on television. He introduces himself as Bob, the Right Hand of God, and says that as part of the galactic renewal program, God has accepted an offer from a development company on the planet Xerxes to turn Earth into a theme park.

Chet laughs at the prank, but then bizarre things happen. Carrier pigeons return, millions of them, darkening the sky as they hadn’t done for over a hundred years. His mother and her entire subdivision are wiped off the face of the earth. And his friends disappear.

On Easter Sunday, a bright light appears, and Bob tells the remaining population of Denver that if they enter the light, they will be safe from the reconstruction zone. Chet watches people enter one by one, but he refuses to step forward, thinking that he’d rather have his freedom than to be in a dubiously safe place.

The light fades, and Chet gets what he wanted. He is left alone. Well, except for Bob. Bob won’t let him be. Bob calls Chet on his now defunct cellphone, taunts him, plays with his senses. Being chosen by The Right Hand of God is no fun!

Even worse, Chet gets more change than he can handle. Plumbing and all other signs of civilization vanish. Denver becomes a prairie of blue flowers that sweep into an inland sea where a prehistoric monster lives. Volcanoes grow at his feet.

And Chet has become prey.

Maybe going into that mysterious light wouldn’t be so bad after all . . .

***

Posted in books, fiction, life, writing. Tags: apocalytic novel, Bob The Right Hand of God, Galactic Renewal Program, humorous science fiction, new Pat Bertram book, What if God decided to recreate the world. 6 Comments »

Yang and Yanger

October 8, 2020 — Pat Bertram

When I was young, I thought the world would be a different place when women began to run things. Oh, my — what was I thinking?

Looking back, I suppose I was thinking that the women who would achieve leadership would bring feminine attributes to the position, a mother earth (or earth mother) who sees all, gently ushers us to peace and prosperity, shows us the way to kindness and caring, displays wisdom and understanding and especially creativity — an outflowing of life-giving forces that take us where we need to be.

Instead, what we have are a whole slew of Lucrezia Borgias and Lizzie Bordens. Women who will do anything to achieve their ends (their ends, not our ends), to do what is best for them (best for them, not best for us). Women who, it seems, will bludgeon us with their power and if that doesn’t work, they’ll bring out the axes. (I’m probably maligning Lucrezia and Lizzie for the sake of parallelism, but they were the first names that come to mind for examples of women who are seen as more vicious than men.)

I know the consensus is that women have to be more ruthless than men (unless you were a supreme court judge, then you needed to be simply ruth), stronger and more aggressive to get ahead, but if this is the case, then what do we need women in power for? We already have men playing those games. Instead of the balance of yin and yang, we now have yang and yanger. This doesn’t bode well for a well-rounded world, which, in fact, isn’t round but is an oblate spheroid or oblate ellipsoid, but you get my point.

Their point, the point of those in power, that is, has nothing to do with a well-rounded society at peace with itself and the world. It has everything to do with . . .

I had to stop here and think. What is the point of those in power? What are they trying to gain? More power for themselves, of course, as well as a ton of money, but other than that, I haven’t a clue. All I know is that both men and women are struggling for a power that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with making us or our lives better.

It’s disappointing to me (the me that was once young and idealistic) that women are settling for so little. I thought we were better than that.

Apparently not.

***

Posted in history/myth, life. Tags: earth mother, embodiment of feminine creativity, life-giving forces, lizzie borden, lucrezia borgia, what's the point of power, women in power, women need to be more ruthless than men. 11 Comments »

A Rainbow of Blogs

October 7, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I’ve temporarily found a way around Facebook’s total block of my blog. I share the blog to another blog I have, and then post the link to that blog. So far, so good. It’s possible FB’s algorithms will notice that the blog is not posting anything original and ban that one, too, but then I’ll do the same thing with another blog. I have plenty, most of which are moribund.

Back when I learned to blog, I discovered that I could change the color of this blog theme, so I started all sorts of blogs in order to have a whole rainbow of them. There was also one I started much later because I liked the notebook format. Then, as did all the rest, it fell by the wayside.

I did use all those blogs for a while, though I can’t remember why I started Wayword Wind — well, I needed a green blog to finish off my blog rainbow, but there must have been some other reason for the blog. With the way I purposely misspelled wayword, I must have planned on using it as some sort of writing blog, maybe even a place to post 100 word stories that I called Mini Fiction. For a while, I posted photographic essays, but since I don’t save this blog just for articles about reading and writing any more, I now post photos here.

The purple blog was a compilation of articles about book promotion, which I haven’t looked at for a while. I tend to think most of those articles are now outdated, but I leave them up anyway. What else can I use a blog for that’s called Book Marketing Floozy?

Then there was the orange blog I originally started to talk about all the things I did to procrastinate, which I called Dragon My Feet. (As you can see, I thought I was clever back in those days.) When I procrastinated too much to post to the blog, I turned it into a blog to promote other authors – all they had to do was send me an excerpt and links, and I’d post it for them.

Then there was the red interview blog, Pat Bertram Introduces . . ., another blog to promote other authors. All they had to do was follow the directions, and I’d post and promote an interview about them and their books.

It seems naïve now, but back at the beginning, even before I had a single book published, I thought if I promoted other authors, they would in turn promote me. Um. No. Both book blogs were popular, and I seemed to be spending hours every week posting the excerpts and interviews, but when I realized all my work did nothing to help with the sales of my books — that in all those years, only one or two authors ever thought to reciprocate — I made reciprocation “payment” for my promotional efforts. And both blogs died. (I’d also had a promo group on FB for authors to post links to their books, but it was a reciprocal thing — they had to like or share other people’s work. When I realized that they were sharing only their friend’s posts but not mine, I got vindictive and erased everyone from the group. It was too much work for nothing.)

As it turns out, it’s good I have all these blogs just sitting there. I’ll probably need a continuing range of such blogs to stay ahead of FB’s vendetta against this blog.

I tend to think the bio I put on the bottom of each blog is the issue. Originally, I had several links in the bio rather than the single link I have now, but the damage has been done. I’m certainly not going to remove the bio just to pacify the computers that run an increasingly dubious site because the bio is important. There are many automatic blogs that pick up and post any blog they can find, and for a while, they did this to me quite regularly. I could complain and get the offending blog sites removed from WordPress, but more kept springing up. Other people had the same problem, and the only recourse they had was to make sure there were a bio and links in the blog so that it would link back to the original author. So that’s what I did. This way, it doesn’t make as much difference if someone steals the whole article — the message still gets out there.

I suppose if I had used a different bio each day, the computers wouldn’t have picked up on it, but it’s too late now.

And anyway, it will give me a use for that whole rainbow’s worth of blogs.

***

Posted in blogging, life. Tags: author interviews, banned from Facebook, book excerpts, book marketing floozy, Dragon My Feet, Pat Bertram Introduces, promoting other authors, wayword wind. Leave a Comment »

Learning the Tarot

October 6, 2020 — Pat Bertram

I’m still doing my one card a day tarot study, though I’m not sure if I’m learning anything. The whole thing confuses me — if the card tells me what I already know about myself, then it seems unnecessary. It it’s supposed to help me see where I am going, then that too seems unnecessary since I will know what I know when I get there. And if it’s about delving deeper into my psyche and coming in contact with my higher self — well, so far that hasn’t happened.

It’s possible the lack is in the tarot itself. After all, the tarot is only a deck of cards — specialized cards, but still just cards. Although each card is assigned a meaning of sorts, a core truth, the cards are open to interpretation, so whatever a person thinks the card means that particular day is the meaning, and that meaning can be different on a different day. This all seems too imprecise and ambiguous for my logical and concrete mind.

It’s possible the lack is in me, not just my inability to intuit any meanings, but my inability to connect with any particular deck. It’s possible I’ll be able to find such a deck — after all, I have dozens of them. Each month I use a different deck, and so far, the ones I’ve used are off-putting. The artwork doesn’t speak to me, and the symbolism of the artwork seems specious at best. Still, I’m sure I will find an affinity with at least one, and then we’ll see if my studies take a different turn.

Having said that, I’ve been keeping track of my daily card, and I do see a pattern to the cards I pick, vague though that pattern might be, because the same cards seems to show up again and again. For example, the king and queen of pentacles show up at least once every month, sometimes two or three times. Since I pick a card randomly, this repetition seems to indicate that more than mere chance is at work. If I used the same deck all the time, I’d think that perhaps the card hadn’t been shuffled well enough or was sticky or had some sort of defect that made the card stand out, but I use a different deck every month.

These two cards do seem to be a reflection of my life. The queen, in a few words, represents someone who is secure in her personal possessions and in her place in life, and the king refers to stability and not having to prove oneself. Since the cards are open to interpretation, and since every tarot writer has assigned various meanings, these few words don’t tell the whole story, but they suffice for the purposes of this article.

Another and seemingly opposite card that I get frequently is the ten of swords which spells ruination, disaster, calamity, though this seems to reflect my thoughts about the current USA situation rather than my own. The card is also a reminder that though I can’t change the actions of another person, I can change how I respond, which seems a timely reminder, for sure.

The cards I pick are mostly swords and pentacles. Very few cups or wands. Very few of the major arcana, though The Tower shows up periodically, which among other things, points to changes — a release of tension that has been building up, a flash of sudden insight, or maybe a warning.

So does any of this mean anything? I don’t know. My daily card pick is helping me get used to the tarot, and it is getting me familiar with the various way experts interpret the cards, so that’s something. The card itself sometimes seems to refer to me, sometimes it seems to refer to what’s going on in the rest of the country, sometimes it seems to be a reflection of my worries. But does it add anything to what I know? Not that I can see.

Sometimes the cards tell me I am more intuitive than I know, other times they seem to think I rely on my intellect. Either way, does it matter?

I do try to find a bit of advice in the daily card, as I did with the ten of swords mentioned above, but these are merely reminders of what I already know.

I suppose it’s possible that after years of study, I might find . . . something. But then, that’s not the point of my studying. I have the cards, and I do find the array of the different decks compelling, and if there is any esoteric knowledge hidden in the cards, I’d like to know what it is. But more than that, it’s about connecting with my deceased brother, the one who collected the cards. “Connecting” might be the wrong word since I’m not trying to connect with him in any psychic way. It’s more that I am connecting with my memory of him, with the private person buried beneath his polarizing personality, the beloved brother I lost way before his death.

That connection, if nothing else, does give my daily card reading a meaning.

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